rose_az (rose_az) wrote in fourteenshades, @ 2013-11-29 23:35:00 |
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Entry tags: | lorcan scamander, rose zeller |
Who: Rose and Lorcan
What: Uhm... snogging and talking about where they stand.
Where: Lorcan's place
When: Backdated to the evening of Nov. 24th
Rating: PG13?
Status: Completed in gdocs
To say that Rose felt exhausted was an understatement, but that still didn’t mean she wasn’t going to get completely fired up over Wilkes treatment of Lorcan. Him saying gross things to her was one thing, but to be so horrible to Lorcan who had only been trying to defend her? Well it was safe to say she felt entirely responsible for the whole thing. The night she had agreed to drinks with Wilkes, it had been nothing more than an impulsive adrenaline rush. She had been tired then too, but not as badly as she was now. And bored. Very bored. It was really just a side effect of this place, the boredom, but that was because Rose was used to travelling often and wandering different cultures throughout the world. It was killing her on the inside that she felt so closed up. They didn’t even have a damn car here, or a motorcycle. For a while another version of Sirius Black had been building one, but she was pretty sure more than one of him had come and gone since then, taking the dream with him.
But even though she was running on empty, that didn’t mean Rose wasn’t totally serious in her threats to the Death Eater. She understood Atticus was a big bad meanie that she shouldn’t be messing with, but she didn’t care. Lorcan was a squib. And though she found absolutely nothing wrong with that it made her uncomfortable when a DE probably prone to using awful magic against another was threatening him. After all, he had no magic to fight back with. Not that magic was everything, but it was destructive when used in the wrong hands. And the followers of Lord Voldemort seemed to be those exact people.
When she had written to Lorcan about coming over and finished up her threat war with Wilkes, she got together her things, fed and played with Sonic and headed out the door. It was a cool evening and she had to pull her coat tight over her tiny frame to shield her from the chill. She also knew she should have gotten over to her friends house quickly to avoid causing him worry, but she couldn’t help but wander around town a bit and make sure nobody was looking for trouble. Rose wouldn’t put it past someone as slimy and stupid as Wilkes seemed to not be creeping around at night. Rather quickly though she grew too cold and hurried the rest of the way to Lor’s. Though she usually barged right in, considering the circumstances she figured knocking would be best, and wrapped on the door in an annoying fashion. Pulling her hand away once she had made her point she shoved it into her coat, waiting as patiently as Rose was capable of for someone to answer the door. And while she waited she thought a moment about how badly she felt about everything, and hoped that Lorcan wasn’t totally regretting being her friend at this point.
Lorcan had been sitting at his desk, staring out the window facing the front of his house. His father had already checked the wards on the house, and his Gun was sitting just a few paces away. Honestly, he didn't expect Wilkes to try anything, but he wasn't going to be caught off guard. He was mad, but he felt it slowly melt away at the sight of the Orange haired girl he'd been pinning over.
He stood and took the door two steps at a time, smiling a bit as he pulled open the door.
"Hey," he grinned gently, "did you run into any trouble?" He asked her, closing the door after pulling her carefully inside. Without even thinking, he moved some hair from her face, chuckling a bit at the way it stuck. "I'm sorry about all that."
Rose couldn’t help but let a huge smile spread across her features as Lorcan swung open the door. She couldn’t exactly say why, but she had been mighty okay with wasting her days away with the other boy. Though of course she wouldn’t admit to herself that she liked him beyond a friend, only because in her experience most of her guy friends weren’t interested in her in that way. She didn’t want to get her hopes up about well… anything in particular just to have them slammed back down in her face.
When he pulled her inside, she blushed slightly as he brushed her wild hair away from her face. His warm fingers left a tingling sensation where it brushed against her cold skin, and a bit of goosebumps broke out over her arms and neck at the feeling of it.
“No, I didn’t run into any trouble. Didn’t particularly expect to but you know,” shrugging her shoulders a bit and letting her coat slide off, she looked back up at him with almost a guilty expression. “Why are you apologizing? Nothing about this right now is your fault.” Biting her lower lip and looking away from him and at her shoes, finding a sudden interest in the pattern there she went on, “It’s mine, obviously. I should have never said anything to him in the first place. And then you had to be all great and shit and defend me and now he’s practically after you.” She had to take a breath from in between her rush of words, but she tended to have word vomit when she got worked up or nervous. It was hard to stop her and get a word in edgewise.
“So yeah, I’m sorry I’m the biggest pain in the arse friend ever because you’re really great and I kind of don’t deserve you,” she said quietly, running a hand through her hair awkwardly and still refusing to really look at him. She didn’t know why but the idea of Lorcan being annoyed or angry with her kind of bothered her on a level she couldn’t quite explain
out loud.
Lorcan frowned a bit. He could tell that Rose was upset, and he didn't like it. It wasn't her fault, Wilkes was a pain in the ass that couldn't handle society.
"Not your fault, he's a prick, and he won't come around here if he knows what's good for him." Lorcan chewed his lip and pulled her into a hug for a second. "But, we're going to listen to awesome music, and not fucking worry about him." He gave her a gentle smile before taking her hand, leading her up the stairs to his room.
"Why are you having trouble sleeping?"
Even after his words reassuring her he didn’t blame her, Rose couldn’t help but still feel the guilt in the pit of her stomach. But she tried her best to swallow it down and move on, because it seems that’s what Lorcan wanted anyway. And when he hugged her, she couldn’t help but press her face into his chest and let her arms wrap around his waist tightly, even for as brief of a moment as the hug lasted.
Once they were in his room, Rose made her way over to the bed and gently plopped down as he asked her about sleeping. Sighing she shook her head and tugged gently at her messy hair. “I don’t know… I’m just too… I don’t know.” Articulate, Rose.
Frustrated with herself for being unable to explain, she pulled her legs tightly to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “I feel restless. Wound up. Pent up. I don’t know. When I feel like that I can’t.. shut myself off at night. Instead I have to figure out ways to make me tired. Like working myself into it. The only problem is I have a lot more energy than most and I usually don’t realize I’m exhausted until I’m falling over.” Giving herself a small smile at that, she looked up at him. “Pathetic, right?
Lorcan moved across the room, looking out the window for a moment. He was satisfied I'm that moment that Wilkes wouldn't be bothering them that night, and so he carefully moved the gun from his desk, unloading it before tucking it away on the top shelf. He turned to look back at Rose with a smile nodding.
"You're not pathetic, Rosie. I mean, you're not me, so that's a start." He gave her a grin as he took a seat in the bed next to her. He fiddled for a moment with the wireless near his bed, turning it on low. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"
Smacking him lightly in the shoulder as he sat down next to her she gave him a disapproving look. “Oi, hush up,” she said, untangling her legs from her arms and trying to go for a more relaxed position. She had to admit her eyebrows perked up a bit as he unloaded the gun, and she couldn’t help but think it was slightly sexy. That was slightly stereotypical, sure. The bad boy with the gun. But Lorcan wasn’t a bad boy, no. And that was part of why she liked spending so much time with him. The rebel thing got old pretty fast, and she for one knew that for a fact. Living out on the road you met many and they were all equally pretty awful people. “What’s so wrong with you then, exactly? I happen to like you just the way you are, thanks.”
After the words were out of her mouth she pressed her lips together, running a hand through her hair and leaning into his shoulder as the music started to disperse through the room. “I don’t know. Would it be too weird of me to ask if you just wanted to lie down and cuddle or something?” It sounded sort of cheesy, and her cheeks flushed a bit pink after she had told him what was on her mind. But it sounded relaxing, and isn’t that what she was supposed to be going for right now
"Lots of things," he shrugged, "I'm weird and awkward with no magic and tons of neurosis." What he said, in his mind, had tons of truth to it, but he was smirking as he said it. "Same things that have been wrong with me this whole time, I guess." He laid on the bed, reaching arms out towards her to invite her to lay with him.
"I think that would be okay." He said, trying to shave some of his enthusiasm. He didn't want her to know just how happy it would make him. "Though, I mean, it got weird last time we cuddled." He winked blinking at her with a slight blush on his face.
“Yeah well nobody’s perfect,” she said with a playful eyeroll, crawling over to where he was reaching out to her on the bed and laying down close to him, her face pressed close to his neck and the rest of her body close enough to feel the body heat radiating from him. “I mean… look at me. Disowned by her mother. Magical, but rarely uses it. Awkward. Short. Too spazzy for her own good. Yet somehow I manage to be commanding with a microphone.” Reaching her hand up a bit she rested it on his hip, gently letting her fingertips draw circles on the fabric of his shirt.
“It was? I barely remember the weirdness,” she said, giggling slightly and looking up at him. They were close. Really close. And for a moment she couldn’t help but realize that and bite down on her lower lip hard, her breath catching in her chest for a moment. “Thank you for letting me come over,” she said in a whisper, not even really sure why she was whispering in the first place.
Lorcan couldn't help smile at the warmth of Rose against his body. His hands moved to her back, fingers clumsily running up and down her back I'm what he hoped was a comforting manner. "If we were all perfect, we'd get bored or something. Though, I think you’re pretty close."
Rose’s home life made Lorcan frown. She deserved so much better than she got and honestly believe that. He adored her, and everytime she talked about her mother, there was a surge of anger within him. How could someone disown their own daughter? He had been afraid when he’d found out he was a squib, he’d been worried about how people would treat him, but it hadn’t even occurred that his parents might have disowned them. Sure, he thought he embarrassed them, but he never thought they would have just gotten rid of him, and the concept just baffled him. He chewed on his lip, frowning a little and subconsciously pulling her closer to him, holding her tighter. “Then you have the memory of a goldfish.” He winked at her playfully.
Lorcan almost didn’t hear her whisper, and continued rubbing her back gently, “Hey, you know you’re welcome here any time you want.” He told her honestly, pressing a light kiss to the top of her head.
He called her perfect. Or nearly so. Those words made her blush even more, and it made her question her relationship with Lorcan at that moment. Rarely had a guy friend called her perfect or been so sweet to her. More often than not she just tended to be one of the guys. Which was fine, of course, but sometimes it also got a bit annoying. It made her wonder if he actually... liked her liked her. Even the very idea seemed foreign to her and she tried to push it away, telling herself that she was being ridiculous.
"Don't tell me that. You'll never get me to leave," she tried to joke, though it was half hearted.
But the way he was being, the way he offered his home to her.... when he kissed her forehead her thoughts of logic and rationality were slowly fading, replaced by the warm body beside hers. One she almost couldn't ignore anymore. So turning her head up she pressed her lips to his, softly at first because she was trying to test the waters. Maybe he'd give her a peck and pull back and then she'd know they were definitely in the friend zone and that would be that. Rose could take a hint. But maybe not. And she made it apparent though her kiss was soft, she wasn't particularly interested in stopping right away. Involuntarily her fingers wrapped in the fabric of his shirt, trying to pull him even closer to her if that were possible.
"There are worse things," Lorcan quipped with a teasing smile. In that moment, he couldn't imagine anything better than sharing his bed with the woman that he was. He couldn't quite say what it was even that pulled him towards Rose so very heavily. She was beautiful, for sure, but there was more. She was smart and fun and down to earth.
And once again she'd caught him off guard with a kiss. It swept him up almost instantaneously, the feel of her lips on his, and her hand curled into his shirt. He hesitated, only for a moment, because he once again was stumped about where they stood. This was the third kiss they shared, and they were in his bed, and he had to work very hard to keep all of his blood from running south. He was quick to give into the kiss, his hand slowly moving up to make a home in her bright orange locks. He wasn’t the type of guy who made out with a lot of different girls in his time, and he could only hope that he wasn’t terrible at it.
She was so relieved when he didn’t pull back that she almost laughed out loud. But instead she only deepened their kiss, letting her tongue slide along his lower lip, into his mouth just enough to taste him. Before long she couldn’t even form a coherent thought, and she thought about how much she would really like their clothes to be on the floor. But no, that was too quick. There was something… different about Lorcan. Not in a bad way or anything but she just didn’t want to ruin everything. Though she pretended that her issues with her mother were long in the past, they were always bubbling just beneath the surface. And in her eyes, Rose was a ruiner. She didn’t want to be one though, not here, not now. But she didn’t know how, especially when she was second guessing herself left and right.
It was a while before she wanted to pull away, but she knew it was probably necessary. After all, things were getting pretty heated, at least to her, and at some point she needed to come up for air. And Lorcan most certainly didn’t have to worry, she hadn’t had a thought in her mind that he was a bad kisser. Quite the contrary really. He was sweet, gentle. She liked it.
“I uhm..” she started, looking away a bit and her cheeks turning the color of a tomato. “Sorry. I should be trying to sleep, shouldn’t I?” She chuckled. Wasn’t this the exact opposite. “I couldn’t help myself though,” she finished, her eyes finally reaching his. “I like… kissing you. And hanging out with you. And everything. I guess.” Yep. She was definitely the darkest shade of red she had ever been. She felt like she sounded so stupid and burying her head in the sand sounded actually wonderful at that moment.
Lorcan had completely lost himself in the kiss, letting Rose lead. He didn’t know how long they’d been kissing for, but he didn’t care, they could have kissed for days more and Lorcan might not have noticed. His teeth nipped lightly at her bottom lip for a few minutes before he felt her pulled away. Without realizing it, he let at a low moan at the lack of contact, and blushed slightly about it. The hand that was tangled in her hair fell slowly so that it was resting gently at the curve of her cheek. She was gorgeous, and he’d known that since the day he’d seen her, but the way she looked right then, slightly ruffled, with pink cheeks and kiss swollen lips.
All Lorcan could do was nod slightly at first. “Yeah, sleep.” He chuckled a little bit, his free hand raking nervously through his own hair, his face reddening almost to the same shade as hers. “I…” there was a soft sigh then, “I love hanging out with you too. And I like your laugh. And kissing you, and the way you worry about the otters and your voice. A… lot of things about you, actually.” His face was brightening with each moment, when he realized that he was more than likely saying too much in that moment. “I enjoy being around you, a lot.”
Rose watched slightly amused as Lorcan seemed to struggle through articulating his thoughts and feelings just like she had been. It made her feel a little more sure of herself and that she wasn’t completely crazy. “So uhm…” she started, her voice shaking just a bit to match the nerves she felt inside, “Does that mean… you uhm..” Fuck, this was a lot harder than she thought. Why was it so hard? Why couldn’t she just say what she was thinking? Maybe it was because there was still a gnawing feeling in the pit of her gut reminding her of how much she feared rejection. Especially from someone she cared about.
“So do you like… like me then? Because I like you,” she finished. As soon as the words were out of her mouth her breath caught in her chest and she instantly wished she could reach out and grab them, pull them back inside and pretend they never hit air. Now there was no going back, unless she got lucky and the last five seconds Lorcan went suddenly deaf.
“I mean if you don’t it’s totally cool.” Words started spilling past her lips, a sure sign of her nerves if her blazing face didn’t already give it away. “It’s not like you’re required to like me back or anything of course. I would understand if you didn’t. I’m sort of fucking mental...”
SHE LIKED HIM! It was almost as if nothing else that happened matter to him. She was nervous, and he’d wrapped his arms around her a little tighter, as if to help reassure her, but his mind was suddenly blank. She like him, and it almost felt like a joke. He grinned a wide grin, and pushed a bit of hair out of her face before ducking down to place another gentle kiss to her lips. When he eventually pulled away, his face was a deep blush.
“You’re the best kind of mental.” He winked at her, “But I… I’m mental too, and I think that maybe thats why we get along so well. Rosie, I … I like you a lot. I’ve liked you for a little while now, I think.” It didn’t help that he hadn’t been able to get the last time they’d kissed off his mind for a week now. He ran his hand through his hair nervously. What was he supposed to do now? What if she’d been joking or metaphoric.
"You do? You have?" She asked, a large grin trying to take shape across her features. A guy actually... like liked her? And she didn't have to even do anything all that special? This was totally new and foreign territory to her to say the least. She didn't know how to really respond beyond that, so she was thankful when he leaned down for another kiss. It may have been short, but that didn't stop her hands from snaking up and running through his hair. She liked the feeling, but she also wanted to reassure herself that she hadn't fallen asleep when she got there and this was all a dream. Not that it was a bad one, but she preferred this to be reality. But the feeling of him so real next to her made her throw the dream theory out the window.
"So does this mean... we're..." she stopped, looking for the right word. "Or that you want to be... exclusive. With me?" She wasn't totally sure boyfriend girlfriend should be brought up right away, but she figured the idea of exclusive was close. Hell she sucked that this. For anothet moment her breath caught in her chest making her worry a bit at his answer but she had faith it would be positive.
"Kiss me again?"
He could only nod at her, when she asked him about liking her. This hadn’t been why he’d approached her, when they talked at the bonfire, it was because she was interesting, not just because she was pretty. He grinned at her, chewing his lip softly as he thought about the question. Exclusive. He wanted that, because thats just how his brain worked, but he remember the conversation that he’d had with Mike. She liked being free, is what Mike had said, and Lorcan wouldn’t pressure her into something she didn’t want, but the whole thing made him nervous.
“I… would like that.” He said after a few minutes of silence. “I would like that a lot, but I know that… I mean, if you don’t want that then you don’t have to.” He shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t know what to do in the situation, which simply made him even more awkward than normal. He stroked her cheek gently, before he leaned down and placed a soft kiss to Rose’s lips.
Instead of answering him right away Rose pulled him too her, running her hands through his hair, down his side, getting to know the feel of him. It was nice. And his lips on hers tasted and felt good, something she didn't want to go away. Really, it answered his question for her. Sure, Rose was one of the freest spirits there was, but not in the... sexual sense. Sure, she'd had her fun. But she wasn't a normal rock star in the sense most people thought of. She didn't find it fun to pick up random guys in random towns. Her guy friends in the band found it fun, she just always ended up feeling dirty and used. It didn't help later on seeing people brag on the internet about being with her and treating her like an object or conquest more than a person. It hurt her on the inside.
Against her will though she pulled away from him to finally answer his words. "I'll be honest with you. I'm a roamer. I can't sit still. I like to do things on my own...." she trailed off, biting her lower lip. "But with relationships... I don't like that. I want one person. One who isn't going to write about our escapades online or brag to his friends. Alright well maybe a little is fine but just.. you get what I mean. I don't know... I guess that's why I've never really wanted to be with anyone." Smiling up at him though and gently touching his cheek she finished with, "But I trust you. And... I like hanging out and kissing you... and I wouldn't want you kissing anyone else so..."
When they finally pulled away, Lorcan was hopeful. But then Rose started going on about being independent and being a roamer and his stomach dropped and filled back with unease and nerves. She was going to change her mind or something, and he blinked a bit, and tried to focus on the words she was saying as his heart hammered in his chest. And then she completely pulled a one-eighty, and he let out a relieved smile.
“Well, if it helps, I don’t think they have the internet here. And, I’m not going to go like...make a banner or anything. And I don’t have a lot of friends who aren’t borderline related to me, and that would just be… awkward.” He smirked at her a little bit. This was nice, and completely unexpected when he’d invited her over that evening.
He placed a quick kiss to her lips, it lasted just a second. “Just… dont go meeting random death eaters at pubs, yeah?”
At his mention of death eaters and pubs, she let out an actual laugh that was a bit louder than she intended. Covering her mouth quickly in slight embarrassment, her cheeks turned red again and she shook her head. "Sorry, I didn't mean to like cackle or anything. Because that really shouldn't be funny considering your recent exchange. But it was. Or at least I thought so." That had not been her best decision making hour, that was for damn sure.
Snuggling into his chest she let out an involuntary yawn. "But you're right. No death eaters. I think I can handle that one. Especially after that steaming pile of ridiculous bullshit." Running a hand through her hair and smiling up at him she said, "But thank you for defending me and everything to him. That was brave. And stupid. But mostly brave. Its kind of adorable too." Giving him another slow kiss on the lips for a moment, she pulled back and looked up at him sweetly before letting out another large yawn.
"Sorry," she apologized quickly. "I'm sure that was attractive," she said, a tiny bit annoyed with herself.
“I intended it to be a little funny.” He said with a half shrug. “Besides, I think you have a rather infectious laugh.” He chuckled a little bit. He still wasn’t sure how this night had made such a dramatic turn, but he really couldn’t complain too much, they were really going in his favor and who knew how long it would be before Rose realized she was way out of his league.
“I’m glad we can agree on that. But it most definitely wasn’t brave. It was… entirely stupid. But, I think it worked out pretty well? Cause I mean, you’re here, and he’s not. You know.” he smiled over at her, smirking a bit when she yawned.
“You did come over to go to sleep.” He said with a bit of a grin. He pulled her closer towards him, and reached over to pull the blanket around the both of them, cocooning them in warmth.
If Rose had known Lorcan had been thinking something like he was out of her league, she probably would have smacked him in the back of the head. Because she most certainly didn’t think that. He was a good person and she felt comfortable around him. Safe. Oddly enough, she already trusted him a lot more than she did most other people. Otherwise she definitely wouldn’t have put herself out there for him to trample on, which she still sort of feared he might later on. Rose may have put on a show of confidence most of the time, but when it came to members of the opposite sex she was literally terrified. Part of the reason may have been because she remembered her experience of future heartbreak from the last age hiccup in the village and it certainly wasn’t a feeling one forgot quickly. It heart still ached on occasion. Her phantom heartbreak pains.
When he pulled the blanket around them, she instantly snuggled into his chest and yawned again. “You’re right. Sleep. That thing I never do,” she chuckled tiredly, truly starting to feel the exhaustion setting in from the last couple of days. “Thank you for letting me stay over and everything. I appreciate it. But I think I’m losing this waking world battle,” she finished with a slight smile. With Lorcan’s rhythmic breathing along side her, the warmth of the bed, and the contentment she felt at that exact moment, it took only minutes for Rose to fall asleep.