InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "You taught him well..."

melinda harper isn't much of a lady (inelegant) wrote in flippedrpg,
@ 2013-03-17 03:36:00

Entry tags:

ch: xbwl: marek bobbin, ch: xbwl: melinda bobbin, p: annalisa, p: carley

Who: Melinda Harper and Marek Bobbin
Where: their unit in Zeta, in the pillow fort. Tis an epic pillow fort.
When: late evening, several hours after the flip
What: talking, getting out all those feelings
Warnings: feelings

"It was like..." Melinda sighed, trying to think how to put it. "I mean, I definitely knew who you were. You registered as my twin, but when I wasn't directly faced with your existence there was no...suggestion of you being there."

She was laying facedown in a pile of pillows, snuggled warmly in another pile of blankets with Oliver tucked securely under her arm. Marek was close enough that she could feel him there without having to reach out and touch him, although she occasionally did anyway, laying a hand on his arm or leg or back, or grabbing his hand and holding it for awhile with the arm that wasn't holding her teddy bear. The pillows muffled her voice, but the normally-quiet Melinda had been all but silent with the cure, and she needed to talk for awhile. It was funny; six months ago she had hated feelings, such a situation as this right now would have been absolutely appalling. She still didn't like or especially trust feelings, and liked to pretend or wish she didn't have any, but have them she definitely did, and after spending so long unable to have them, this was needed. Running around and screaming had done enough to make her coherent, at least.

"I don't know," she said. Her voice might be muffled, but she was confident Marek could understand her. "I mean, I keep wanting to say the real me was trying to get out, but she wasn't. She couldn't. There was no way to try." She turned her head so she could breathe and was less muffled, because the oxygen part had been getting difficult. "Basically like she was in a very thick lead box. She was there, and I was aware of something there, but anything she was trying to do had literally zero effect on the outside world. Outside world being my mind in this case, I guess."

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inelegant
2013-03-20 05:07 am UTC (link)

"Yeah." Melinda nodded. "I didn't really know what it was. You hurt your arm, yeah? And your head. My arm started hurting and I got a headache, and I felt sort of upset but I think I just decided it was because I was in pain and didn't know why and didn't really worry about feeling upset. I mean, as upset as you could ever feel with that...cure." She gave a powerful shudder and snuggled down further into the blankets and closer against Marek. The cure was a bone-deep kind of horror, a primal fear for her. The inability to feel. She might not like feelings, but what was she without them? Melinda had enough self-awareness to know she was pretty much a hurricane of emotions, with some hormones and opinions tossed in. Without all that, she was just...nothing.

A hand snaked out, grabbing Marek's again.

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ex_intoxican930
2013-03-20 05:56 am UTC (link)

That made Marek smile slightly, and he nodded in answer to her question. Pain wasn't exactly emotion, that was probably why it had been transmitted more easily than anything else. It was still bothersome that she hadn't realized why, but at least the connection had been there. That was far better than nothing at all.

He twined his fingers around hers and shifted to get more comfortable against her side, feeling closer to content than he'd been in a while. He felt her horror, too, but just the fact that he could feel it was a relief, so it was difficult to be bothered by it at all. Absently, rather than speak again, he pinched the skin on the back of her hand, as if to remind them both of her own reality.

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	inelegant 2013-03-20 06:32 am UTC (link)
	Melinda sighed, closing her eyes, and squeezed his hand a little when he pinched. It was comforting. Marek kept poking and pinching at her like he wanted to be sure she was real and it was comforting. Slightly annoying, yes, but being annoyed was even more comforting right now. It reassured her that she was alive and present and feeling. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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