It was almost like deja vu, hearing the Hokage inform Haruichi of the oath he was taking. He'd seen it in blood and breaks and achievement that marked his patients for his entire adult life, secondhand or not, he knew what it was to be the sharpest edge of the blade.

As Arakaki passed the Hokage the mask, and Haruichi found it suddenly in his own hands, he looked down at it. Wide black blank eyes set almost too far apart stared back up at him, the pristine white of its face broken only by a small green cross set below the left eye.

Haruichi knew now what it meant to look through a mirror, darkly. He reversed the mask, and set it to his own face. A dark reflection through which he looked at the world, and through which the world would look at him.

And it was then that he realized he wasn't ready to be changed into one of the people he would give his life to keep safe. It happened the moment his face was hidden, and nobody could see his eyes and the betrayal of his heart writ large in them. He felt his whole being go very still in recognition of the situation he'd put himself in, and didn't even have the wherewithal to concern himself with what it would look like if he held still for longer than a second.

Then he felt the echo of Hoshi's hand on his bare upper arm, and kept moving. He didn't just face the Hokage now, he looked at him, and waited for his cue.

His parents and Hinaji were gone, now. Hoshi was the one who was here, and she had said he could do it. If she had faith, he'd be ready. He'd make bloody sure of it.