Mag Paget, Shotgun Knight (clippedwing) wrote in emillion, @ 2014-02-23 16:19:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, !log, aspel cassul, magnolia paget |
Who: Magnolia Paget & Aspel Cassul
What: A confrontation, of sorts.
Where: Aspel's office in Bahamut Hall
When: 2/1 (backdated)
Rating: PG
Status: Complete!
It had taken Mag a few days to put the pieces together. So much had happened in the previous days that at first she had not thought much of it. When either she or Aspel were busy, sometimes they went a few days without seeing each other. But there were usually network conversations, or some kind of contact, as checking in on each other had become second nature for them. Not this time. At first she had dismissed it as pure coincidence, but the thought that something was up kept nagging at her. Her intuition rarely led her astray. And the moment that she opened the door to Aspel’s office at Bahamut and slipped inside, and saw the look on her friend’s face, she knew she had been right. She closed the door after her and leaned back against it, casual enough. “Hey, stranger,” she said. “Busy morning?” Aspel had learned the trick to best assure not being caught while slacking off at this job. Honestly, it was almost hilariously easy when it was taken into consideration how simple it really was. One simply had to place a sheet of blank paper off center of a piece of paperwork, and use the section of the paper that wasn’t covered by the actual work to doodle, make notes or other on. Sometimes, a notepad made it even simpler depending on what she should be working on. If it was a document that needed calculations or notes to be made about it, then well… It left Aspel with the perfect plan to work on some of her smithing designs, or creatively start hashing out the details for her next masterpiece. When the noise of her door opening struck, the smith simply made movement to look like she was organizing her paperwork, calmly shifting the sheet of doodles, and designs behind that of the actual work she should be doing before looking up. Oh. “A bit, yes.” A sweeping gesture of her hand was given towards the piles of paperwork on her desk. “I fear the longer I maintain this position, the greater the piles shall become.” As much as Aspel tried to muster good humor, and work orientation to her voice, it just wouldn’t come. Damn. The shuffling of the papers did not escape Mag. She did not see the words or the doodles on them, but the contents of the documents Aspel handled in her work as Councilor had never concerned her. It wasn’t her job to know what they said. All those times Aspel had done paperwork at Mag’s apartment, Mag had never made any conscious effort to see what the papers said, and Aspel had never gone out of her way to keep them out of sight. But now she was. It would be a lie to say it didn’t sting. “I think I’ve suggested this before, but we could always fake some kind of household accident and make sure all those papers go up in flames.” She was joking, but it wasn’t the same carefree tone she would normally take. And because there was no point beating around the bush, she added, “Maybe if we burn them, you won’t be as busy and you can stop avoiding me.” "Ah, I suspect we could, but somehow I fear they may have creatd copies of copies of these forms, thus leaving me forever in their webs of doom." Really, Aspel was trying her best to make the jokes come naturally, to let herself relax a bit more, and just let their banter go on, but... Even she could tell that the previous sentence came out awkward, and a bit clunky at best. Then came the harder part of their interaction to deal with. "Ah, well..." What could she even say to that? "What makes you believe I have been avoiding you?" Certainly she hadn't sought Mag out but... It couldn't be that easy to prove she'd actively been avoiding the other woman, right? There was the flicker of a smile at Aspel's attempt at humor, but no matter how much Mag wanted to joke along with her as they always did, that would have to wait. "Just a hunch." She shrugged. "I suppose there are times when we go days or even weeks without seeing much of each other, but something feels off this time." Her smile turned wry. "And you're not denying it." “Ah.” Once again, Aspel was stuck in a spot that she hadn’t the faintest how to approach it, or even remotely what to say. Where did they go from here? A hand gestured to a chair in front of her desk. If they were going to have it out, they both may as well be comfortable. “Well?” What was Mag looking for her to say? Mag took a seat and held back the impulse to fidget. Bad enough that she had been right, and if Aspel really was avoiding her, would she even be willing to talk about it or try to cut the conversation short? She fixed her eyes on a mug on Aspel's desk, then forced herself to meet her friend's eye. "I guess just start by telling me where I messed up," she said. "If I did something that bothered you and that's why you're avoiding me." Knowing Aspel, the whole thing was far more likely to be motivated by a perceived shortcoming on Aspel's side plus her own unique brand of logic, but it did not hurt to be sure. One close friend angry at Mag was more than enough. “You have not.” The words were certain, quick. Mag had committed no wrong, Aspel just….. She couldn’t handle herself. She was straying so far from all she had worked for. The combination of addiction, guilt, and lack of self worth was eating her alive, and she had to break away, to try to gather herself together by destroying herself more for a little bit and… “I simply needed time.” Why, how, for what? Those were all very good questions, weren’t they? Mag suppressed a sigh. “I would have given you as much time as you needed, if you’d asked. I do know when to leave well enough alone,” she said, wry. “Sometimes.” Reproach, she knew, wasn’t going to get them anywhere. If anything, it would make Aspel blame herself for one more thing—as if she needed any help beating herself up. This time, Mag did sigh. “Listen, I’m not angry,” she said. “I just wanted to make sure we’re cool.” “I…” Perhaps a bit of truth would not hurt. “Sometimes, asking for distance defeats the purposes of attempting to have it in certain instances.” Which was true for Aspel. To need distance, in certain instances, and to have to declare the need for space and time to one’s self, made it harder to fully feel like one really had what they needed which was solitude. If everyone knew you were trying to engage in solitude didn’t that… ? Ah, well. Sometimes, emotions were complicated things. “We are fine.” “Okay. I’m glad.” What else was there to say? Whether Aspel still needed space or not, she didn’t know and couldn’t ask. Perhaps there was no option but to let things run their course. She stood up to leave, offering a weak smile as she did. Before she reached the door, however, she turned and said, “Lavitz is staying at my place these days, but if you need anything, just let me know, all right?” At the end of the day, offering her support was all she could do. |