He looked down at the table for a long while before shaking his head. "No," he murmured, voice so soft it was little more than a whisper. "No, things aren't okay. I'm not who I once was. I'm not... not good like I used to be. I fell to temptation in a big way and I'm being punished for it," he said. "I had a relationship with a Greek... one of their pagan..." he could barely get the words out, "gods. I loved him and he said he loved me too. And then he left. Just... gone. With no word. And then the bleeding started. And I can't repent, I can't take back what I did with him. I did... everything. And all I want... is to be pure again. And I can never be. So why would God ever want me again when I'm ruined?" he answered, tears stinging his eyes and blurring his vision.