It's predominately all about being busy. With work. With friends. With charity functions. With whatever is a viable thing to be busy with. Occasionally, you'll have to show up or the "being busy" excuse will start to fade as a viable reason that you cannot attend a family function. And don't say you've got work or something important sounding just to wind up at the pub. One way or another, that will get back to them and bite you in the ass.