To all of my students: Yes, exams are still being held today. If you want to get your final paper/project grades back, that's where I'll be handing them out. If, for any reason, you feel your safety is in question, please contact me directly.
Given that I have been outed against my will, I shall have no shame in telling you that I'll know if you're lying to escape your final, and I won't take kindly to it.
[HAND OF GRIMM] She's got some weird symbol down next to my name. Has anyone else looked, or shall I spoil the surprise for you?