Albus S. Potter (blueseaweed) wrote in fourteenshades, @ 2013-09-27 10:48:00 |
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Current mood: | distressed |
Entry tags: | albus severus potter, helena ravenclaw |
Albus Severus & Helena
WHO: Albus Severus Potter & OPEN until filled Helena Ravenclaw
WHAT: Al needs to sort some stuff.
WHEN: Backdated to last night after James' entry.
WHERE: Outside the Blue Cow.
RATING: PG
It was no real secret that Albus Severus Potter was losing that which made him undeniably Al. In his real time, he stuck close to Scorpius and certain family members. Sure, he made Quidditch, but Albus was not in the habit of fitting in. He was in Ravenclaw not for any thirst of knowledge, but for a deeper desire to understand people. Facts and figures, while important, meant little to Al. He wanted to know what made people tick, which was easy for someone with as much empathy as Alby. However, that same empathy ultimately hurt the youngest Potter child. There were only so many emotions one person could feel without going bonkers. He put others' needs before his own, which became more a compulsion than a selfless act as bitterness started settling into his soul. When things became too much, Al wrote and sketched, but even his work was taking a turn toward the dark as his pain increased.
It wouldn't be any easier at home. He always stood out as the awkward and unusual one in his family. His thinking was vastly different from most of them, but he still had his parents and his siblings. He had them here too and they were good, but they had their own lives to lead. He didn't belong to anyone here. Everyone came in pairs of some sort. There was no one person he could turn to when he felt like this. Scorpius wasn't even here anymore. Making matters worse? The village exploded every few weeks. He hated fighting. It accomplished nothing in a place like this where no one was holding anyone else accountable for past misdeeds. It wasn't that he didn't understand the anger on all sides, but it was exhausting. Who should he reach out to? Who should he try to make feel better? Did what he have to say even matter?
He was worried about his grandfather. He didn't want James getting into trouble. He only had him here. What if James upset the magic somehow and was sent back? The only reason Albus didn't wish harder to leave was because of people like James and Fred and Gideon. He only had them here. They couldn't go vanishing on him. What was the point then? Why was he even here? This place was meant for his uncles and the people they needed from a time they needed. Albus and his cousins didn't factor in, which...was okay. Well, it wasn't, but Al understood it. Emotionally it hurt, but how could anyone remember a stranger? He knew them, but they didn't know him. He wasn't even some cool hero from the history books. He was just Albus Severus Potter, the one with the funny name. Did everyone really need to keep dwelling on that?
When it became clear his thoughts were too jumbled to sort through more of the journals, he grabbed his sketch pad, notebook, and quills. He was about to head to the tree-house, but decided on The Blue Cow instead. He rarely drank, which is how he got so sick that time, but, damn it, he was of age, and he could learn to pace himself like Jamie and Nate told him once.
He didn't stay. He ordered his drink and slipped out. He didn't really feel like running into anyone. He found a large rock in the shadows and sat. If no one noticed him, he could nurse whatever drink the bartender recommended and write about what he observed.