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Can't lead Amie. ([info]willnotbeled) wrote in [info]flippedrpg,
@ 2013-06-26 21:13:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Who: Amiecolour and RemusTHG.
Where: A new home.
When: Tonight.
What: Reading and playing.
Rating/Status: G/Incomplete.



How long could she go on like this? It was a question that she asked every time before she took a pill, snorted a line, or went for a drag. To fill a void, an emptiness that sucked her in like a black hole. To forget, to hide, to runaway, to cast aside and ignore her very own void. Too long, she woken up to find paper scattered everywhere, words written in such brilliance that it pained to read. It didn't hurt to feel such emotions when she was so high, untouchable. How much longer could she do this?

I don't know how long I can do this. I think the universe has different plans for me.

She sat there in silence, completely sober for the first time in weeks.

This is the thing we come to, this is the thing we all fight, and if we are lucky enough to lose, our lives become more beautiful with mystery again.

"And that is not something I can say out loud."

Naturally, Amie kept most things in her mind. At best, her thoughts were always on the tip of her tongue and never written down unless guided by some magic fairy. She didn't know her place in this world, but there was some slight hope that she served a better purpose here than at home. Here, she allowed herself to become close to others. There was a near certainty that everyone would leave eventually, making it easy for Amie to let go. She could make friends, she could love silently, she could smile in their presence, and write of their existence when departed. But she was tired. Tired of not thinking clearly or at times, thinking a little too clearly. She wanted control, she wanted honesty, she wanted to be heard, to be felt. She wanted for someone to give a damn about her.

Amie had her father and there was no question she was not grateful for Duke. He didn't have to be there for her. He didn't have to take on the responsibility of her and her addiction. He was honest and Amie could not fault him for that. She loved her father, but her very own scientists reached out a helping hand.

With a promise to turn a stranger into someone worth getting to know, Amie packed what little belongings she had and walked her way over to Epsilon's house. Richard's house.

Amie didn't immediately search for her room. Instead, she set down her dufflebag of clothes and sat down at the piano in the parlor. Her fingertips ran over the ivory keys ever so gently, as if she were caressing an old lover. With a small smile, her fingers pressed down on the ivories, quietly playing a little melody.


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[info]willnotbeled
2013-06-27 05:36 am UTC (link)
Amie pushed through, not really following any preconceived notes in her head. It came naturally. Her head dipped a little lower, her hair covering both sides of her face as she lost herself in the melody. Blue eyes closed as she slowed the rhythm down, decrescendoing into its ending. With the last few keys pressed, she opened her eyes again and lifted her head slowly. Turning her head ever so slightly, she smiled at him, as if she had known he had been there the whole entire time.

She cared for him, that much was known. She had a tendency to get up and leave, not really taking into account of whom she might have hurt in the process. People had been coming and going her whole entire life that it had become easy to just simply slip away. "I'm sorry." She felt herself become too close, that she felt safer leaving.

Amie didn't want to go into explanations of her behavior but it all stemmed from the same common theme of drugs. She did, want to apologize, to acknowledge that she might have hurt him.

Turning around to face her friend, Amie chose the silent welcome. It could be read in her eyes and smile that she was glad to be back. "I made a promise this time that...I would try harder."

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[info]dearmoony
2013-06-27 06:05 am UTC (link)
Remus shifted, enough to make some noise with his feet and the rubbing of fabric. It felt as if he'd been caught spying, even if she didn't treat it that way. Letting his head fall at her apology, Remus gave a shrug out of her gaze. No, he couldn't completely understand what she was going through, but he understood struggle, and pain. Mistakes included. One screw up, even a thousand screw ups, might not mean it's time, or that it's okay at all, to give up on someone.

Easier said than done sometimes, of course.

"It's all right," he replied, smiling through the silence. "All you can do is try your best, I suppose. I think if you want it, it will happen." Though smile was traded in for a more serious expression, Remus' optimism only grew. But that was partially thanks to the compound, for showing him more than the desolate village at home. After a pause, he added, "I'm glad that you're here."

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[info]willnotbeled
2013-06-27 06:24 am UTC (link)
Amie felt she could read people pretty well. All it took were certain questions to trigger certain emotions that would tell the young woman everything she needed to know about a person. That wasn't the case with Remus. He was hard to read and settled on the fact that there might have not been too much to read at all. She knew very little about him, all except that he could write brilliantly and she found more comfort in the words he wrote than most could ever speak. He was a Remus, which mean he was a werewolf, and he had the scars to prove it. Amie knew he had endured pain without him having to say so, and with such little talk of him and his life, she had grown to care for the young man that he was and was evolving into. Amie didn't want to read Remus, she just wanted to know him.

Amie's mouth opened slightly to speak before stopping her words in her throat. Biting the back of her tongue, her lips closed on one another before giving a brief, apologetic smile. "I think I want it. I've never known happiness through sobriety so its worth a shot."

He was glad she was there and it only reaffirmed her decision was the good one. If it was right, only time would tell, but it was a good one. It was good because she felt the same exact way. "Me too." She wanted to tell him that she missed his writing, his findings of new authors and literature. She missed his calm and collected presence and his ways of always having one up on her sarcasms. He seemingly understood how she felt without saying he did. It was mutual.

And that is something I cannot say out loud.

"You can come sit over here if you want...unless...what ever you're about to read is best with a more forceful projection of voice."

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