InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Just...go slow, okay?"

_rebelrebel (_rebelrebel) wrote in flippedrpg,
@ 2012-08-10 21:05:00

Entry tags:

ch: knap: james potter, ch: knap: sirius black, p: annalisa, p: veetee

Who: Sirius^Knap and James^Knap
What: Working on Sirius' memory
When: Aug. 10
Where: His current living location
Warnings: Angst?

The emotions were what was hardest to deal with when the memory had resurfaced. Because, at the beginning of it, there had been that rush of exhilaration that had always come with being Padfoot. And he had certainly forgotten what that felt like. To have the sensation of his paws pounding against wet earth, legs straining forward. Able to race through the darkness of night. That fierce need to protect paired with the persistent urge to just be free.

And that had been the easiest part of that memory; it had been what followed, the laughter as he turned back into boy, more gangly limbs than he was now. Mud streaked across his torso as he wrestled James to the ground, and then the careful tending of any small scratches Remus would have picked up. They had all sprawled across the floor then -- and the memory still wasn't clear enough that Sirius could hear anything they were saying. But he could everything, deep in his chest. That contentment that came with being near them, a fierce hunger for the onslaught of life before them. A love, so bracing, that it was almost frightening to him when he became aware of himself again.

He was still scared to try and reclaim those memories, to tamper any further with whatever had broken in his head. But he was no longer okay with leaving it alone. It was his mind. And he had a right to know who he was -- what things he had felt. He seemed incomplete without them now, a mere shadow.

He knew he couldn't keep pingponging between being wary of James, but still trying to be around him. It was time to make a decision, one way or the other. So he decided that he was going to try and work with James. Tamp down any part of him that was still crying out in warning.

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_rebelrebel
2012-08-13 03:49 am UTC (link)

Sirius could feel James beginning to slink inside his brain again. A wave of trepidation swelled inside him once again, but he had little time worry over his nerves. He felt James begin to pry at something -- and suddenly, he was gone, submerged in another memory.

He was in his room at Grimmauld Place -- his room when he had been growing up. Before Lily and he had gotten around to cleaning it up, clearly. He was holding something in his hands, and it took him a moment to -- just to focus. He knew that there was something there, but it was like he couldn't see it for a minute. They were pictures. Three of them. One of Lily and James holding a baby, a tiny fist swinging about in the air. The second was of him and Remus, neither of them facing the camera; Sirius working on the bike and smoking while Remus looked on. And the last one was of Sirius holding the baby from the first picture while he sat on the bike.

They were each well-folded, as if they had been kept somewhere for a long time. The back of a pocket, or the inside of a wallet. There was a box at his feet, and Sirius didn't need to touch it to know that it was heavily warded, magic lacing the outside of the box. Something in his brain jammed.

There was a thudding behind him, and he looked up to see Bellatrix standing over him.

"What are these?" he demanded, clambering to his feet, feeling distinctly unsteady. Bellatrix looked at him for just a minute, and there was something steely in his gaze. Something he knew well enough to be wary of.

"Imperio!"

Sirius snapped back, away from James, pain flashing through his mind for the first time as he tried to remember how to breathe. His heart was pounding in his ears.

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