She didn’t get it. Maybe it wasn’t so surprising. Katsuko had told him that her chakra was fucked up. That hadn’t happened naturally. Avoiding drugs would make sense from her point of view. She had monster chakra, after all. She didn’t need an edge for taking on missing-nin with Bloodline Limit.

The first time he’d used Speed was a blurry memory filled with adrenaline and fire. Hoshi’s genjutsu fizzing out as he ran out of chakra and Kaede-sensei’s howl as the katon found her hands, ruining her ninjutsu for a long time, nine months instead of five minutes because they had all survived long enough to find a medic. At the time it hadn’t been certain.

Her voice rough with pain and hatred for the enemy that made her feel it: “take these,” and she’d given him two clear pills and that order again when he didn’t move.

It wasn’t addiction if it worked, and it did work. Every damn time. This mission. The last mission. The one before that. All justified.

“It was justified,” Ryuichi snapped, when he could get a word in edgewise. Katsuko ranted when she was angry. He didn’t respect her perspective as much as he probably should have. “And it wouldn’t really matter if I died. We got the mission done, didn’t we?”

After all, only one agent needed to survive. In a pinch, ANBU could deal with no survivors at all, just so long as the mission was completed. Katsuko was the captain, and a good one besides. ANBU would miss her if she died.

ANBU wouldn’t miss him. Ryuichi knew he had no special talents, no jutsu, no Bloodline Limit. Nothing but his skill with weapons, and this mission had proven that that wasn’t enough. Not even close.

Speed gave him that missing edge. He needed it.