Ophelia Sinclair (opheliasinclair) wrote in fallschurchic, @ 2014-03-22 21:37:00 |
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Entry tags: | grady callaghan, ophelia sinclair |
Who: Grady Callaghan and Ophelia Sinclair
What: Ophelia brings over food because she’s concerned
When: March 21, 2014
Where: Grady's dorm
Warnings: Small reference to prior abuse
Status: Complete
Not that she had not been doing so the entire week, but Ophelia had packed together a bag of freshly-made food again and was heading to Grady’s. His initial response to her indicated that he had not had a good auction week, and she had been mentally reprimanding herself for not concerning herself with him since that point. After all, he was her friend too and she knew that he did not have someone to look out for him as Laertes and some of her other friends did. Spending as much as she had on one boy that she had not even spoken to seemed wasteful when she considered that she could have kept tabs on Grady easily enough too, though she guessed in a way it was for the best, since Diaz had really needed the access to his zeta.
Slinging her backpack on her back, she began the trek from her dorms to the dorm she knew Grady kept, a pleased look on her face as she could feel the warmth of the soup she had made still seeping through the container she had settled it in. That, along with a half-lasagna she had made up and freshly baked cookies took up the space that would normally be filled with sketchbooks and things of that sort, but she was not all too worried about that. She could draw things later, when she got home, and for now she was just concerned about making sure he was still getting by. Even if he had growled at her pretty much every time she had gone to check up on him.
Grady was in his dorm. He knew he could, should be heading off campus but he was tired and stopped by for a nap. Not that he could sleep. Five days free and he was still dealing with aches and pains. At least his ass wasn’t constantly hurting and his throat wasn’t burning anymore. His mood was still foul and he felt bad for Persephone. She didn’t need to worry about him. She had the sense to get away. He clearly didn’t and now he was paying for it. All because he wanted the best tools for his career choice. All because he was a zeta. All because someone saw him fit to abuse. Again. Because someone looked at him and thought he was abusable. It was the story of his life. He was abusable, apparently. Grady heard the knock and growled. He wasn’t getting dressed. He was in a loose pair of shorts and he wasn’t going to get dressed to put pressure on the healing welts. Fuck whoever was there. He opened the door, holding a mighty glare and demanded, “What?”
Ophelia shrugged the bag from her shoulders and opened it, holding it out to him with another half-shrug. She was pretty sure from the way she had been the whole week, bringing small things for him, he would comprehend that he was supposed to take the bag, same as each other day. Today’s meal was a bit heartier than those in the past, Fridays were easier days for her and so she tended to be able to do more. Her eyes raised to meet his for just a second before dropping back down. She did not speak, she had not spoken all week to him, knowing that he did not need to hear whatever was in her head. She just wanted to be sure he was well-fed and not completely unsupervised. Not that she could do much, but she felt he needed to know he was cared for, angry or no.
Grady immediately felt bad. Ophelia had been coming all week with food and being a comfort. She didn’t deserve his attitude, especially the first few days when he was immediately distrustful of any Alpha, friend or not. He knew Ophelia was friend. He accepted the bag of food with a thank you. His voice was not as raspy as it was on Monday. He was healing. He turned to go back into the dorm, knowing she would see the fading welts on his back. She would have seen them before. He took a seat and took out the food. As before, it looked amazing.
“Do you want some?” Grady asked, knowing she would stay, “Or something to drink?” He was trying to keep the growls away for now.
A tiny frown curved her lips, as it did each time she saw the welts, and she dug into one of her pockets to pull out a small tube of salve, something she kept planning to grab and failing to do. While he was almost healed, from what she had seen, the arnica gel she had hunted up seemed to be the most commonly recommended treatment for something of this sort. She tapped it lightly and then gestured to his back, ignoring the question about food and drink. She had already eaten back at home and had left some out in case her brother stopped by as well, so she didn’t have the need for food at the moment. She would wait on a reply for her ‘offer’ before she seated herself, since obviously there was no sense in her sitting if she was to just get back up to put the salve on his back.
Grady felt bad that Ophelia probably wasn’t talking because of his mood. He saw the salve. He had some, given to him by Lucy, and had taken to cold showers for the week. Both sort of helped. The pain hurt more inside, the fact that he had been used and abused enough to need to be taken care of. His fists clenched at the thought. Abusable Grady, apparently. He got up and put the food aside. He wasn’t going to be able to stomach it while he kept thinking like that.
He saw her offer her the salve and he took a seat. He shifted so the weight was off his ass and said, “I’m sorry, Ophelia that I’ve been a bastard this week. You can talk, okay? I won’t bite you.
Ophelia moved to seat herself by his side, shrugging a tiny bit. She was well aware that she could talk, she trusted him well enough for that. But was there really much to say with everything that had happened? Most of what had happened had been preventable from her perspective, and she should have done more, in her mind, to make it not happen. Her eyes moved to meet his and she offered a small smile, shaking her head and softly patting what she knew to be an uninjured spot.
“You….have had reason.” She was more worried that he was obviously torn up by all of this and it felt like he needed to talk more than she did, especially since most of what she would say would involve the next auction and how she had already settled it in her head to make sure this did not happen again.
“Not towards you,” Grady said. He closed his eyes. He wasn’t tired but it just kept his attention from how uncomfortable he was, “I know you’re safe.” It was true. He was safe with Ophelia. He was safe with Ophelia and Lucy and Sera. There were some people he could trust here. He needed to remember that.
“Doesn’t mean you have to be happy…” Ophelia shrugged slightly and absently began to toy with the ends of her hair. His behavior had not bothered her, not really, and while she guessed that some could think that her refusal to talk this week was because of it, that was actually far from the truth. Sometimes it was shyness that stopped her tongue, but she felt like there was nothing that needed to be said aside from what was indicated by her actions. She had learned in her life that sometimes words were pointless and she understood that just quietly being there for someone sometimes was what was needed. At least in her experience.
“Doesn’t mean I have to be an asshole to you,” Grady countered, “Especially after you brought me food and stuff this week.” He’s been an ass to Persephone too. He was just grumpy and he pulled away from touch. He knew she understood. He was in pain. He barely slept. He couldn’t remember when he had a good night sleep. Well, parts of Monday but that was a lot drug induced, “I’m sorry.”
Ophelia waved somewhat dismissively at his apology and shook her head. “It’s nothing. You’re my friend. Had a bad week. I’ve had them too…” Though normally hers were weeks where she just hid herself away and pretended to be fine. Laertes knew generally what she was doing, but she didn’t tend to let herself be noticed enough to let on to other people. “Do you need anything at all? I mean, food’s useful and all, but...yea.”
“I’m not allowed to punch him,” Grady said, his voice and look dark. He wanted nothing more than to beat the shit out of Blynn. He shifted uncomfortably. He was also not allowed to shot him and he had a gun somewhere too. Grady breathed out, trying to keep himself calm.
“No, I’m fine,” he replied.
“Allowed?” Ophelia quirked an eyebrow slightly and shrugged one shoulder. She was not one for rules when it came to people being hurt, though she knew that it would be unwise for Grady to do something like that. “I don’t want this happening again. People here nauseate me. It’s disgusting. Next time it’s not happening, Grady.” Her voice was firm on this. She would make sure that her friends were safe, as many of them as she could. Well, three. But that was what she could do. She knew Laertes would be protected by Sevastyan, and so she could focus on other people. Small sacrifices on her part would allow for that, she knew it, and she would make sure Grady did not come back home this damaged again.
“You can’t stop it,” Grady said, “I’ve always drawn the psychopaths while I’m here. The longer I’m here, the worse they get. I thought it was horrible when my friend locked me in a closet for a weekend. I was locked in darkness for two whole days and,” Grady shook his head, “This place shows the darkness of human hearts.” He knew that for certain. No matter what, this place was defined by its darkness.
“I can get mother to give me more money next auction. It’s not hard.” Ophelia waved again dismissively, not addressing what she would have to exchange for it. It didn’t matter that much to her. She would rather see the few people she cared for safe, and knowing that her brother had Sevastyan to look over him since she could not meant that she could focus on others that needed her. “I could have done that this time. It was stupid that I didn’t. I don’t know. Next time will be different. I promise.”
Grady wanted to tell her not to. He didn’t need to be bought by her but clearly he did. What if Blynn wanted him back? Fuck. He was open for him again now. What stopped him from being called back to the office? Grady got up and dug around for that pill bottle. He only had a few left. He didn’t need one but it was better than thinking. He swallowed one dry and went back to the bed, flopping on his stomach this time.
“It’s okay, Ophelia,” Grady said, his voice rough, “It happens.”
“It shouldn’t.” Ophelia’s voice was colder than normal and she shook her head, moving to seat herself on the bed next to him. The cream she had brought with her was pulled out again and she put some on her hand, breathing on it to warm it slightly before tracing her fingers over the welts on his back, very softly to try and avoid hurting him more. “Do you need to be claimed, Grady? I don’t want you to be harmed more...” Because seeing her friends in pain agitated her a great deal and she wanted to prevent it if possible.
Grady stiffed when he felt her hand on him. He knew Ophelia was safe to touch but after the week he had, touch was hard. It meant trust and it meant finding a place on him that didn’t hurt. He forced himself to relax as he felt her put the cream on his back. Ophelia was helping him. He needed to repeat that again to himself when she asked if he needed to be claimed. The answer should be yes. He needed that protection. He ought to say yes but his old habits of refusing to be claimed, that to be claimed was a fate worse than death, to be claimed would put yourself in the same amount of danger as to be not claimed came out. He shook his head.
“No,” Grady replied, his voice tight, “I don’t need to be claimed.”
Ophelia nodded slightly, though obviously he could not see her do so given his positioning on the bed, carefully dosing out more cream for his back and again ensuring it would not be cold against his skin before putting it on him. “If you ever do need it, Grady, please don’t think it’s any trouble to ask me. You know me well enough to know that it won’t change anything between us, I would not allow that.” Her eyes looked over him- she hated knowing that he was in pain, but she would not claim him unless he asked it of her or accepted it. It was just not how she worked, and she knew doing something of that sort would harm the trust they had built up.
“I can’t,” Grady whispered, “I know I should jump at this chance but I’m an idiot,” he resisted the urge to move, either to pull away or look at Ophelia he didn’t know, “It scares me right now.” It scared him to be unclaimed but he had some power over that. He could keep to himself, not that he was ever good at that, or something, anything else, but whatever it to be, it could be that he would be safer on his own. He couldn’t trust another. Not right now. He hated thinking like that. Ophelia was one of the good ones. He just didn’t have it in him right now.
“I understand, Grady. I’m not going to make you, you know that.” Ophelia finished what she was doing and slid back from his frame, rising to move to a chair instead of the bed. It would be more comfortable if he could stretch out more, after all, and she did not want to interfere with that, especially knowing that he was deeply unsettled by everything that happened. “If you need it eventually, you will tell me?” She didn’t really expect him to ever come to her, but he needed to know that the offer was open if he needed someone.
He felt Ophelia move off the bed and he turned slightly to see her. Am I abusable? The words lingered on his lips but he swallowed them back. Ophelia didn’t know his history, what happened with his father or anything like that. He didn’t want her to. He didn’t know why. He didn’t want her to look at him different, he guessed. Someone who didn’t know that this wasn’t the first time he laid on his bed, nursing wounds given by another. He knew how to take care of himself. He also knew he tended to make bad decisions.
“Thank you, Ophelia,” Grady said softly, “For everything,” he paused, “Everyone else you were worried about, they okay?”
“Everyone I’ve been around has seemed fine…” She could not answer for Cruz, obviously, but Laertes and Diaz (well, Michael, but same difference in her mind) had all seemed to be okay after the week. She wanted to do more next time around and she had already sort of decided and planned that in her head, but for now, she knew things were okay and so that was something at least. “You don’t need to thank me, though. I’m your friend. I don’t keep many of them really, so it’s important to me to know that you’re safe as much as I can…”
“I do,” Grady said, “I’ve been an ass this week and you keep risking yourself. Being my friend has never been easy.” WIth those words he missed his wife deeply. He needed to get himself going to go home, even if it was for a few hours. He hated having her see him like this but she would understand. He needed her touch soon, “All your friends are lucky to have you.”
“It’s not a risk. I make food, I bring it out. No risk, just a walk across campus.” Ophelia shrugged a tiny bit and looked down at her hands for a moment. “And you should tell that to the zeta I attempted to look out for this past auction week. Utter disaster.” She shook her head a tiny bit and let out a short, obviously unamused laugh. “At least he didn’t have to deal with the person that bought him, though. Seemed that me ignoring him was better I suppose…”
Grady was grateful for the change in topic, or at least away from himself. He shifted so he could look at her, keeping the weight off his back and bottom.
“What happened?” Grady asked. He didn’t know if he could blame the other. Everyone knew what auction week was really about. If they didn’t know Ophelia or her intentions, she was just as dangerous as everyone else. It was a sad fact.
“Tried to be nice. He pretty well ignored me. Took him coffee and tried to let him know what had happened. He just seemed mad, so...I finally just left? Told him to enjoy his week off?” Ophelia shrugged again and tugged the end of her hair, a thoughtful look on her face. “I suppose I probably went about it all wrong, but he was...kind of mean…”
“I can’t blame him,” Grady said quietly, “He didn’t know you and who knows what sort of Alphas he had in the past. I’m growling at you and I know you won’t hurt me. If I didn’t?” he shrugged, “I know it’s not right to you but women can be just as dangerous as the men. Worse because you don’t really suspect it.”
“Am I just wasting my time trying, Grady?” Ophelia’s voice was quieter and a little sad as she asked, and she pushed her hair from her face to be able to look at him fully. “I mean, I felt like an idiot by the end of the time. He purposely seemed to be trying to make me angry, I think...or I don’t even know. I…” She shook her head a tiny bit and rolled her eyes. “It...I had to force words by the end. I…I’m not good at understanding people, not really…”
“No,” Grady said, “He sounds a lot like me. Or at least me when I was an undergrad through I can’t say I’ve gotten any smarter. He might have been trying to make you angry because then he can see you at your worse. If you beat him, hit him, anything, then he’ll know he was right that you weren’t safe. It’s stupid because you are just hurting yourself but at the same time, you know the worse. If you, as the Alpha, don’t do anything then, well, there is still mistrust but it’s a step,” Grady paused, “Did that make sense? Even a little?”
Ophelia nodded again a tiny bit and curled herself more comfortably into the chair she’d settled in. “It’s stupid, Grady. I mean...I’m hardly an alpha at all. I can’t even talk to most people, and when I manage it, I screw it up. Maybe I should just get my dad to pay for Laertes instead of me. Not like I’m doing any good….” She shook her head again, resting it on her knees and sighing.
Grady moved over to her. Ignoring his ache and pains, he knelt in front of her. He reached up and touched her bare throat and said, “You are an Alpha. You are not collared and you should never ask to be collared. You are a gift, Ophelia. One does not need to be dominating and cruel to be an Alpha. Your kindness makes you the best kind,” Grady smiled softly, “If he is anything like me, he’s scared. It’s easier to act tough and get the worse over with. Doesn’t mean he’s a bad kid… just scared.”
“Lae would not be cruel either. He’s like me.” Ophelia shrugged a tiny bit again and laughed. “I’m more worried about him than anything else. It’s just….part of who I am I guess?” That she was used to- she knew it was not something she would be able to change, not ever, so it was just something that had to be accepted. “I’d rather be collared and know that he is safe no matter what, Grady. It’s selfish of me, he matters more than just about anything. I mean...I could handle whatever. I can just hide. I’m used to that. He….he should not have to.” And yet he did, and while she knew it was who he was as well, it still upset her that she could not give him something better.
“You said before he was owned?” Grady asked, “Is his Alpha good to him? Would he tell you if he wasn’t?” Grady sighed. He got back up on the bed. Kneeling wasn’t comfortable. He didn’t know what to say to Ophelia. She was too sweet and gentle to be at risk like that. He wouldn’t want her hurt. He would hurt whoever harmed her without a thought. He had done it before for friends and he would do it again. He wished he could do more.
“He tells me everything, pretty much. We don’t have secrets between us.” Ophelia shrugged one shoulder a tiny bit and bit her lower lip again. “He seems happy. He’s doing what he loves, and that’s important to me as much as it is to him.” She was grateful for Grady’s words, though it did not really make her feel all that much better. She wanted to be able to do more, and she knew she did not have that power, not really. “He knows that if something happened to him… I’m there to fix it.” As she had tried to in the past, though she had gotten to the point where she probably had more logical ways to do so now.
Grady didn’t want to say that as long as Laertes was safe that he should be kept as a zeta because things could change on a dime here. The auction could mess that up. His Alpha could change.
“Neither of you should be zetas,” Grady said, shaking his head. This place should be a safe place and it wasn’t. It never was.
Ophelia shrugged a tiny bit and nodded. “I wish he wasn’t. I hate that mother took his money away. She’s...vile.” She shrugged again and sighed. It was not something she could change, unfortunately, and it made her sad. “I’d give up my status for him to have it though. It’s just...how things are.”
“Your parents allow him to be a zeta?” Grady asked, his voice tight. That was vile. If they knew what it was like then no parent should be allowed to do this, “Can you claim him? Then you would know for certain that he was safe.”
“Mother is not a fan of some of his choices. And some things that aren’t really choices too, I guess?” Ophelia shook her head. “She’s...hateful. If I claimed him, she would drop me too, and I don’t know if daddy would be able to arrange for me to stay an alpha. He would try, but...I know her. She would do anything in her power to make our lives miserable.” She brushed back her hair, not wanting to think more on it. She still owed her mother for the auction money she had to use, and she did not want to consider that at all.
“I’m sorry,” Grady said softly, “Parents are supposed to be those people you can count on and to be there for you. It’s sickening when they aren’t,” They aren’t supposed to be the ones to hurt you, “I guess as long he is safe. You said he was happy, right?”
“He is. He’s changed his major to dance, and he loves it. It’s what he’s always wanted…” Ophelia laughed softly and shook her head. “He spent a lot of time sort of doing what I did, and he was...never quite right at it. Wasn’t supposed to be, that’s not his expression form, you know?” She knew that for most of their lives he had danced, and he was good at it, so him finally being able to do that pleased her because she knew it was what he wanted.
Grady nodded. He liked to think everyone had the ability to express themselves somehow. He was an artist. Clearly her brother was a dancer.
“I’m glad to hear that he is able to do what he enjoys,” Grady said, “Now we need the same for you.” He smiled softly.
“I’m an artist. That’s all I need. My paints and such, you know?” Not completely true, but she tried her best to make it so. It would be a lot easier, wouldn’t it, not needing to have other people around or other needs outside of just her art. She offered Grady a smile and flicked some hair from her face, shrugging. “I am able to do what I love and that matters, you know?”
“It’s important that you are happy,” Grady said, “In every respect and a part of that is not being a zeta, okay?” Grady sighed, “I’ll do what I can to protect you, if you are zeta or Alpha. The same to your brother. I don’t know him but I know he’s important to you and that makes him important to me.”
“I… don’t need to be protected. I can handle myself, for the most part…” Just because she did not talk did not mean she did not have her defense mechanisms to keep herself going. “And I am happy.” She nodded slightly. If she said it enough it would become true, right? Not that she was trailing around anyone that would talk to her to keep busy, nothing of that sort was going on at all.
“I’m not saying you can’t take care of yourself,” Grady said, his voice tightening, “You’re my friend. I take care of those I care about. Right now you are taking care of me by feeding me but I’ll be there for you too.” He wasn’t trying to insult her but he would do whatever he could to keep others safe.
Ophelia looked down, a little embarrassed by his words. It was not something she ever let herself consider, that she needed anything or anyone aside from her brother and her paints. “You should have good food regularly. Nobody around here eats well enough, when it comes to zetas. Too skinny, all of you…” Diverting attention a bit, yes, but it was what it was.
Grady chuckled lightly and said, “I can promise that I normally do. Just this last week I haven’t felt like it much but your food is very good, thank you,” he smiled, “You’re a good person, Ophelia.” He knew she diverted the topic but he meant what he said. He would protect Ophelia and her brother if he could. He would keep them safe. It’s what he did.
Ophelia nodded a bit and laughed, brushing back her hair from her face again. “I like making sure people are...I guess well-fed. It’s a sign of concern. Cooking with love, all that…” She laughed again. Taking it from that, the servants she was raised with loved her more than her mother did, but she did not think on that at the moment. She knew how to cook and that was what mattered, how she learned did not matter much.
Grady shrugged then winced at the movement. That was a bad idea. Ophelia was too sweet for this school. It needed more people like her. Or less people like Blynn Craven. Or both.
“I appreciate what you did this week,” Grady said.
“You needed it.” Ophelia shrugged a tiny bit and rolled her eyes. “I could have done more if I really tried. I worried. A lot.” She brushed back her hair from her face and pulled up her knees to her chest, settling more comfortably. “I try to do what’s right by people when I can.”
“I don’t blame you for keeping away some,” Grady said, returning to his initial statements to her, “I know I was rotten. I can’t promise, if you come by tomorrow, I’ll be better. Though I think I’m going to go home for the weekend. I feel sorry for Kore but I miss her.” Plus he could have a cool bath and soak himself.
“You should. Spend time with your wife, have time away from all of this…” Ophelia gestured out toward the campus with a tiny laugh and shook her head. “I should do the same, honestly. Spend a day in DC or something of that sort, just get away.” She did think it was wise for him to go and spend some time off campus though, just to relax if nothing else.
“She had the right idea leaving,” Grady said softly, “At least for her, I don’t know. It doesn’t seem to right to be run off from a good education because I don’t want to be hurt anymore,” he shrugged, “Away is good. DC is good too. Who will go with you?”
“By myself, probably.” Ophelia shrugged. She could not judge someone else’s choice, though she thought leaving Grady alone was not the wisest idea. “I like cities, always have, so it’s nothing for me to wander around alone sometimes…”
“Plus a lot to draw, I’d imagine,” Grady said, “You okay going on your own?” Grady was starting to get uncomfortable. He shifted on the bed, finally lying on his stomach, trying to find comfort there.
Ophelia nodded. There tended to be a lot to entertain her in cities, and trekking out to DC would keep her busy for at least a full day, with all the exploring she could do. She noted his movements and a small frown crossed her face. “Do you want another one of those pills you took? Maybe you can rest a while hopefully? You need that to heal up properly…”
“I don’t want to kick you out,” Grady said but he nodded, “I may try to nap before going home. Maybe then I won’t be such an ass with Kore.” He reached for his bottle of pills and tapped one out in his hand. He swallowed it dry, “Thanks again for everything, Ophelia.”
Ophelia lightly ran her hand over his hair lightly. “You sleep now. Do you need anything before I go? Some water or something?” The concern was back in her voice as she looked him over, figuring that if he needed something from the store or whatever, she could run out for him so he would not have to worry on it later.
Grady shook his head, “I’m good, thanks. You okay if I don’t walk you out? I feel rude but…” he trailed off. But he was sore and ready for that nap. He reached for his phone, setting the alarm to go off in an hour or so.
“Go to sleep, Grady...” Her voice was lighter and she offered a tiny smile. She could easily let herself out, that was no huge deal. Her fingers brushed over his hair again lightly and she turned toward the door. “Sleep well, and text me if you need anything…”