Nate Carson / Cheshire Cat (worthashot_) wrote in fableless, @ 2017-04-12 23:45:00 |
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Curiosity, curiosity. Always the problem with a cat. Nate knew his rational mind would never win over his fascination with what those scrolls meant. The good part was Simon already knew it, and he seemed to think it'd be fine. Nate trusted that, so he wasn't afraid of getting his scroll, or of opening it. He was just as curious what was in it, that Simon was insistent on being there with them. He told Eliza he was psyched they were all friends in that life too, at least. It seemed right. So Nate headed over to Simon's place with both his scroll and Eliza's, the latter being very carefully held since he didn't want to accidentally mess it up for her. If that was even possible. His hair was its usual haphazard curly mess and he was wearing his favorite Spider-Man t-shirt since it seemed important to be an Avenger today. He was this mix of cheerful and anxious, knocking on Simon's door and then looking again at the perfectly written name on his scroll. The Cheshire Cat. A Tale he'd always been proud of and loved deeply. Things were about to get really weird, he knew that much. Simon had not been out much since his own personal breakdown. The life had not mattered, it had been a rush of so many feelings that above anything for Simon, it had been hard to comprehend. The boy was not too good at handling intense emotions as it were, and practically reliving a life he had never lived that dealt heavily in drugs had been an experience Simon had not been ready for. Above it all had been the desperation of not having any drugs work on his symptoms that had set Simon off. Sevan had been hopped up on cocaine and the like, but uppers barely worked. Sevan might have been surprised that potions from witches worked better than anything he got his hands on. He should have talked to the White Queen about that. Answering the door, Simon pushed his own long hair out of his eyes. He looked exhausted and felt it twice as much. The problem being that falling asleep was easy, while staying asleep was not. Seeing Nate, there was a mixed sort of awkward feeling that bubbled up. It may have been easier to separate his last life from him than his Tale life, but the thoughts and feelings now resided inside his mind. Sevan resided inside his mind as much as the Dormouse did. “Hey, come in.” Simon scratched at his chin. Everyone was going on about these scrolls and past lives but all Eliza could really think about was watching that crack show up again in the sky and seeing them all fall. But even as paper after paper had fallen no people had come out, no word, no anything. How could any of these be any good if they came from whatever that place was? So she said she would look but really she hadn’t, because of course Nate would go looking for them. And so he had which left her reading that message and coming to the decision that she trusted Simon enough to show up and at least look at the thing. What could the past really do, it was already gone. Eliza felt itchy on the way over, enough so that she almost felt the need to see if somehow she was wearing iron something. Maybe it was just nerves as she got closer to Simon’s house. Walking up the path it looked like Nate was already there, talking with Simon at the door. The urge to just turn and walk away was there but if she did they’d just wait. They’d wait because she said she’d be there. It was now or never really, so Eliza made her choice and finished walking up to the door. “You’re faster than me.” she mused at Nate as she did. "Hey Dor," Nate said in reply, feeling for a moment like reminding his friend of his Tale might not be the smartest. Still, it was them. The Cat and the Mouse and it was what bonded them early on, so he saw no real reason to pretend otherwise. There was no missing the deep concern in his eyes as he looked at his exhausted friend, and he stopped the impulse to just hug him. He thought about it. Maybe later. Before he could say anything else he heard Eliza and turned to look at her, flashing a quick smile. Here was his other friend who was hurting, and there was no fix for it, but Nate was starting to learn some things couldn't be immediately fixed and that was okay. Desperately trying to do it for people only lead to more anxiety for them. So he resisted hugging her too. "I was already on my way from like, the moment I saw his message. Plus I'm fast like lightning." Nate moved past Simon into the house, turning around to hand Eliza her scroll when she came in. If she wanted it. It was still closed, so it wouldn't just set off upon contact, but it felt weird in his possession. "So any tips on how to deal with these things, Simon?" Anyone else that would have referred to him as his Tale name might have gotten a very different reaction. Nate held the pass of using the name on him. Nate would always be his Chess- even in the life previous Sevan had referred to the other Chess as such. As Eliza appeared, Simon offered a smile. He knew she was still hurting, but all he could do was hope to distract her further. Nodding to Eliza, Simon kept the door open until both of them were inside. His back pressed against the wall behind him to keep him standing. When Eliza finally caught up, he smiled to both of them; the growing feeling of awkwardness straining the corners of his mouth. “Come on, to my room.” Blue eyes glanced over the beautifully scrawled writing on Eliza’s scroll as it passed between the friends. The handwriting exactly the same on each one of the scrolls. “Have a chair, open them quickly?” He shrugged, leading them to the back of the house. “Yeah okay, Flash.” Eliza rolled her eyes at Nate but there was a slight ghost of a smile despite herself. That faded as he turned and offered up her scroll to her. She froze in the hallway for a moment, swaying for a moment before reaching out and taking it. Somehow Eliza thought it would be heavier but instead it felt just like paper. It felt too ordinary to be something so possibly dangerous. She fell into step with them as she turned the scroll over in her hand, moving mostly on memory of Simon’s house. Looking up to Simon she could not help but feel that there was something more to his asking. He hadn’t seemed to like his life and had kept it all bottled up while waiting on them. None of that sounded good but she trusted Simon. If what people were saying was right, what Simon had told them, then it was a whole life in this scroll. Lives had good and bad but Simon seemed to think hers would be mostly good. “Did you set up chairs for us? Or are we sitting on the bed for cushion?” Eliza asked, dry as she ran her thumb over the seal. This was tense and a little awkward and Nate was never good at those things, although the latter was something he knew very well. He rolled his shoulders as if doing that was going to relax him, like there was any possibility this was going to be relaxing. He was already sitting down on Simon's bed when Eliza asked the question, and grinned. "You're so much more polite than I am." He hadn't gone looking for a chair. There was a seat so he took it. They were Chess and Dor, it was just a thing. "I kind of feel like I'm about to jump out of a plane or go bungie jumping or something." The type of thing that made a stomach curl. Nate offered one of his hands to Eliza, because he thought it would be nice to have someone to hold onto, and also because he wanted her to feel better. Or something. Nate either never thought through the actions he did, or agonized over them too much. "Okay, you ready?" “Bed or I have a bean bag for gaming.” Simon slid out the medium-sized, black bean bag from under his bed. Hermit, his rabbit, jumping out from behind it. They had obviously disrupted his bunny nap. Sitting down beside Nate, Simon also offered the section on the queen sized bed beside him. They were friends, but that did not mean he would not give her the choice of comfort. “It feels sort of like that. Living a life in a million times speed, all the way to whatever end.” Simon lowered his eyes. He did not know what their lives had for them in their entirety; he only knew the parts he had been a part of. “I could help with that. I’d just have to drop you while I’m flying.” Eliza said easily as she reached out to take Nate’s offered hand. It was a morbid sort of thing to joke about and since Elsie had disappeared she hadn’t felt much like flying anymore. Not when the sky could open up and swallow people. It had always felt so safe, even the falling. She squeezed Nate’s hand and then left go with a sharp breath through her nose. She could do this. If Simon had done it she could too. Eliza took a seat on the bean bag so that she could face them both. There was no hiding, instead a triangle of the three of them with her as the point. Maybe it was some strange whimsy of her own tale but there seemed something powerful in that not that she would ever be able to figure out why. “Okay.” she nodded, looking down at the scroll. “Ready.” It was so light and ordinary feeling. Opening it did not feel like anything at all, that was until Eliza’s eyes caught the inside of the paper. Her entire self was absorbed into a flyby of a life and memories. There was music, the high ecstasy of things other than fear, and the crushing loneliness of being unwanted. And then finding someone who saw her and raised her up high in the haze and joy and touch that overwhelmed everything. It was beautiful and terrifying with lights and sound and the heat of skin. Until it all came to a snapped close with the sharp, cracking pain that ripped her apart as Eliza gasped aloud. The scroll fell as her hands went immediately to her abdomen to hold herself together. But there was nothing to hold, no blood or damage instead replaced with the rising heat in her cheeks. Nate thought this must be kind of what happened in that show Dollhouse, whenever they'd get new minds and memories and personalities thrown on them all at once. Only, you know, real life, which made it really really really intense. The Cat's memories were bizarre and disjointed and much longer than any normal human life. This one was more typical … but cut short. "Ooooh, Lily, that's why you don't get high and phase," he muttered to himself, reacting first to that because it was the most painful and present. That was why Nate didn't get high. Seriously. He told himself that any time people brought it up. Right, Lily. Innocent, energetic, happy Lily who wanted to enjoy every mad moment like her Tale, and found two terrifically mad people who felt the same. And oh, oh, oh. If he could keysmash in his head that's what he'd be doing. Nate too was blushing by the time he opened his eyes, because wow that had been them and him/her. A trio in a different way. His response was embarrassment first … and then he chuckled. Which led to a laugh. "This is so awkward." He grinned at the two of them, because he could run away or just accept it, and Nate was picking the latter. Seeing Eliza grab for her side, Simon had moved down to place a hand on top of hers and his other went to Nate’s knee. They had both died after him, so he had no idea how their lives ended. “Are you both okay?” A part of him felt relieved at them finally remembering what he did. A smile tugged at his lips when he looked up toward Nate. “Yeah. Now you know why I wanted you two to see these.” At least it would be equally awkward, instead of just him remembering these people and situations and knowing it had been them. “Oh my god.” Eliza breathed as she sorted through everything that had just happened. Or rather it had already happened and she was just remembering it now in vivid detail. Her cheeks burned red and she shrunk into herself, folding between her knees as one hand kept hold of Simon’s while the other went to her mess of hair. They had all been together, memories that were at once thrilling and confusing. Melody had loved them so deeply, losing either, it had been so much, too much. “I’ve seen you naked.” was all she could think to say as her mind apparently found the most ridiculous thing to focus on. “I mean, not you but also you. What?” Nate was officially in the midst of nervous laughter which he was trying to stifle because who laughs at a time like this. But he felt bad and reached out to touch Eliza's hair, since her hands were busy, and his free one went on his knee where Simon was touching. Nate liked the comfort of a grounding touch, something they all needed while things were shifting mentally around them. "I mean, definitely not me, because I'm not a girl this time." Now that was new, but considering he'd been a magical cat before, being a girl was minor in comparison. "But I know what you mean." Wow were his dreams going to be very, very interesting for awhile. Nate was still blushing, he was pretty sure his face was going to be permanently red. Now that he felt it, the rest set in, and he felt suddenly sad. "Shit, they died, that's awful. They all died so young." Sevan had replaced his band family with the two girls. He found comfort in their trio where they made no judgements toward one another and lived life as they wanted it. He loved both of them so completely, yet had not thought about going overboard in his vices. All Simon could think was that Sevan would be happy they found each other again. Simon chuckled. “Yeah, but you’re practically a girl, Chess.” Hopefully, Chess’ dreams would not be accidentally highlighted by Simon’s ability. Using the one hand that was holding onto Eliza’s he attempted to pull her into a hug. “So… how did yours end? Sevan died before you two, but you guys had to have not been much after… since we’re all around the same age.” It was a morbid question, but Sevan’s memories made him curious what happened to his girls. Eliza had not even begun to think about the dreams. She hadn’t even kissed anyone really yet and here she was with memories of so much more than she could even begin to piece together. All of it was so overwhelming and Nate was there just able to accept it. Eliza wished she could. Following Simon’s guidance was more instinct than conscious choice. She let Simon guide her up and wrapped her arms around him, ending up practically on top of him before she remembered herself. “Sorry.” she stumbled, pulling away but sitting beside him instead of going back to the bean bag chair. “I think someone shot me.” she answered after a moment of awkward quiet. “I thought I was alone. I don’t know who it was.” "It's the hair, right? I have really girly hair." It was a little too long and a little too curly. Nate glanced over at Eliza and immediately worried, moving a little closer to them both. "Don't be sorry." He felt chagrined, knowing he was being a little more cavalier on the outside than he actually felt on the inside. "It's, uh, I think a little less weird for me because I'm used to Wonderland. Not that it's easy, it's just not as weird as Wonderland." Nothing was as weird as that place. The book really did not summarize the atmosphere. "I don't know what I'm saying." He rambled when he didn't know what to say, instead of being silent. But she was murdered. He knew that. "You went missing. A few days later they found you. I was alone." Lily was alone. Lily was broken. Both of them gone, and all her happiness with them. Nate sombered quickly. "She got very high, phased through the floor, and went solid in the middle of it. I don't know … if it was on purpose." But it might have been, with how uncertain he was. She'd been high at the time. Simon did not let Eliza go when she moved back off his lap. “It’s fine, Eliza. You are allowed to hug me. I deal with Chess, I can deal with a few intense hugs.” Hearing their endings made Simon feel like shit. Sevan had not wanted to leave them alone. “Yeah, acid trips could not even do justice to Wonderland.” Rubbing his eyes, Simon shook his head. “I’m sorry… Sevan was trying to work through his Narcolepsy and kept pushing how much. He never wanted leave you two.” Simon turned to Eliza. “He would have died inside knowing you had been murdered or that you were left alone,” he said turning back to Nate. “That's why I wanted you two to open yours with me though. I don't know what to feel about it. The life wasn't all that bad and….” It was hard not to think about the wild ride the three of them had. Eliza’s cheeks felt hot but she didn’t pull away. Melody had lost Sevan, but Eliza still had Simon. It was all different but still somehow something. Everything felt so strange and it was true she had no memories of a place like wonderland. Hers were of a forest, of haunting people and places that wanted nothing to do with the devil child. But in that life Lily and Sevan had only wanted her, the devil, all of it. She leaned her head in to rest against Simon’s shoulder as she reached out with her free hand to take one of Nate’s. Running off for days at a time was something she remembered clearly. “I was supposed to come back.” she offered as an explanation, even though she hadn’t and Lily had paid the price for that. “But yeah, it wasn’t all bad.” "I give great hugs, you both can always have my hugs." Nate with all his gangly limbs and warm heart had a tendency to swoop in at people. Especially when they were hurting. Remembering more vividly what happened, where Lily was at, the helplessness and grief she felt, that was tough. It made him wonder why he was so angst filled about his own life. Sure things happened, bad things, but it was still better in comparison. "No, no, I mean. They were really happy. It was short lived, but very real." That kind of love Nate had never experienced. He thought he loved Leona and a few of his exes, and he did in his own way. But nothing like what was being played in his mind, the three of them joined at the hip. Nate slid closer to them and put his arm around Eliza, also technically putting his arm around Simon while doing that, so they were all neatly tied up in each other. Dear friends, and nothing was going to change that. "I'm glad we opened it, Dor, I wouldn't have wanted you to be the only one who had to deal with this. Even if I'm thinking I might have some ridiculous dreams about this." He was joking and trying to lighten the conversation up. Mostly. "The drug ones will tie in well with Wonderland at least." The reminiscent feeling of being squished in the middle of his two friends had a doubled impact. Dormouse never minded it back in Wonderland, it had a protective feeling either even with the otherwise abusive ways the Hatter and Hare leaned on him. With Lily and Melody, there had been only love in it that had been articulated in a way, Simon was not sure any of them were capable of now. Drawn into the new old memories, Simon could feel his body wanting to sleep. Half conscious about his actions and in the middle of the hug pile, Simon lend over and kissed Chess before turning to Eliza and kissing her. A moment later his muscles went limp with cataplexy and colours started dancing around them. In his microsleep when stressed his dream manifestation always appeared. It was a good way of figuring out how he was feeling without him having to talk. After everything they had all just seen, that Simon had been processing for days now, maybe Eliza should have expected the sudden press of lips against her own. But right now Eliza was fairly certain she was getting surprised by absolutely everything, her entire body having gone rigid from surprise. Not that it had felt bad, not at all. It was so different from the memories that now played in her mind where Melody had been so open and comfortable. Instead Eliza was going bright red again as Simon went limp in their arms and the world started to kaleidoscope around them. “That’s not fair, Simon!” Eliza finally managed to stammer out, poking at his sleeping chest as her cheeks burned from how red they had gone. With the raging cocktail of emotions going through her head she knew none of this was fair, it was not like Simon wanted to fall asleep. Nate was startled too, but not necessarily in a bad way. It'd been too long, in his opinion, since he'd kissed anyone. Still, Simon then promptly went limp, and Nate patted his hair soothingly. It wasn't his fault, and he knew this was exactly what upset Simon so much, the impossibility of controlling this type of thing. He and Eliza at least were mirroring each other in their deep blushes, and Nate was trying yet again not to laugh. The colors were very confusing and Nate blinked a few times to try and clear his eyes. "I mean, it could have been worse, he could have shrunk too." He was pretty good at compartmentalizing things. "I know this must be so messed up for your head right now, Eliza, maybe we shouldn't have done it until, I don't know." Until the crack wasn't a symbol of family loss. Until she was still mourning but it stung less. Until a time when having a very confusing amount of emotions was manageable. At the influx of emotion in their voices and the sudden colourful display, Hermit hopped over to the Trio, jumped up onto Simon’s chest and started to beat down his foot onto the sleeping boy’s chest. It took a few minutes before SImon woke up with a gasp of air and shrug of pain from the rabbit’s method. Blinking, his eyelids heavy with the sudden slumber wanting to retain control, Simon stayed laying down. The colors of a vivid dream attempting to materalize disappeared the instant his eyes opened. “Fucking rabbit,” he mumbled. His gaze focused on his two friends, their rosen faces bring about a blush of his own. Nate compartmentalized, Eliza froze and Simon dealt with it all by letting it run its course and attempting to ignore it. The kissing was hard to ignore as it sunk in what he had done. Hermit hopped up to Simon’s face and smelled his nose before jumping onto the bed in wait. “Uh…” “If he had shrunk I’d put him in my pocket for pulling that!” Eliza answered quickly, poking at Simon’s chest again before her hand was moved out of the way by Hermit hopping into place again. She really didn’t know what to feel. The crack in the sky was nothing good, she still wasn’t sure if knowing these lives was anything good. Her cousin was gone, possibly forever, possibly dead, and the same force that did that seemed to give these lives too. “I wasn’t going to let you do it alone.” she answered Nate, looking up at him before nervously tucking wild hair behind her ear. The rabbit had gone to work though and Simon gasped back to life just like he always had. Except now she had a memory where that hadn’t happened and Eliza could feel her heartbreak at the thought all over again. She didn’t want to think about it. Instead she grabbed one of Simon’s pillows and brought the pillow down to hit against Simon’s chest. “What was that about?” she demanded, even though she felt a little bad because he had just woken back up. He was the one kissing people though so maybe she didn’t feel too bad. Nate was about to try it himself, but the rabbit knew best, so he waited for Simon to come back to life. Although much like Eliza, there was that pang, the memory of a time where a version of him didn't wake up. His eyelashes fluttered as the memory came and went, and he swallowed it down. Not his grief, hers, but his now too. This was going to get complicated. He laughed when she hit Simon with the pillow. It was very them, and familiar, comforting. "Ummmm I'm going to go with the complicated mess of feelings and memories in our head of a life when we were all in love? Or maybe he just thinks we're really, really pretty." Nate figured if they could somehow make a joke about it, it could be better, which was generally his way of thinking about everything. Laugh until it was less weird. Laugh until it didn't hurt anymore. Not the best coping mechanism. “Ow, stop, you’re worse than the rabbit.” Simon attempted to block the hit and any further attempts that might happen. He pushed himself to a seated position and ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know,” he wiped his hand down his face trying to figure it out himself. Narcolepsy episodes had the side effect of confusion, without the confusion of their past. He could only guess by their expressions what had exactly happened until the clouds of his mind lifted.. He smiled at Nate and offered an apologetic look to Eliza, completely unaware of the awful feeling his episode had caused. “I- I don’t know.” He repeated with a sigh. “I’ll go with complicated mess.” It did not help that part of Simon had wanted to kiss Eliza while they were drunk in the woods or how close of friends he was with Nate. Add in new passionate memories and everything became very confusing. It was not even them! But it was. And everyone referred to their past selves by the given names, but all Simon ever wanted to say was I. He already had a hard time with trying to escape his Tale. “I’ll show you who’s worse than the rabbit.” Eliza muttered almost half to herself as Simon chastised her. There was the temptation to hit him again with the pillow, just some sort of outlet for how confused she was. Instead she hugged onto the pillow, resting her chin on it as she looked back at the two of them. Simon’s episodes had not necessarily been scary to her for a while. She understood them, even if she did not like them because of what they meant for her friend. But now there was a whole other tone and she tried to see Nate’s joke as the distraction it was but worry mixed with want and sadness and Eliza wasn’t even sure which feelings were hers now and which were Melody’s. Was she supposed to be as close with this life as she was her tale? “I mean...we are pretty.” she commented quietly to latch on to the distraction of Nate’s joke, pressing her chin down on the pillow to maybe hide the scarlett on her cheeks at least a little. "We're all pretty. Good to have that established." Nate was more than willing to play into the joke. He rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. "It's okay. I mean, I think we can all agree this is an intense experience right now. And also that our … um … their relationship was super intense too? In a good way. In a loves of my life could've lasted forever never get enough of each other way." Lily couldn't imagine a world without the two of them, and then she was forced in the worst way to know that world. He didn't think she would've lasted even if she hadn't died the way she did, only a few months after Melody. "I didn't mind. Honestly having the last person I kissed be you instead of Leona is a nice thing." Leona seemed a million miles away at the moment. More than that. A trillion. An extra life away did the trick for now. "Jeez. This is not what I expected. At least our powers didn't go haywire like the empath guy, although like, only us would have known so." Simon scoffed. “Yeah, too pretty to resist.” He rubbed his eyes once more and yawned. A genuine laugh came with Nate’s comment. “I mean… I would prefer it be me instead of her too. I guess this is a new way to remind you that you’re too good for her.” Simon might not have minded kissing either of them again, but with the memories so new (even though he had days more to process) they were hard to tell apart. The only basis of comparison in his mind to tell the feelings apart would be how he felt about either of them before the scroll. But that was muddled by very similar feelings due to their friendships. “Well… now you two know why I was freaking out… Why I needed to share this with you two. We can be fucked up together.” “I hadn’t kissed anyone.” she mumbled into her pillow, because at least for the moment it was hers. Eliza wasn’t mad, not really. None of any of this had really made her mad. Her tale memories had so much loneliness and for years Melody had been lonely too. But then she had found two people that saw her and even when she was by herself she hadn’t been lonely. It was a heady sort of feeling that wasn’t exactly all that different now. She wasn’t lonely when Simon and Nate were around. “It’s freaky.” she nodded along, lifting her head back up. “But I guess, it makes sense too? Maybe? I mean if we get along now, why wouldn’t we get along then too?” Nate looked at Eliza with wide green eyes. "Oh my god, you definitely deserve a better first kiss than that." He smacked Simon on the arm, but lightly, affectionately. "No offense, man, it's just you were literally falling asleep on us." He tousled his own curls thoughtfully. "My first kiss was legit seven minutes in heaven in like seventh grade? It was about as awkward as it sounds." That was before his parents died and before he moved to Woodsbridge to start a new life. "Her, mine, um, Lily's first kiss was later, living on a hippie commune wasn't where all the teenagers were, but …." Nate smiled and ducked his head, the way he canted it similar to the way she moved more than him. Caught in that moment. "I think she'd say something romantic like she hadn't really kissed anyone until you two. Them two." He was having trouble with the lines. Simon’s eyes widened also, only for his mouth to hang open when Nate smacked him. He knew Eliza was shy, but he had not figured he was her first kiss. “Sorry… This is all a lot of stress that makes everything worse.” He paused, looking at Eliza, contemplating if he should kiss her again. Luckily Nate was being his chattery self to break the awkwardness. “Uh, I fell asleep during the only time I played that game. My seven minutes were spent disappointing another girl.” Honestly, Simon did not remember his first kiss because at times dreams and reality blurred for him. Hallucinations were a very real side effect for his condition. A soft smile spread over his lips with the familiar way Nate had moved. “Sevan’s was at a young age during one of the band’s tours. Groupies thought he was adorable.” Biting his lip, he looked back to Eliza. Swallowing down his nerves, he would at least know this was real. Nate was there to tease him. Lifting his hand to Eliza’s face, he leaned in for another kiss; soft and sweet with no expectations. It too was reminiscent of Sevan. Nate was right, her first kiss should not have been followed by him sleeping, and Simon’s other hand still sought Nate’s. Was it weird that she hadn’t kissed anyone? Eliza hadn’t thought it was, well maybe a little. But that sort of thing was never something she was very good at. Maybe it was weird, Nate and Simon both looked so surprised and all she wanted to do was bury her face back into the pillow and wish she had never said anything. She had memories of Melody’s first kiss. It was so much easier in that life, Melody hadn’t even known their name because they hadn’t mattered. “It’s fine.” she stammered, squeezing the pillow to deal with her own anxious nerves as they debated various kisses and memories. Eliza started slightly when Simon’s hand came up to her face and everything happened so quickly again. But this time Simon didn’t go limp as soon as his lips had pressed against hers. This instead of disappearing into the dream colors almost froze in time. Was she supposed to breathe? She didn’t think about that when she had watched movies or read books. Simon’s lips were soft and gentle against hers and her head felt a bit light and hot all at the same time. Was she doing this right? Was there a wrong way to kiss someone? She hesitated for a moment before letting go of the pillow and letting her hand reach up and catch Simon’s cheek to mirror him. Nate's eyes widened even more at what was unfurling in front of him. It wasn't every day he watched people kiss in such an intimate situation. When they were in public, sure, as couples did, but this was definitely not a public setting. He wasn't sure if he should watch or look away or anything really, this was a completely bizarre and new situation to be in. It did remind him a little of the other games they played outside of seven minutes in heaven, like the suck or blow or even spin the bottle. Except that was with a group. And this was with three people. And they had memories of all being lovers. He swallowed, feeling frozen in place, at least due to awkwardness, and in part because of Simon's hand in his. What was he supposed to feel? Uncomfortable? Embarrassed? Turned on? Because it was starting to get to a mixture of the three. He flushed so scarlet at that reality he thought he'd pass out from the amount of blood rushing to his face. But he also didn't want them to stop. For one, Eliza deserved her real first kiss, it was his own idea! For two, bringing attention to it would probably make it weirder, right? For three, he was fine at the moment watching. This was normal in their other life. It was no big deal. No big deal at all. "Well that's much better," he murmured, almost to himself, because Nate didn't know how to shut up. "As far as first kisses go." This was very weird. Simon might have lost himself in the way she kissed him back had it not been Nate’s endless quirk of not being able to stay silent for long. Worry came if he managed to be silent for more than a few minutes at a time. Pulling out of the kiss, his face flushed, Simon laughed softly. “Glad to get your approval.” The ease to the situation, when not dwelt on, came naturally with the new memories. Sevan had known these kisses before, but Simon had only thought about them. Were these past lives always somewhere in there minds, molding their interactions like their Tales might? Blue eyes looked over to the green eyes under curly hair, a silent threat of a kiss in play. Nate and Simon were opposites in nature. He was the ever talkative cat and Simon the sleepy mouse. Their lives in Wonderland had been complicated, as Wonderland went, in Woodsbridge it had been easy. With Eliza it had been easy too, but in a different way; Simon saw her as a kindred spirit in their quiet natures. He saw it was reflected in the thoughts Sevan had had for Melody and Lily. The kissing stopped and Eliza was pretty sure that her brain had stopped working for at least a moment. Everything seemed to be sparks and she knew Nate was talking but she couldn’t really focus on what he was saying. Which wasn’t always all that unusual but usually she could at least indulge paying attention. Instead her fingertips went to her lips for a moment as if somehow the tingling might be kept and was not just from her entire brain shutting down. “That was.” Eliza was not really sure what to say. What she was certain about was that she didn’t think her face could get any redder than it already was. She blinked rapidly, attempting to pull herself back into some sort of sensibleness but that had gone out the window probably as soon as Nate had found those scrolls. Finally she looked up at them, focusing in with wide brown eyes. “Were we talking about something?” Nate really wanted to kiss them. It was ridiculous how much that impulse was in his mind, after he saw the way they looked post-kissing. It was the kind of look he'd like to inspire or have on his own face. But it seemed like an odd thing to do, somehow, despite what had just been happening. And there was so much going on in their heads, so much of it driven by memory too. Cats were curious but cats were also cautious. He unconsciously licked his lips and then smiled at them both. "Not really. We opened scrolls full of baggage. We experienced death and a lot of sex, so there's that. I was a girl! A pretty one too, I'm weirdly proud of that." Still talking to much, still joking. "Then you guys made out and I watched and now here we are." He shrugged. "Want to watch TV or something? I wonder if they have a Three's Company marathon on …." Nate's smile curled into a grin. One might even call it a Cheshire grin. Every moment dripped with awkward, each of them blushing until they could not blush any deeper, but there they were still mixed into it all. Simon thought to himself that he might try kissing Eliza again when they were not all very confused with past life memories. For her benefit? And though he might not have broken his friendship with Nate to kiss him outside of the situation, Simon did not oppose the idea either. He had never had time to come to the conclusion of which sexual persuasion he would be listed under. Everyone had their merit. Accepting that he was the only one willing to even test the grounds and get out the bottled feeling while he had the chance, in the midst of Nate’s ramble he kissed him again- more than the initial peck and similar to how he had just kissed Eliza. Sure they were all confused and mixed up and the memories had far too many drugs in them to distinguish much of what feelings had not been intensified by them. Simon also felt he needed to not leave Nate to ramble while Eliza processed her own kiss. This all felt a little bit like being drunk. Except every time she had gotten drunk it hadn’t ended with kissing one of her best friends. Nate was rambling, answering her and she could feel her own awkward, mortified smile at his attempt at explaining and derailing the situation to something else. Her heart felt a bit like it was skipping. “Or a horror movie, maybe?” she offered to Nate’s suggestion because those at least always made sense in their own weird way. Except apparently Simon had other ideas and instead of answering or poking fun at either of them, he was kissing Nate. And there were memories she had where this was normal, all part of everything that was the greater love that three people had shared together. But here Eliza felt like she should look away, like it was private even though hadn’t Nate just been there a moment before? And she kept watching just like he did. “Oh, or that.” she stumbled, hugging onto her pillow again. The thing was, Nate kind of figured that might happen. It felt like that was likely to be the next step, so he wasn't surprised in the least when Simon kissed him. It was the most efficient way to shut him up too, considering he could talk through just about anything until someone stopped him. This was not his first kiss; it wasn't his first kiss with a man, or with a friend, or even this year. Because of that his return kiss was not very hesitant or reluctant, it was curious, always curious. He pulled away when he was getting dizzy and distracted and now it was him trying to sort through the cobwebbed brain to figure out what next. He looked over at Eliza with hazy eyes and blinked about a dozen times in a row. "What?" Right. Thinking. Thinking happened. Oh and his hand was in Simon's hair, how did that happen? He let it fall down and was back to trying not to laugh. What in the world was this day. "Horror movie, yeah, um. That's .... probably a good idea." Nothing romantic. He did think about kissing Eliza to just complete it, but she seemed like she was struggling enough as it is, so Nate was going to respect that boundary. "Something with uh those things the things that … like … brains …." Nate laughed. "You're a good kisser, Dor." It was Simon, letting the crazy go, in their almost Tea Party way now, that started laughing in his mild and soft way. He could not help it and it mixed into his yawns. The exhaustion lingered no matter what he did. Processing was slower in these moments because of the new stressor that had been introduced. “Yeah, um... “ He paused, letting his eyes close. “I’m sorry guys…. Yeah… movies. I have Netflix, there’s always cheesy horror movies on there… like The Howling: Reborn.” Something distracting would be good for them all. Simon managed to break their relatively intimate seating arrangement to get the remote for his tv. The Sevan inside of him was satisfied and hopefully felt a bit of a closing on the life. His advantage of having the memories longer suddenly made him feel bad about kissing either of them- to complete the conflict of memories inside his brain. “Honestly, I’m not sure if I kissed anyone before, so, uh, thanks, Chess. Both you and Eliza are good kissers too.” But he would leave it at that because that was an odd conversation to have. He flipped on the smart tv and turned on Netflix. “Thank you?” Eliza answered awkwardly as she started to breathe a little. Simon had pulled away to get his remote and there was no longer that haze of heat of having another body pressed so close to her. Not that it had mattered with the look Nate gave her after him and Simon had stopped kissing. None of this made any sense, even if there was somehow a person inside now named Melody who said it made perfect sense. But they weren’t the same person or were they? Her papa had always told her to embrace her tale but did that include all of this too? Maybe Simon and Nate were right though and all of it felt more like Wonderland. The closest she had ever been was seeing some of Simon’s thought creations. Part of her wondered if she should kiss Nate, if that was something she could do. He let Simon kiss him but maybe that was different. They had three lives together now, even if they weren’t all the same. She wasn’t entirely sure what to do with herself. Usually for movies they would just end up in a pile, much like her and Simon had in the woods during the storm. That seemed so far away now and yet not at all. “Zombies are the ones with the brains.” she finally answered Nate as her brain caught up with her, reaching out again and taking Nate’s hand as Simon started to flip through the options. "How can I forget zombies? I love the Walking Dead." He hit his forehead with his palm, smiling, his brain catching up to him finally. Nate relaxed now that they were getting distracted, because he had some ideas on where this night would go if they didn't have a distraction. Or maybe not. Or maybe. The point was, this was a lot all at once. Damned if he was going to look at either of them and not think about this for awhile though. Nate was relieved when she took his hand, and then he slipped closer. He put a comforting arm around her shoulders. It wasn't a move, it was genuinely meant to give a half hug, to make sure everyone was alright. Also because there was a part of him who was Lily and who was left when Melody died alone. It was possible that part of him was also comforted, being able to hug Eliza. "We can do The Howling: Reborn. I'd promise not to make snarky comments through it, but I know better than to lie to you guys." He gestured for Simon to get on his other side. He could put an arm around both of them, and they could all feel better, and maybe the original trio would feel better on some level too. To not be in the middle between them was enough of a reason to not demand his original spot back. Simon had also contemplated sitting in the bean bag. His awkward sank in being up and away from them. “The snarky comments is the only way I know what I have missed when I sleep.” They would have to be distracted. Maybe they could talk about it some other time or not at all. Taking his seat next to Chess, he leaned back on the bed and pulled another pillow to under his head. “Don’t let Hermit hit me again, please.” He said as another way to take their minds off of everything that just happened. He did not want to lessen the kiss experience, but not focus on it too. The hug was nice, familiar and something Eliza could definitely handle, resting her head against him for a moment. There were only a few people she was touchy with but once that barrier came down she enjoyed it, enjoyed having someone there. The Jersey Devil never had anyone but Melody had both of them. “I could hit you again.” she leaned around Nate, holding up the pillow still in her hands playfully. Pulling back though, she set the pillow against the bed and laid back, waiting for Nate to settle down between them. “But I’m definitely going to make snarky comments.” she smiled softly, her cheeks still red and smile still awkward. This could still be normal, right? They were still them, not the past. And maybe it was confusing but confusing was not always bad. |