Percy/Oliver
All right, we can compromise - if you can't laugh it off, then at least answer everything with a "no comment" both in the journals and in person - you say the writer thinks they can get away with it, I say the writer is trying to see what buttons they can press to create a reaction that will get them further celebrity by writing about you, and the more you react, the more they have to write about. When you act indignant, they know where the chink in your armour lies and can then keep at it, knowing exactly where to target their attacks. Think of it like the hoops - once you have shown you're weak at protecting one hoop, the chasers will target it.
I know you wouldn't, Oliver, I was being sarcastic. I do that on occasion, you know. And I don't believe you're thick - you are, however, overly emotional at times and that has the ability to blind one-self to reason - and in that, you're in good company as it happens to us all.