Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Not today."

Username: 
Password:    
Remember Me
  • Create Account
  • IJ Login
  • OpenID Login
Search by : 
  • View
    • Create Account
    • IJ Login
    • OpenID Login
  • Journal
    • Post
    • Edit Entries
    • Customize Journal
    • Comment Settings
    • Recent Comments
    • Manage Tags
  • Account
    • Manage Account
    • Viewing Options
    • Manage Profile
    • Manage Notifications
    • Manage Pictures
    • Manage Schools
    • Account Status
  • Friends
    • Edit Friends
    • Edit Custom Groups
    • Friends Filter
    • Nudge Friends
    • Invite
    • Create RSS Feed
  • Asylums
    • Post
    • Asylum Invitations
    • Manage Asylums
    • Create Asylum
  • Site
    • Support
    • Upgrade Account
    • FAQs
    • Search By Location
    • Search By Interest
    • Search Randomly

_rebelrebel ([info]_rebelrebel) wrote in [info]flippedrpg,
@ 2013-05-11 23:42:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:ch: knap: james potter, ch: knap: sirius black, p: annalisa, p: veetee

Who: Sirius and JamesKnap
What: Future memory of them killing Bellatrix
When: Saturday evening
Where: Eventually James' room
Warnings: Violence



Days bled into weeks into months into ... not years. Not yet. Not again. Sirius blinked furtively as his bike sliced through the torrents of rain coming down. He was soaked to the bone already, denim and leather sticking thick and heavy to his skin. He could scarcely see anything around him, but he knew where he was anyway. Some part of him implicitly knew, could feel it in the pit of his stomach: back in London. They'd been everywhere else, so why not? France, Italy, any place their family owned land and property. They'd only danced around the coast of English soil though. But they were back now, and Sirius didn't need any hidden notes, any taunting threats, to tell him that this journey was leading them back to Grimmauld Place.

The ancestral Black family house, where they'd pretended to play family for all those years. But even, only one of them could really own it. Only one of them could decide the out come of the family. Continue to rot under Bellatrix or be exterminated under Sirius.

He landed and the instant he was on the stoop of Grimmauld Place, one of the runes on his left arm began to burn red hot. He slipped out his wand, holding it tightly in cold and wet fingers. He opened the front, listening to its creak echo throughout the mansion. It was odd being back here. The ghosts seemed to clutter it, too close to the surface. It looked just like how they had left it a year ago. Scattered glass here, open back there. But there was a thin layer of dust that lingered across everything.

He could hear the clink of a glass upstairs, light shining from his office. She didn't try to mask where she was. Sirius started up the stairs, each step practically a thunderclap. In the same regard, she had to know he was here. The door was open just a crack and Sirius rested a hand on it, pressing it open all the way. He caught only a glimpse of her, standing against his desk, glass of amber liquid in hand, before a searing curse caught him hard across the right side of his face. His cheek opened up as his hand snapped to the side, his blood spattering across the carpet.

He looked up -- she still just leaned against his desk -- and he shot out a flash of light. It missed her entirely and it careened into his bookcase instead. Something exploded, sending glass shrapnel slicing through the air. Bellatrix ducked and flitted toward him instantly, her dress a shadow of black surrounding her. The burning hex caught him on the left shoulder. He smelled his jacket burning, but ignored it, concentrating on maintaining his balance. He had been thrown to the side a bit. He pivoted and wound up with his wand dug into his cousin's ribs.

"Crucio," he hissed, watching as she collapsed in front of him, spasms racking her body from head to toe. He took half a step back and directed his wand at hers, catching it deftly in his free hand. She stared up at him from the floor, eyes glinting madness, teeth splashed with blood from where her lower lip had split. He stared right back at her, pointed his wand at her once again, and slashed her left cheek open, using the same curse she had used when he had entered the room.



(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]_rebelrebel
2013-05-12 05:09 am UTC (link)
"He sees you," Bellatrix hissed through closed teeth, looking directly up at him.

They were three simple words, but they were enough to make Sirius' heard go cold, because he understood exactly what she meant by them -- that James saw him for exactly what he was. And that, he guessed, was also part of the reason why he had run. Couldn't sit in that house and play pretend and make believe that everything was okay. That they were a family. That they had ever been a family. That Sirius' skin got too tight and he couldn't breathe, because he just --

Bella's right hand snatched forward, grabbing the back of his calf roughly. Sirius couldn't tell if she was trying to pull herself up or just pull him down. It didn't matter.

He ended up with one on the floor, their bodies suddenly too close together. She used her other hand to gouge her fingers into his already bleeding cheek. At the same time, Sirius dug his wand into her throat.

"Crucio," he snapped out again, able to feel the magic burning along his arm, the runes doing the work they were always intended to -- even if for the wrong person. Bella convulsed beneath him. He could see her eyes roll back into her head for a moment. Her chest went so tight she couldn't breathe for a moment and when she began to pant, drawing in ragged little breaths, he couldn't tell if she was laughing or crying.

"Not such a Gryffindor," she said in between breaths, head tilted back. "I win."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]staghearted
2013-05-12 05:26 am UTC (link)
James knew there were many layers to what was going on between the two fighting in front of him, and that he could not even begin to comprehend all of it. He didn't know Bellatrix well, but he knew Sirius, even now that he was older and had been through things that had changed him irrevocably, broken him-- though not irreparably. James refused to believe that.

His eyes narrowed at the taunt. Whatever else it meant, it seemed that Bellatrix felt that his presence here-- his witnessing this moment-- was some sort of victory. But it wasn't. This was Sirius's moment, his chance at revenge, to take back what had been taken from him.

"Shut your mouth, bitch," he said, more coolly than he felt. Inside he was a mess of multiple emotions, but his instinct was clear: his job here was to back Sirius's play. He wasn't going to leave, but neither was he going to let his presence ruin anything. "I'm here to watch you lose."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]_rebelrebel
2013-05-12 05:40 am UTC (link)
Sirius saw Bella's eyes flit toward James when he spoke -- the first words he'd said since coming into the house. He didn't look over though. He didn't tell James to leave again although he wanted to. He didn't have time. Didn't have -- It wasn't --

"Avada Kedavra," Sirius said, his rough coming out rougher than he had expected. He felt the spell build along his arm, felt the runes on both his arms and his collarbone burn so fiercely that the sensation nearly blinded him for a moment. Green light exploded from the tip of his wand and hit Bellatrix's throat immediately. Her pulse flickered out, head turning to the side. Her hand fell from his face, fingers sliding down to where the tattoos strung just below his own throat were. He stared down at her.

It wasn't enough --

He turned and half fell onto the floor next to her, sitting in front of his desk, back pressed against it. He dropped Bellatrix's wind from where he had still been holding it and it clattered to the floor.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]staghearted
2013-05-12 05:52 am UTC (link)
Dead. She was dead.

James saw the magic hit her, and the life leave her body. It wasn't nearly as disturbing as he'd expected, perhaps in part because it still felt a little bit surreal. The idea of her being gone, the threat lifted from their lives. It wasn't as satisfying as it should have been, mainly because Sirius was still distraught.

He stepped forward, aware that he might be provoking any lingering anger that Sirius still held towards him, and not particularly caring. Awful as this moment was, they were in it together. That was better, wasn't it? Better than letting Sirius go through it alone. "Alright?" he asked, ignoring the instinct to add on Sirius's nickname, because Sirius had asked him not to call him Pads. He could see blood on Sirius's face and hands, but he couldn't tell how much of it was his and how much was Bella's. In his opinion, the only way that she would win was if she'd managed to hurt Sirius enough for him to be truly lost, and he wasn't going to let that happen. Taking another step into the room, he clarified, "Are you injured?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]_rebelrebel
2013-05-12 05:58 am UTC (link)
"Fine," Sirius answered instinctively when James asked him if he was alright. It was still odd that James was here -- that after everything, months and months of constant dueling and the back-and-forth, James had still managed to be here at the end.

He didn't know if he had planned to come back after it was done. Now, he realized that he didn't really have a plan for what was going to happen. There was nothing to chase, no one to follow. The Lestrange brothers were still out there somewhere. Rodolphus. But they seemed a hollow second now that Bellatrix had been taken down. The urge to chase them down was already dying out. But, did that mean going back with James and Lily and Remus? Some part of him balked at the notion. At being around Remus' relative silence and James' perpetual understanding and Lily's quiet reassurance when all he wanted to do was scream himself hoarse.

He didn't look toward James, pointedly didn't make eye contact, but let his vision fixate somewhere on the opposite wall. He didn't look at anything. Neither did he answer when James asked him if he was injured. Not really. Nothing permanent, nothing that was truly damaging.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]staghearted
2013-05-12 06:12 am UTC (link)
Sirius was pointedly not focusing on him, but James's attention was all on Sirius, ignoring the body on the floor. Bellatrix was of no importance to him. He moved closer to his friend, close enough to make his own visual assessment of Sirius's wounds. Nothing fatal, thank Godric. He felt a little bit of relief at that, and a little bit of tension-- borne of the fear for Sirius' life-- eased from his body. That was the real reason he'd stayed, because he never would have forgiven himself for leaving if Sirius had lost without him there to back him up.

He didn't know what to say next. Words almost felt inappropriate; he didn't want to interfere with whatever Sirius was trying to get out of this moment, at least not any more than he already had. But he also felt that he should be reassuring his friend, pulling out the barb that Bellatrix had gotten in with her last words.
He sees you.

"What next?" he asked quietly, after a moment of silence. If Sirius told him to leave again, he supposed he might, though he didn't want to. But whatever happened next, it was still Sirius's call. That much, he knew for certain.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]_rebelrebel
2013-05-12 06:24 am UTC (link)
"I don't know," Sirius admitted, his voice faint. What there anything that was next after this? His brain felt like it had stalled out. He couldn't think past this moment at all. He couldn't even imagine getting up off the floor. Cleaning himself up.

Was there anything past this for him? Everything had led up to killing James and Remus -- only to find out that there was no reason. And so it had been easy to simply shift targets. To go after Bellatrix. And that had been so absorbing when she knew everything he could do. When she knew the way he thought, the he was likely to react. Why now, he kept wondering. What was it about this time, this place, that had made her decide that it was time for them to bring everything to a close.

He pressed one of his hands against his forehead and shut his eyes, able to feel his blood, sticky and warm, leaking across his palm.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]staghearted
2013-05-12 06:36 am UTC (link)
James felt a million things at the moment, but most of all, now that the worry had worn off, he was exceptionally glad just to see Sirius. He had known, with every day that passed with them being missing, that he might find his loved ones in a terrible state. That had turned out to be more true than he had ever imagined, but he had been right to think that he would still want them back, no matter how bad it was. Sirius was a mess, bloodied and violent and broken, but all he wanted to do was hug his best mate tightly and never let him go.

Instead, he sat down next to him, his side pressing (reassuringly, he hoped) against Sirius's, their elbows and shoulders and knees lined up in the way that they had been on multiple occasions before. Patiently, he said, "Let me know when you figure it out, then."

He was quiet for a while, companionably. After a little while, though, a thought came to him, and he voiced it. "She hasn't won, you know."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]_rebelrebel
2013-05-12 06:48 am UTC (link)
It shouldn't have come as a surprise when James sat down next to him; they had always been so close before, hadn't they? It send something of an odd shock through half his body when James pressed against him. His throat tightened and his temples began to ache.

He couldn't bear the next words --

"James," he said hoarsely.


Sirius woke up with a gasp, staring right up in bed. He was drenched with sweat, his T-shirt sticking to the back of his shirt, his legs tangled in the blankets. He'd had enough memories return or been gifted from the scientists to know that that wasn't any dream. That was something that was going to happen. He was going to kill Bellatrix. The thought didn't bring him as much relish as it should have, because he was too stuck on the way that James' voice had sounded at the end. He needed James.

He pushed himself out of bed and went into the hallway without thinking it. It was easy enough for him to get into James' room and then right into the bedroom. He knew Lily would forgive him if he woke her up. He moved to James' side of the bed and almost instantly buried his face against James' neck.

"Jamie," Sirius whispered.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]staghearted
2013-05-12 07:05 am UTC (link)
The hoarse sound of Sirius's voice saying his name tore at James's heart. He shifted and wrapped his arms around his best friend, not caring about the blood, not caring about anything else except that he was here. Maybe not back for good, but here, at least for the moment. His simple presence-- well, that and the fact that he accepted James's presence here at all-- mattered more to James than anything else in the world just then.

And then he woke as well, on his back and staring up into the darkness. Lily was beside him, but he didn't seem to have woken her with the dream. He lay there quietly for a few moments, catching his breath. And then...

His heartbeat obscured the sound of the unit door opening, but he heard familiar footsteps approaching the bedroom door, and the sound of the door opening. He didn't move, but a rush of relief went through him, even as he wondered how Sirius had known that he would be wanted here right at this moment. A moment later, it occurred to him that they might have both had the same dream, the same future memory given to them. Or maybe Sirius's dream had been different.

There was one thing he knew without needing to be told; something similar had just happened to Sirius, that had made him want James's company in the same way that James wanted his. Wide awake, his arms went instantly around his best mate, one hand tangling in Sirius's slightly damp hair, the other around his middle to hold him tight. Quietly, muffled by his mouth pressing against Sirius's temple, he responded, "Hey, Pads."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]_rebelrebel
2013-05-12 07:18 am UTC (link)
Sirius shut his eyes when James wrapped his arms around him in return. He just wanted to hide against James for a little bit. It was such a strange contrast against what he'd been feeling in the memory -- so different that it practically hurry.

It tore at him to know that killing Bellatrix did so little. That he spent so much time to just get there, and he hadn't been able to look James in the eye, It terrified him to think of how long it was going to take to get out from underneath her grasp. When he went back, it would be years and years before he was free. He was going to get worse before he got better. And James saw him kill -- James saw him --

"I can't go back," Sirius said, his voice muffled by James' shoulder. That was what he had been trying to tell Moony the other day. He couldn't go back to that, couldn't back to that house, couldn't go back to her, couldn't back to those false beliefs. To the self that was waiting for him.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]staghearted
2013-05-12 07:35 am UTC (link)
James understood the feeling. He didn't much like the idea of going back either; he had learned from being here that there was a light at the end of the tunnel, but there were also years and years before he would reach it. Even in the memory they hadn't reached it, not truly. It would be harder, much harder, to go through all that at home. And even here, he'd come close to breaking.

Yet, he also knew from the memory that he wasn't going to break there, either. Maybe there was something more satisfying and strengthening to actually finding them himself, rather than having that part solved by the scientists. He still wondered exactly how that had happened, but wasn't inclined to go home to find out. Sirius and Lily shouldn't have to go back to endure the rest of their time with the Lestranges, and Sirius didn't deserve to go through whatever torment he had been enduring. Here in the compound, James felt that he understood it better; Sirius had been afraid of James seeing his dark side and being repulsed by it.

Well, he'd seen it. There had been a part of him that was horrified, but it was all on Sirius's behalf. That he'd been pushed to that point, where he felt that much violent rage, especially since it obviously hadn't been fully satisfied. He knew, too, that Sirius would still be alright-- that it would work out in the end. He'd have known that now even if he hadn't known it before tonight. Surely there wasn't much worse he could see than Sirius killing his cousin; surely after that, Sirius would come to the same realization he'd had here, that their friendship was not that fragile.

And just as he had in the dream, he was willing yet again to let Sirius call the shots: to let him make the decisions that were best for him. He doubted that Lily would want to go back either; he doubted that any of them truly wanted to go back, though he'd have liked a better alternative than this compound. Still, it was by far the better place for all of them. Still whispering, he responded, "Then let's not."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]_rebelrebel
2013-05-12 07:51 am UTC (link)
"What?" Sirius asked in obvious surprise when James announced that they just shouldn't go back then. He kept close, but pulled back just enough so that he could see James' face in the relative darkness of the room.

He didn't what he was expecting, he supposed. But Remus had seemed so fine with the notion of going back; he had said, though, it was because he was close to the end. They would be found soon. For Remus, most of the worst was over. He had time with their daughter to look forward to. And maybe that was why it was so hard. Because he had to knowingly go back to what he feared the most -- and go through it for an eternity -- to even stand a chance of being able to meet his daughter one day.

It was hard. Because most days he was just excited to know she was in their future. But there were days (mostly nights, and they were mostly nights like this one) where he couldn't imagine ever showing his face to Cici, of ever even pretending that he was wholly a good man.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]staghearted
2013-05-13 05:06 am UTC (link)
James had misread something, he felt; maybe a part of him was still stuck in the dream, where Sirius was an enigma to him. Or maybe it was simply too late at night, his mind still sluggish with sleep, though he felt awake. Maybe he hadn't actually been saying that he didn't really want to go back. He'd said can't, not won't; there was a difference there. Silently, he organized his thoughts.

"I'm going wherever you go, Pads," he said quietly. "You and Lily and Harry and Johnny and Moony. If you want to stay here, or go somewhere else, but never go back, I'm coming with you. I'm home wherever all of you are."

The hardest part, he felt, was that not everyone might feel the way Sirius did. He imagined Lily would understand, might choose to stay. Remus, he wasn't sure, though Remus had stuck by him through everything and James couldn't imagine that his old friend would desert him. Then again, he had a daughter at home to look forward to, who might not come back here again; James wouldn't be able to argue with Remus choosing his child over him.

Still, what he'd said was true. He was home wherever his family was, and wherever they went, he'd follow. He'd spent years doing just that to put them back together again, and he wasn't going to let it all go so easily now that he had it again. Whether they were here or somewhere else, that was what mattered.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


(Read comments) -


Home | Site Map | Manage Account | TOS | Privacy | Support | FAQs