. (singapore) wrote in emillion, @ 2014-02-10 15:11:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, !log, caspar vaux, siri d'albis |
Who: Caspar & Siri
When: During this
What: Reunion.
Rating: Low.
Status: Complete.
It was late. She didn’t need to look at a clock to know, it was obvious whenever she looked out a window, watching the shifting spheres outside. Stars moved. Slow but certain, fulfilling their intended trajectories in an eternal cycle. Until they burnt out. Her dark eyes were fixed on no particular star; Siri was still waiting for that particular person. She would wait until the end of the night if that was required, as long as she found them. Clasping her left wrist with her right hand fingers she stood and continued to wait. The noise rose; buzzing incessantly until she had to shut her eyes to drown it out. (It was not buzzing, but music — just music). White-washed silence. Snapping her eyes opened she saw it: what she had been waiting for — it dashed across the sky and was gone. Siri followed with her eyes the imaginary path it would have taken inside this room; it lead her straight to him. Cas For a moment she was content to observe, trace the lines and draw the differences from her memory and dreams to the reality of now. That white silence ended and Siri felt the room move again, people dancing, talking — they were all ignored as she tread a certain path from her spot to his. Words didn’t come, tongue-tied and awed that he really was here, instead she reached out with one dainty hand to touch his arm. The ball had exhausted Caspar. There had been few moments of brightness and laughter, but those had been too few and too far between. The endless hours of having to make good impressions and pretend to know family trees had worn him down to his core, to where he felt like a hollow man in an expensive suit. More flutes of champagne had been downed in an attempt to make things bearable than he cared to count, but to no avail; if anything, now he had a sharp pain shooting across his temples in addition to his abject misery. He tried to smile at the pretty young things in the flowing dresses that went out of their way to catch his gaze as they passed by, and made a good show of it, even though he knew that anyone paying attention could see that his smile never quite reached his eyes. This spectacle of a ball had done what even brutal, bloody battle rarely could — it had worn him down and defeated him. The fingers on his arm sent a jolt of lightning across his arm, even through the fabric of his suit. His exhausted mind could not comprehend what was happening, but his body knew. Whether it was the pressure of the hand, the way it was angled, or just the scent of her, he would never be able to tell, but he knew. He knew it was Siri before he turned to see her, before he caught the hand in his own and pulled her in towards him. In retrospect, Caspar knew he should have said something before embracing her — a 'hello', or a 'Siri!'. Even an 'Ajora's balls, Siri, why the hell didn't you come find me?' would have sufficed. Instead he had acted on pure instinct, needing to hold her to him and feel her warmth to convince him she was actually here. This tiny little black mage fit moved in sync with the hand on hers, knowing exactly how to settle - recalling how it felt years ago. Rictor had held time and released it back to her — as Cas embraced her, he took it and swallowed it (Siri) whole. The entire room ceased to exist, blanketed from her senses as if it a white light had engulfed everyone else. “Cas, Cas, Cas.” She muttered his name, face pressed against him. And for someone whose words were everything and nothing, Siri didn’t need to hear Cas say anything; holding her was enough. Tonight’s purpose had come to pass as she had seen, coming together perfectly and she wished to cry and beg for him never to leave her again. Cas and Ric had to stay. How long they stood there, he could never be able to tell. The sounds around them had faded to a buzz, the colors blurring around the dark-haired figure in his arms. Siri brought with her all of the (few) memories of Kerwon of which he was fond, lifting the weariness from his bones and his heart. She was his past unfolded, standing in front of him for the world to see. Sure, Rictor Cassul was a flesh and blood reminder of where he came from as well, but Rictor's presence was like the scar on his left arm — annoying to look at but comforting in its constance. Rictor was a reminder of who Caspar was and where he had come from; Siri was a reminder of who he wanted to be and where he wanted to go. Finally forcing himself to pull away from her, Caspar stepped back to look at her properly. Fondness flooded him as he took in the features that were changed yet somehow the same, and he resisted the urge to embrace her again. "Siri." His voice was soft, barely a whisper over the conversations of the crowds. "It is actually you. Faram knows I've missed you." He reached out and pushed her hair away from her face so as to make sure he was not dreaming. "I had hoped — when Cassul told me you were here yesterday — I did not think you would find me." "I've been waiting for you tonight." Her tone left no room for doubt that she had come here to find him, knowing he would be here. Logic dictated that of course it was likely that Caspar would attend this ball, but it was not certain — she had never thought twice about the possibility of him not coming. She leaned against his touch, then placed her hand over his; the implicit Stay audible between them, a plea: Don't leave. Deteriorated as she had since Rictor's leave from Kerwon, she felt -already- better. "I'll always find you. We are brought together by Faram." The three of them were bound together, Siri had no doubt of that. "Ric brought time back, now you can have it and stay. Time doesn't matter." It was a testament to their long-standing friendship that Caspar did not bat an eye at her declaration. Siri knew perfectly well how much stock he put in religion, yet he had to admit that there had been many times in the past when she had seemed to know with certainty what was coming his way. Almost every major event in his life she had claimed to foresee, including his move away from Kerwon, from her, to freedom in Emillion. "I should have known you'd find me." He smiled, winding her fingers around his own. "I'm sorry I thought I would never see you again." Loathe as he was to admit it, Caspar had left a part of him behind when he had left Siri and Rictor in Kerwon after qualifying as a Sentinel. Rictor had come to Emillion the next year, but Siri? Siri had stayed behind, and he had had to box her away in his mind as a sweet, bright sun in his past. "No, it does not. Not when we finally have time on our side once again." He closed the distance between them and dropped a kiss on her forehead, a frequent gesture of affection from their past. "Thank you for waiting for me tonight." He did not know how she had known where he would be or how desperately he needed to see a comforting face, but Caspar was grateful nonetheless. "Are you here with Ric or did you come alone?" Caspar did not even realize he had used the friendly version of Rictor's name; it was a slip he would never have made in front of anyone but Siri. Siri smiled, eyes fluttering close when his lips touched her forehead, it was comforting. It was home. He was home: familiar, warm and solid. An anchor in the miasma of her mind, because it no longer was a conundrum - but more. "Alone." The use of use of the nickname caused her smile to grow a fraction, but she didn't point out the slip. Such a little accident had said so many things, Caspar would never say. "We would have seen each other again, even if it had been just at the end." She knew that they would have met, if something horrible had happened to her, she had the certainty that Ric and Cas would come help her. Or watch her at the end. "Are you happy?" She had asked Rictor the same question, waiting for the answer - same or more or less? Her fingers tightened around his own, she wouldn't let him go now. Caspar stepped back but kept the hold on her hand, completely intent on holding it until he had seen her safely home. "I am glad it did not come to that, and never will. Life's too damn long to wait until the end." They were bold words coming from a sentinel, but Caspar was both confident and foolish enough to dream of old age. "I prefer seeing each other now. I think I'll stick with it." "Let me walk you home?" It was more of a statement than an assertion, and Caspar led them towards the doors without waiting for an answer. He needed to talk to her where the would could not overhear. This needed to be between them and the cold night air. "I thought I was happy, yeah, but I'm happier now that you're here." So much happier, in fact, that he was only realizing just how large a piece of his life had been missing all these years. "You can't go back, Siri." I can't let you. Siri had no intentions of releasing his hand either, so it worked just fine; she was smiling widely and nodding. Statement or question, the outcome was only one: Caspar would walk her home and that was that. “As long as I can stay with you, I will.” She didn’t want to leave him again either, but things worked out in ‘mysterious’ ways. “I never want to leave you or Ric again.” Siri allowed herself to admit that as they headed out of this ball towards what she now knew as her home. Knowing that she had made a difference to his happiness made her selfishly content and she allowed herself that, clinging - desperately - “Don’t let me go back though, Cas.” she added, more herself than mad prophet in her voice, “Don’t ever let me go away. Don’t ever let me go back to Kerwon alone. I couldn’t stand it.” Her sanity depended on Rictor and Caspar. Caspar squeezed her hand and led her out into the night, pulling her to his side so she wouldn't be bothered by the chill air. "Well, good. We'll make sure you won't have to. Where are you staying? I can come with you there or you can come back with me to my place." What would have been a bold offer to make to any other woman felt natural with Siri. They had not seen each other in years. What could be more normal than two friends talking through the night and catching up? Fuck society and its expectations; this felt right. He heard the fear in voice and released her hand, instead wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "I won't, Siri. I promise." Another kiss, this one to the side of her head. "Now that you've come back to us we'll make sure you stay." He didn't think twice about including Rictor in his promise. They might bicker and brawl about everything under the sun, but this one thing they would always agree on. "You'll never have to go back alone." She was spoiled by his affection and Siri made her world small again — Caspar and Rictor - those were the ones who mattered within this city. Everyone else could wait. They were the only people she required to ground herself, the only people she felt connected with. Not as a prophet or a woman or something complicated — she was Siri and only that. “I want to stay with you tonight.” She bit her lip briefly and then straightened to kiss his jaw - chaste and affectionate and familiar. It made her warm and content and reluctant to let this go. “I don’t want to go back to Kerwon without you and Ric. Not now.” Maybe it would not ever be right for them Maybe it would not be right of them to return to Kerwon ever, and that was okay. Siri feared it — at night, the dreams of the woodpile burning - the flames reaching high - towards Faram, offering them this blemish. This mistake. He nodded and smiled at the kiss. "I think you'll like my place. It's nothing like the halls I used to live in while training in Kerwon." Caspar's heart felt light and carefree, as though the entire evening of misery had been experienced by someone else. "Would you be okay never going back at all?" Caspar fully intended on never going back to Kerwon for good, even if he left Emillion. And as far as he could tell, Rictor too had found happiness here. "Don't worry," he grinned, affectionately caressing her arm, "you'll love this city. I can show you all the best places, and the places to avoid. I guess Rictor can help too," he added as an afterthought. She made herself a second shadow, all her limbs and movements part of his own — a second breath, a second heartbeat. “Yes. I’d be okay with that.” Because right now all that mattered was staying close to the most important people in her life. The ones who waited for her once she stepped out of visions and dreams and nightmares. “Rictor can always come too, we’d be lost without him.” Perhaps not literally, but metaphorically. The cool air at night felt so far away, protected as she was by Cas’ arm, Siri leaned closer- as much as she could without hindering their movements along the streets. “I don’t care about this city. Just you two.” The city could burn to the ground as long as the three walked out unscathed. Siri didn’t dare to look at Cas when making such a declaration, she stared ahead — madness and anger and fate all heavy in her eyes. "Well, that's a stretch." Caspar always made an exception for Siri when it came to Rictor, holding his tongue as much as he could. But insinuating that Caspar would be lost without the guy was taking it too damn far. He would be bored, sure. Rictor was a good laugh when he wasn't being an ass and could hold his own in a fight but Caspar's life wouldn't end without the guy. "But I guess he can come if you want." If there was one person who could keep the men calm and force them to co-exist, it was Siri. When she insisted the men get along, for whatever reason, they both (begrudgingly) assented. Caspar laughed. The flat assertion was so like Siri, so like its many brethren she had just as brazenly declared in the past. Ajora's balls, he had missed her. "You say that now, but I know you. You'll come to love this place as much as I do, even if it means dealing with these atrocious Balls every so often." The pair continued making their way through the night, looking to curious eyes like any other set of entwined lovers. If having her wrapped against his side made it difficult to navigate the streets, Caspar showed no signs of it or of any willingness to let her go now that she was there. "He told me he saw you, you know," Caspar finally said, his voice sharper than he had expected. The fact that Rictor had found Siri before him had irked him all last night, all day today, and had been festering underneath his happiness even now. It was a stupid thing to be upset about, he knew, but that knowledge somehow made it even worse. The important thing was that she was here now, and it should not have mattered which man got to tell the other about it. But it did. Boys Siri smiled fondly, that deep rivalry tinged with respect and a constant need to upstage the other — it was like home. “Maybe I’ll like the place, but I’ll love you two more.” So in that respect, they would come first always. If this city were to be burned to the ground, would she really not care? Logic told Siri that yes, she wouldn’t. No matter how cold it sounded to say it like that. “The ice statues were nice.” Pressing against his side to keep warm, Siri didn’t even attempt to divert her attention to anything around them. There were people who passed by and cobbed streets beneath them, sewers that ran along below. The topic shifted to Rictor and Siri couldn’t help but look amused, lip twitching as she tried to hold back a wide grin. “He found me first, yes but I didn’t stay as long with him as I am with you now.” Offering a small conciliatory piece of information, an attempt to keep the scores even. Maybe it was futile, but Siri never wanted the scores to be too different (then again, it was impossible for them to be vastly different, even if she stayed out of them. The two held their own balance). Regardless of how he felt about the city, Caspar knew he couldn't argue with that. As a Sentinel he knew his duty obliged him to put the greater good of the city above all else, and even though he knew he could sacrifice his own life, he couldn't be sure he'd act the same if the life of someone he loved were at stake. Siri was neither duty nor honor-bound to value strangers over her friends; of course she would choose the latter. He chuckled at the mention of ice statues. "There were ice statues in there? I didn't even notice." Yet another reminder of how awful his Faramforsaken night had been. Annoyed as he was at Rictor's victory, Caspar couldn't help a begrudging smile. "I guess that's always how it has been, isn't it? He finds you first, but I keep you longer." He didn't mind the arrangement, in the end, because it meant he got to spend more time with the young woman he felt such great affection for. Time flew by as they trod from one street to the next, talking about nothing and everything as they caught up. Before long they had entered the Nobles' district, distinct in its elegant architecture and wide open spaces. "This is it," he gestured towards his place as they climbed the stairs, a tingle of nervous excitement in the base of his gut. "This is where I've been all these years." A beat's pause. "I hope you like it." “It’s yours.” That itself was enough for her to like it, though she lingered a little bit behind — gathering the moment and holding it. Fragments that would be tucked away into her memory, lost in dreams and brought back in intermittent refractions. Siri reached out, clasping his hand once more. “I can stay, yes, tonight? Really?” She frowned, “Or am I sleeping again? No, you are here. Solid. Cas.” His hand was real, Siri brought her lips and pressed them against the back. Warm. His (hers) pulse fluttered beneath the skin. Caspar squeezed her hand and led her into the house, letting her linger as long as she needed to take the place in. "Yes, of course you can stay." He paused when she began to question her reality, watching her as she brought his hand to her lips. "I'm here, Siri." Leaning forward, he planted another kiss on the crown of her head. "Now that you're in Emillion, I always will be." |