[Very carefully wrapped in a nice wicker basket is packed a bottle of red wine, a box of chocolates, two mystery books (because Ernie seems like the mystery book type), a puzzle book, and a box of trail mix & dried fruits. On top there is a lime green sticky note.]
Ernie,
This is all later than I'd wanted but I’m not really sure what exactly you’re supposed to get a bloke when they’re sad (or, at any rate, you think there is a good chance that they are sad). Normally, I’d just buy them ice cream and chocolates and sugar quills until they are so sugar-happy that they forget but then I remembered that you don’t really like sweets all that much. So, then I thought that maybe you’d like something similar but more healthy and the only thing I could think of was fruit and how weird would that be to just go and send someone a gigantic mountain of fruit because that stuff goes bad and if they really wanted that much fruit they might as well just go to the supermarket and what if you get the wrong sort of fruit because people are very particular about that sort of thing and--- well. Weird. It would just be weird, yeah? And so you got some chocolate. And wine because I’d been told wine is supposed to go with chocolate once you become an adult (I hate wine though). And some less sweet snacks like nuts and fruit leather. And books because you’re a smart bloke so I figured you’d like figuring out mysteries and doing puzzles and stuff?
Anyway. I’m really sorry about Lavender leaving. And you can come hang out whenever you want and we wont have to talk about it or anything and we could just watch dumb movies. It’ll be fun. But for real. Anytime.