InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "The spork is a lie!"

ε Captain Epsilon (captainepsilon) wrote in flippedrpg,
@ 2013-02-02 12:10:00

Entry tags:

ch: div: lily evans, ch: sci: captain epsilon, p: emmy, p: silyara

Who: Captain Epsilon and Lily Evans^div
When: Friday, late evening
Where: Epsilon's Office
What: Lily preparing to leave
Warning: Mmm, TBD

He was expecting her any day now. Lily wanted to vacate the Compound and return to her home. She had made as much clear by her continued questions in the preceding weeks. The decision, for some, was more difficult than it was for others. Some just could not find roots. Without a sense of belonging, the Compound could be too difficult to manage inside. And there always came a point when they were no longer giving new data because they were unhappy. Others were able to form roots and did not seem to want to leave. Many of those in his block belonged to this category. Discussion of whether or not they had too, when this was all said and done, was a popular topic. Occasionally, it was brought to him, but more often than not he witnessed it through their writing. He witnessed quite a lot through their own written narrative. Lily belonged to a third category. The category of those who had roots and connections but could not bear to be away from their known world for much longer. Or, so he believed.

He had no intention of suggesting to Alpha she be sent home before she was ready. Of course, Alpha could very well have done so, as he did what he pleased often. Luckily, he had yet to do so, and Lily was being given the time she needed to say her peace. It was of particular interest to Epsilon on how she went about saying her goodbyes as he found it highly fascinating.

Any day now, she would make the final step and come to him. He knew it. And he had no intention of rushing her. As he sat in his office, casting an idle glance off towards his separate unit where he believed Remus was still inside, he turned back to his notepad, scratching a few more idle plans upon the surface.

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captainepsilon
2013-02-04 06:09 am UTC (link)

He kept his arms crossed over his chest as his head turned lightly to the side when she began to speak. Her words did not shock him. They all nearly fell into line with his suspicions. He gave the lightest smile when she spoke her hopes, especially the last one. It fell in line with how he viewed her, her beliefs, and her entire world, really.

"I hope that those dreams come to pass," he finally commented, after he let her words hang in the air, arms unraveling, to press his hands back behind him on the desk. "I have no doubt that you will succeed."

He glanced down for a moment, as he tried to grasp out for other questions he wished to know, trying to prioritize them in his mind. "Is there any final questions you have for me?" He asked in the mean time/

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gunsnlily
2013-02-04 06:20 am UTC (link)

It had come down, simply enough. Lily wasn't ashamed of that. She knew her faction. Her life wasn't likely to end when she had rickety bones and a frail body because she wasn't going to live like that. She pushed and pushed herself. Hell, she lived longer than plenty of versions of her, already. Long lives were overrated. Or rather, they weren't worth anything.

"Fear doesn't get the last word," Lily commented. That said plenty. Hell she'd heard what Erudite made her faction do. She knew she was returning to possibly see herself kill innocent people. That wasn't the end though, and that fear of hers coming true wasn't making her run away. That wasn't who she was.

Her arms uncrossed as she stood a little straighter. He didn't look like this was all over, but she could ask him well enough now then. "I've gone through my things, decided who I want them to go to. Can you see that gets done? I've labelled everything, got a list too," Lily asked. She'd go, if he could do that or not. She preferred to know she was leaving people some things that might help them. For however long or short they were here too.

"For starters."

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captainepsilon
2013-02-04 06:34 am UTC (link)

"Or it shouldn't," he commented back. Sometimes it did. It never should be the final word and on that he agreed with Lily.

"I will be certain to distribute your belongings as you have requested. I know how much you care for some of those who will remain here," he then promised. He would pass them out as Lily wished. He doubted any Scientist would object. If they did, well, then he would have tried.

"The list is in your quarters, then?"

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gunsnlily
2013-02-04 06:41 am UTC (link)

It certainly shouldn't. For those that were truly Dauntless, it didn't. They'd get tested, but Lily had faith in her faction. Honestly, she did.

She nodded, glad for that. She slipped out her journal from a place along her belt and pulled out the first folded piece of paper. Keeping it folded, Lily handed it over. "I made copies, in case something happened," Lily replied. "The names are on everything in my quarters as well. Shouldn't be any doubts who I mean and what." She wasn't giving any excuses for a mistake on that. There'd be no way to hold him to it once she was gone. But hey, that's the best she could do.

"I've been here seven months," Lily kept track of time, whether it had meaning here or not, "You got a name to say goodbye too, R? Or should I stick with initials?"

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captainepsilon
2013-02-04 06:54 am UTC (link)

He reached out and took the folded piece of paper from her. He unfolded it for a moment, looked upon the listing of names, glanced upwards at her, before looking down upon it once again. He gave another saddened smile before he folded it and placed it in the pocket of his trousers, slipping his hand inside the pocket to hold the note between his finger tips for safe keeping.

He then gave a slight laugh. With one deep breath, he held his out, as if in greeting. "Lily, my name is Richard."

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gunsnlily
2013-02-04 07:01 am UTC (link)

She wasn't agonizing. It wasn't exactly happy times, saying goodbye to everyone, deciding where things went, like she'd gone and died or something similar. But it was what it was. No self-pity. No hesitation any more. The ways no one looked quite happy when they smiled was just a part of it. She wasn't done saying goodbye to him just yet though.

It sounded so normal. It was possibly like a Erudite name, maybe, more than any other faction. But he didn't come from a faction. "Pleased to finally meet you, Richard," Lily smiled, honestly and happily. There'd always been a wall, however often they'd climbed up it and sat on top. "Don't let yourself get too lonely. It's not good for you."

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captainepsilon
2013-02-04 07:08 am UTC (link)

"And you," he responded and he coupled it with as best of a smile as he could, He was often quite lonely and some of his Taken were quite like friends. He viewed her as one. He glanced down for a moment, before rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yes, well, eventually I will go home too," he reminded her, though he didn't stop to analyze how that wouldn't change what they both knew. What many knew. Epsilon favored the lonely, as he was lonely just the same.

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gunsnlily
2013-02-04 07:16 am UTC (link)

She looked at him quite intensely. There wasn't going to be another chance to be straight with him. Some things were all too damn obvious, and maybe he didn't like hearing them, but lying to himself wasn't any help. Eh, maybe Em and Doc had rubbed off on her too much. "And maybe you'll be even lonelier then," Lily pointed out. She sighed, "I doubt you came here because you weren't lonely there. I know you have to keep the walls up here. There are rules. It's science. And whatever it's for is worth it to you, but you only got one life, Richard. Don't spend it alone." She didn't mean romance. She meant people, friends, family, whoever it was that was important to him.

"Try your fear landscape," she added, "Maybe it's something you do once. Maybe it's something that helps you like it helps me."

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captainepsilon
2013-02-06 05:09 am UTC (link)

"Maybe, maybe not. I don't glance into my own future," he said with an attempted cheeky grin but it fell flat. The truth was that she was quite right. He was likely going to feel as he did now once this was all over and done with. Possibly worse. But he would have the knowledge that they had achieved their goal.

Or so was his hope.

He shook his head then. "Of course not, I promise," he then said. He wouldn't likely be alone, even if she did not know. He had family to fall back on. Well, some family at least.

"Aye, aye," he agreed. He didn't believe that to be too horrible of a suggestion.

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gunsnlily
2013-02-06 05:26 am UTC (link)

Her face just looked back at him. Lily had as much a sense of humor, if not more, than anyone else. But she'd heard enough comic retorts to bite through the bullshit thrown her way. Possibly, that also had to do with growing up in Amity. Even those who transferred out of Candor were much crappier liars than everyone else. Everything here gave her little context to judge the honesty of his statement's implications. But she took his future happiness as dependent upon his choices, not sealed for him, whatever he did. Her faith in it was based on faith in him.

"Don't make them hate you any more than you need to," Lily told him. Her back stood straight, not leaning against anything. But it wasn't all about advice and telling him what to do. She pulled out another sheet of paper and handed it over to him. "Made you something on the off-chance you weren't watching me draw at the time," she smiled. It was also on the list she'd handed over. Perhaps it wasn't a surprise, if he'd looked under his name, but it was still a gift.

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captainepsilon
2013-02-08 03:09 am UTC (link)

He just gave a subtle nod. He had been learning that lesson since the first few days. His most monumental mistake, in his own opinion, pertained to Mr. Lupin, and repercussions that came along with that event. He had been trying his best to be less stern, to be more himself than his service background would have liked, to be more gentle. Some still disliked him though not all. He made a mental note to himself to give an olive branch out to the young Mrs. Weasley. She was not keen on him it seemed.

He pushed himself from his desk and reached out for the sheet of paper. Though he had looked upon the list, he hadn't focused on his own name. He had focused on the others. An immediate burst of a true smile came forth. It was a surprise.

"Thank you, Lily," he said after a moment, his eyes moving up to look at her.

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gunsnlily
2013-02-08 03:20 am UTC (link)

Most of her time had been spent using up her arts supplies, to leave something for her children, something she had made, memories and memories of memories. Perhaps it was selfish, in a way, to leave her mark behind. But she'd never been made of Abnegation stuff. Not looking at mirrors, dull grey clothes, the organization of their lives, it wasn't something she was suited for. As much as they were made fun of, Lily respected what they aimed for, what good they did for society as a whole.

Still, she had stolen a few moments to make Epsilon this sketch, something he could keep as long as he wished. Possibly beyond these walls, possibly not. Lily didn't know about that sort of policy. His books had come here, but that wasn't the same as letting something out, even as small as an inked sketch. "You're welcome, Richard," Lily chose to use his real name, as opposed to the title he took. "You remind me of James sometimes," Lily admitted. She'd never felt anything but friendship (on the positive end, anyway) for the captain, but there were some similarities.

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