Jaime Freeman / Dorothy Gale (unselfish) wrote in fableless, @ 2016-07-27 00:36:00 |
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Entry tags: | chris hoffman, jaime freeman, matias hernandez rodriguez |
WHO: First Jaime Freeman & Matías Hernandez Rodriguez, then Jaime and Chris Hoffman
WHEN: Monday, July 25th (lunch and evening)
WHERE: Lunch spot and then J/C/E apartment
SUMMARY: Mat and Jaime have lunch and talk a little about things, and then Jaime and Chris have a more serious talk about it.
WARNINGS: Mild swears. Nothing big here. One is in present tense and one in past just fyi.
When Jaime showed up at their meeting spot for lunch, it was as if nothing happened at all. His smile was easy, his manner was friendly, and he was the one who supplied the food this time. He settled down on the bench and offered Mat what he's observed to be a favorite, checking his phone before setting it away. The others might have seen a withdrawn and quiet him, but for now he seemed relaxed. "Are we at a point where we can call this our spot?" “If two dates equates to an ‘our,’ then yes.” Mat is watching for anything off. Thank you Chris for the heads up and added stress. “How was your evening?” He wants to ask are you listening to Rent on repeat, Jaime? "It'd just be easier to say meet at our spot and know what we're talking about, that's what I'm saying." Jaime doesn't blink an eyelash at the question, although he was wary. "It was fine. I got into an epic League of Legends match. I'd get into detail but your eyes would probably glaze over. The end result was I beat him into the ground." “Uh huh.” Let’s go with that, easier than trying to hash out any hidden meaning in a spot being ‘theirs’ anyway. “That sounds… I would say fun but I don’t understand the point of games. But I’m glad you had a ‘fine’ evening.” He sounds a little skeptical about how ‘fine’ J’s evening really was, but hey, it seems like he wants to pretend nothing happened, and Mat’s used to playing along with Jaime by now. Jaime narrows his eyes at Mat and sips his lemonade. Here he is being pleasant, and Mat's being weird. "What's the point of any game? To have fun. Exercise the mind. It's a lot of strategy." He's miserable but at least he's trying. "How was your evening?" “It was fine.” Two can play at this game, although Mat’s not sure why he’s getting pissy about this because he was supposed to be helping diffuse. Not exacerbate. “Cuddles decided he wanted to watch House Hunters International and explain why every apartment and house was unsuitable for cat living.” Jaime smiles, although he's starting to think this isn't going to be a smiling lunch for long. "Your cat sounds hilarious, I wish I could understand him." That's honest at least. He wishes he understood Helo too. "Do I want to know why you're being weird right now?" “Don’t let him hear that. He’ll never shut up.” Caspar is already loud enough. He wishes he had the cat’s sense of self worth and importance, though. “And I’m not being weird, J. I’m just tired.” Of so many things. So, so many things. Jaime stares at him for a good few seconds as he chews instead of talks. He figures taking the time to do that might give him an idea of what to say, but it doesn't. He sighs and leans back. "Tired from lack of sleep or emotionally tired?" Mat just avoids Jaime’s gaze. His food looks so much more interesting. “Both.” Jaime shakes his head, losing some of his ability to mask his misery with a smile, rubbing his eyes. "Was this a bad idea? I just wanted to have a nice lunch with you, M." “I’m not sure.” Might as well be honest. “I don’t want you to be utterly miserable, but I also don’t want you to have to pretend that everything is fine.” When it’s clearly not goes unsaid. "What would be the point in being miserable around you? It'd make you feel guilty, and it's not like you can fix it." Jaime rubs the back of his neck, not knowing how Mat saw through it, but maybe they're spending enough time together he can tell. "I thought I was pretty good at pretending, but I guess not." Mat just shrugs awkwardly. “You’re not the type to get over things quickly, J. It was an educated case. And I’d rather you not hide how you’re feeling from me.” That took some of the wind out of his sails, and he slumped, looking down at his sandwich. "What do you expect me to say? I feel like shit. But I want you to like being around me so I tried to be less depressing." “I do like being around you, but relationships also have times where one person isn’t in a great mood. If you insist upon being cheerful and likable all the time, then how am I to know if I can handle you in a not so great mood?” Jaime just shoots him a partially amused look. "I think you're pretty aware of what I'm like in a not so great mood, Mat." “Point taken.” Mat just smiles at him. “But my point is that if you’re serious about this, ignoring anything upsetting is not the way to show it.” "I'm not ignoring it, I am letting myself feel like shit until I get past it. You can't expect me to bounce back after a day. But you know I'm hurt and why, so I'm not sure what can be accomplished by talking about it." Jaime's calm about it. Sad but calm. "How can you doubt at this point that I'm not serious about this? What do I have to do to prove it?" Mat sighs. He really is hoping that Chris won’t kill him later for the continuing of Rent because he’s really not handling this as well as he’d hoped. “I don’t doubt that you’re serious.” Or at least that he thinks he’s serious. “I’m just trying to point out that trying to act as if everything is okay when it’s not is not a good thing. I can still enjoy your company if you’re upset.” Probably. "No, you can't," Jaime responds bluntly. "We've had enough of being miserable around each other to last a lifetime. What's going on right now is my issue, and I'm handling it." Jaime rolls his eyes and then sets the food to the side, reaching out to touch Mat's face with his hand gently. "You make me happy, M. Sometimes you also make me miserable. But I like you, and I want to be around you, and I don't want to dwell on my bullshit angst when we don't have a lot of time together today." “I didn’t say I could enjoy your company when you’re screaming at me and accusing me of things,” Mat points out. But he leans into Jaime’s touch and closes his eyes. “I like you, too, J. Please stop your bullshit angst from taking form of Rent on repeat if you haven’t already started to torture Chris and Em with it.” Jaime leans in to kiss him softly. "No screaming and accusing you," he promises. He doesn't care if anyone came by them right now or not, even if it's very unlikely considering the reason this place was chosen. "Today," a half tease. The reference made him pause, and any feelings he has on the matter are not important. He brushes fingers through Mat's hair. "I don't want to do that, I want to do this." He kisses him again. Nothing inappropriate for PDA, light and harmless. But for them, it was more serious. “Appreciate it,” Mat murmurs against Jaime’s lips. He lifts a hand to cup Jaime’s cheek and lets his thumb brush against it. “Definitely prefer this to Rent-filled angst.” He leans his head into the touch for a moment and smiles at Mat, a real smile, the only sadness left at the edges of his eyes. But it wasn't that easy to exorcise. "So do I." He nudges Mat's nose with his own affectionately. "When do I get to see you next?" “Dinner later this week? We could go out.” If Jaime suggested going public, then he probably wouldn’t mind being seen together even if Mat refuses to give in quickly. Still, he wants at least some normal date experiences, and if anyone asks, well, Mat won’t lie. Jaime lifts his head away from Mat because he got so easily distracted when they were almost kissing. He knows what's behind the question and what it means. He takes Mat's hand in his, intertwining their fingers. It's not that the fear is gone, it just seems less pressing than Mat's suggestion. "Yes, let's do that. Anywhere you want to go. Are you going to make me wait all the way to Friday?" His eyes say that he knows exactly what he's agreeing to. “Thursday, maybe?” One day sooner than Friday, but significantly less popular of a date night. He might not mind being seen in public with Jaime, and Jaime might be convinced he doesn’t mind being seen with Mat, but being cautious still seems wise. “I’ll figure out somewhere later and let you know.” "It's a date," Jaime says firmly. His stubbornness was planning on winning out over his cowardice. He has faith in that. He kisses Mat firmly, as if to say so there. "Now that the angst portion of this conversation is done, why don't you tell me what you're teaching this week?" It is not to be polite. Jaime loves hearing about folklore. His interest is real. Later that evening…. Jaime spent most of his time after the lunch thinking about what was said about the lunch. And work of course, which was helpfully distracting, but he rolled over a few things in his head. It was why when he got back to their apartment, he went immediately to Chris' room and didn't bother to knock. He swung the door open and leaned on the frame, eyes narrowed. "So, you ratting me out to Mat, is this going to be a regular thing now? Just so I know." Chris had been sitting at his desk, enjoying the silence and paying his bills when Jaime appeared in his doorway. The sudden appearance didn’t bother him, as all three siblings regularly barged in and out of one another’s rooms. But the attitude warranted a raised eyebrow. Chris sat back in his chair and flipped his pen idly around his fingers. “And hello to you too. Good day?” The corner of his mouth twitched ever so slightly in a smile. Jaime had certainly been on one with the dramatics lately. "It could've been better." Jaime crossed arms against his chest. He'd come back the night before the lowest he'd been in a long time. All he did was crawl into bed and not talk to anyone, until he was forced to go into work and go through the motions. He still could feel that somewhere in him, the urge to crawl under the covers and not come out, but he was standing and talking well enough to keep on with it. "I'll be sure to crank up I'll Cover You as loud as possible this time around. And not the better sad version. The annoying poppy one." Chris smirked. “You can sure try. Not sure how well it’ll go over for ya, though.” "You think I'm not tech savvy enough to fix whatever you did? Or put the movie on the living room TV on full? Where there's a petty will, there's a petty way." Jaime's annoyed for sure. "How much did he tell you?" He couldn’t help himself then, and Chris let out a brief laugh. He didn’t doubt that Jaime would do exactly that. But the smile faded as his brother got directly to the point. He exhaled lightly. “He told me the basics. You wanted to dive into things head first and he was hesitant. Then Rent.” His expression softened. “You want to talk about it?” Jaime rolled his eyes. "Hesitant, more like flat out rejected me." For a month at least, but to Jaime, that was still a no. He knew there was more to it, but as usual he was focused on the wrong parts. "I don't get him. Over and over he tells me he wants to be in a relationship with me, that he hates us being hidden and wants to commit. He sang a damn passive aggressive song at me at karaoke, because he hates us being private. And then when I say fuck it, sure, he says no." So apparently he did want to talk about it. Chris set his pen down and leaned forward in his chair. “He’s not rejecting you, Jaim. I know it feels like it. You were expecting him to be excited and happy about it, and he wasn’t. That stings. But you’re not looking at the big picture here, which is what Mat is trying to do. It’s not just about being out in public together. This thing you guys have is important to him, and he wants to make sure you guys are stable before you go running headlong into things. It’s just taking things slowly for a couple of weeks so you both feel comfortable with everything. That’s not unreasonable.” "No, that's what I wanted, it was my idea, it's what I said, and he wasn't happy with it. He made it clear to me that he wasn't happy with what we were doing, so I decided to try and make him happy. You think I want to shout to the town that I'm dating who should be my mortal enemy? You think our parents and traditional friends are going to let me hear the end of it?" Jaime was more than a little annoyed now. He was angry. He didn't get to be angry at Mat, so now he was being angry in general instead. "This is all crap anyway. He's probably still sleeping with his ex and just waiting to see which one of the two of us he prefers at the end of the month. Can't commit to me when Marcello is back in his life. You saw them dancing." Mat saw no one else in the room. Jaime left. "I should sleep with all my exes and see what he says then." But of course Jaime wouldn't. He couldn't imagine touching anyone but Mat, which was frustrating. Chris took the brunt of Jaime’s anger like a champ. He understood that his brother wasn’t mad at him specifically. Just mad in general. And better that Jaime get it out on him then Mat or someone else. He kept his expression calm. “He’s not waiting to compare the two of you at the end of the month.” Chris leaned his arms on his lap and clasped his hands loosely. “So if the whole thing was your idea in the first place, why the change of heart on Sunday?” "I know he's not," Jaime grumped. His intense jealousy was not based in reality, necessarily. "That's the stupid fear talking." The fear that Mat was doing exactly that and he was going to be left at the end of the month. Which he generally always expected, sooner or later. He looked down and then shrugged, the question maybe a little more introspective than he wanted to consider. "It felt right. It felt worth the risk. I'm happy when I'm with him." He sighed. "I just asked myself why we weren't, and no reason seemed good enough then." Chris gave Jaime a reassuring smile. “I’m glad that you’re happy when you’re with him. And believe me, I know how happy he can be with you too. But you can get caught up in the moments and it’s jarring when you pull a 180 like that.” Jaime scowled. "Human equivalent of whiplash here. I know I do it. It makes a lot more sense in my head." Because he knew where the connections were and how much brooding and thought went into every decision. It wasn't impulsive, not as much as it seemed. "It doesn't change that this is what he told me over and over again that he wanted, he made me feel guilty about not giving it to him, and then refused it when offered. I seriously can't win. He's never happy with me." “He’s not refusing you, Jaim. You’ve got to stop looking at it like that. You two are always so damn worried about giving the other what they want. Just try to take a step back for a minute. You know that waiting a little longer is the smarter choice. That’s why you wanted it in the first place.” "Easy for you to say. You weren't the person who put his heart out there and got it kicked back." Jaime didn't handle rejection well, and that was a serious understatement. Or the feeling of rejection, in this case. "I know, logically, it's wiser to give us time. I know, logically, he meant what he said about wanting to not screw it up by going too fast." He shook his head. "But I didn't want logic. I wanted to go for it. It's not like this between us has actually been only a few weeks. We've been hung up on each other for years. It's time. It's gotta be." “I know,” he shook his head slightly. Mat had said the same thing to him earlier. He knew it was always easier to give good advice as an outsider looking in. God knows he couldn’t seem to manage it in his own relationships. “But I’m here to be the one with the slightly irritating, yet well intentioned good advice. Like you said, you guys have been hung up on each other for years. That’s a lot of baggage, man. And that doesn’t go away overnight just because you want to go for it. I’m saying this as your brother who wants to see you guys not fuck things up this time- you need to go slow here, Jaime. You’ll end up slamming into another roadblock because you won’t see it coming.” Jaime knew it was easier giving people advice from the outside. He'd given good advice to others before, even recently, with his love life being an absolute disaster. Why was it so easy to see things clearly that way? "It doesn't matter what I think or want at this point. The ball is in his court." He smiled wryly. "Seems fair that it is, for once. It's been in mine for a long while and look what a fuck up I made of that." Of course it mattered what Jaime wanted. That seemed to be 90% of Mat’s decision making process when it came to their relationship. But Chris wasn’t about to pipe up with that comment now. “Well at least you can take comfort in the fact that my track record is just as awful as yours and I’m still standing.” Standing alone after having sworn off dating, sure. But standing nonetheless. “So I say we forget about it for a couple of hours, grab some Thai food, have some beers, and mock Emerson’s bowling abilities.” Jaime chuckled and waved a hand, relaxing from his tense posture. This didn't really make him feel much better, but he knew that was something he'd just bounce back from on his own. His moods had to play themselves out. "Your track record is mostly because the other person is a problem. But I guess your attraction to them plays in." Jaime was the problem in his, but on the surface he seemed like a good choice. Little did they know. "And don't think I missed Nichole's post just because I was caught up in my angst." Chris was up and out of his chair then. The rest of his bills could be paid tomorrow. He gave his brother a shove out of the doorway and followed after when he stumbled into the hallway. “Like I said,” he laughed. “Terrible track record. But at least I haven’t made any new terrible life choices just yet. Give her a few more days in town first. Then we’ll see. But until then we are done moping for the night.” Jaime was far from done moping, but he would at least put his headphones on when he listened to Rent again. "Yet being the key word." He smiled and it was a little more genuine than before, although it didn't reach his eyes. He nudged Chris with his shoulder as they walked toward the living room. "Thanks for putting up with said moping." Chris looked over at him and let out a soft laugh. “Welcome. Does that mean you’ll spare me the poppy I’ll Cover You at full volume?” "This time," confirmed Jaime. |