One thing she knew was that she never wanted him miss her the way she'd missed him. She wanted to protect him from that. Although she really didn't know what happened after death, if they'd be together there, or if he was waiting somewhere for her. They were things she'd thought about more than she probably should have. Things her friends tried to tell her not to think about too much.
Tears, they felt like they had a life of their own. They were a mix of happy, nervous, excited, scared, and pretty much any other emotion wrapped up into one. There was so much she wanted him to know, so much she wanted him not to have to know. It was a rush of emotion that she wasn't exactly sure how to handle. Roger was one of the very few people she could list that could see her break down and she wouldn't feel awkward about it later. She never had been the best at handling her emotions. Especially the last two years, she told her self it wasn't a luxury she could have.
She wanted to say, don't go, stay here, don't leave my sight, and the list just went on. "Stay here?" She finally said after a small wave of warmth passed over her. His kisses she knew them well, they held a strong power that Padma could remember trying to explain to her sister after their first kiss while dating.