Shiba whined when Ryouma's hand went still. She bumped the hard curve of her skull into his palm, and he moved again, mechanically. Her fur was silky against his calluses, soft as it had been the night Tsume first came to his room and asked the same question in different words.

Who didn't stop? When you said no?

Tsume had had a right to know. Shiba had already heard. Kakashi had, a little, on the rooftop. And Kakashi had responded with some garbled nonsense about mayonnaise being thicker than water, and that his father had killed himself about the same time Ryouma's grandfather had his last drink. To hell with the both of them. If there was a hell, they were both probably there already.

"My granddad was a drunk," he said. The fine hairs grew in a little whorl at the back of Shiba's head; he parted them with a delicate finger, trying to see skin. "So were his pals. Mostly I stayed out of the way. I told you, once, I ran. That was afterwards. The old man just got mean when he was drinking, but his friends--"

Tsume had a right to know; he owed her more than he could give. But reasons ran deeper than that, because he knew what Tsume thought of him--or, more significantly, didn't think of him--and his confession hadn't changed that. She'd said she was sorry. She'd stayed, and kept the dark away. She'd known he was weak, and hadn't cared.

Kakashi thought he was strong, and that was the only reason he'd let Ryouma stay.

His throat tightened. Shiba whined again and tried to wriggle free. He let her go. Kakashi thought he was strong. They'd saved each others' lives, leaned on each others' shoulders, watched each others' backs. Ryouma had stopped Sadao.

How had Kakashi felt about himself, afterwards?

"Matsuda was better," he said. "I got to kill him. The other guy--I didn't even know his name. He was grey hair and a yellow grin, and he was so drunk I could taste it afterwards. He didn't--he wasn't Sadao. But Sadao didn't go for kids. And there were half a dozen of them there, and none of them stopped him. They were still drinking. Some of them watched. They liked it."

Matsuda had liked watching.