Who: Audrey Leradine w/ Miles Baines, Damia Ravin & Loch Lemach What: In which Audrey grows a subtle regret in bothering to apologize to TG members. Where: Various Locations When: December 4th (backdated) Rating: PG-13? Ide. Status:complete
It wasn’t until noon that Audrey rolled out of bed. It was the first sleep she had without the excruciating feeling of not being able to breathe. Despite the winter weather, the world looked a lot brighter. She had to do it today, any more postponing and she’d abandon the idea altogether. First it would be Miles' house. The other two women would be a lot more difficult to apologize to, particularly Loch whom Aud had already saved for last.
Audrey had opted to walk; having been bedridden for the past week, she felt she needed to stretch her legs again. What she didn’t expect was how tired she’d be just getting to the commoner’s district. Stopping at Baines’ porch, she leaned against the wall for a minute, regaining her strength. Hopefully he’d be home, she didn’t bother to message anyone.
Straightening herself out, she stood in front of the door and rapped three times.
It took a while before there was the sound of any movement inside. When the door finally cracked open, the mime on the other side looked disheveled and rumpled (actors generally didn’t stir until later in the day, all their schedule built around afternoon and evening shows), and a little surprised.
“You look like shit,” Miles said plainly.
The comment caught her off guard and she stared back at him with narrowed eyes, both confused and annoyed. "Thanks," she blinked slowly. "Did I wake you up?"
“Somewhat. I was napping.” They stood staring at each other; Miles seemed reluctant to relent, until he finally took a step back and cracked the door open to allow her to enter. The cure had started making its way sporadically through the city, and it seemed it had finally made its way around to her. (She was probably high on the list of recipients, he thought. Noble titles really did go so far.)
“Not at death’s door anymore, then?”
"It appears so. Though thanks for your concern." She stepped in, eyes gazing around the place. "Has Lionel received the cure?" She stood in the middle, much like an awkward child unsure of what to do. Their entire relationship had been built on insulting each other that being kind and familiar felt foreign to her.
“Not yet.” The man’s mouth tightened. There was little other sign of tension – Miles was good at modulating his expressions, canting them to display only what he wanted to – but he still noticeably clammed up. Evidently the subject of Lionel was not a safe or particularly welcome one, especially coming from a fellow thief.
“Why are you here, Alys?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t. I thought. I—” Abort mission, abort mission.
“A network post could’ve sufficed, if you were just going to announce that you’re all better.” Miles arched an eyebrow, leaning against the back of his sofa and watching the girl verbally stumble. “At least your condition didn’t endanger the heist.”
Audrey’s eyes dropped to the floor, listening. For the first time in months she wasn’t angry. Her mouth tightened as she closed her eyes. “That’s not it,” she took some courage. “I wanted to say I’m sorry. I’ve been terrible to you since you returned. I don’t even know why I’m mad at you anymore. Was I ever even mad? I was terrible recently with Damia and Loch. It was a petty thing, really.”
That gave him pause, the apology seeping into the space between them. Miles forced himself to relax, brow furrowing and staring at the ninja. Had she hit herself on the head? Had she been thrown from another chocobo?
“Funny, what a mere brush with death can accomplish,” he said, still tartly. “Just like a born-again Pharist, all contrition after the shit’s hit the fan.” Audrey had turned away from him, biting her lip. It took a lot of her patience to deal with Miles and his little snips weren’t helping her at all.
Why was she terrible to Damia and Loch in particular? An inconvenient question, one he didn’t especially want to examine. Finally, the man eased, shaking his head. “Apology accepted. And I am glad you’re well.” A twitch of the mouth. “Who would be the crew’s dedicated ninja otherwise?”
His last sentence caused a very slight smile to pull at her lips, though it vanished quickly. “Loch got caught. That can’t happen again. This was all fun and games until we faced repercussions. You can ruin yourself. You can ruin all of us.”
“Occupational hazard,” Miles responded.
"Just an occupational hazard?" Audrey repeated, completely baffled by his lack of concern. "You're not taking any of this serious are you?"
“On the contrary.” His jaw tightened even further, his hands locking on the back of the sofa. “I take the job extremely seriously. Perhaps moreso than anything else in my life. What in the world makes you think different?”
“That you would throw your life, or our lives for that matter, away for something so trivial—that’s what I can’t seem to understand. We’re not stealing out of need, we’re stealing out of some sense of vanity. Just because we can. I can’t imagine even imagine what you’ll do to that coeurl.”
That thought made him pause. “It’s not entirely some sense of vanity,” Miles said stiffly. “We’re cutting nobles down to size. We’re levelling the playing field. Funding further projects. And what else I do with the money is none of your business, Alys—I don’t need to defend myself to you, for god’s sake.”
Audrey stepped back as she watched him curiously. Her lips parted, as if she was caught in her words. “This is jealousy.”
“What?” Miles finally recoiled, stepping away from the sofa and narrowing his eyes at the ninja. It was like having a spotlight directed on him, uncomfortably sharp and analytical. He fumed like a trapped feline, seething. “I thought you said this was a bloody apology. Not an, oh, let’s go over to Miles’ home and criticise his life choices session.”
Audrey flinched at his words, stepping back. It was unlike her. Typically she would stand her ground, puff herself up, and commit to her words. She didn’t look at him, but she nodded, taking a tone she usually saved for Fumiya. “I apologize. I’ll leave now.”
That uncharacteristically contrite behaviour from Audrey might ordinarily have made him hesitate, but his fuse had been lit in his own display of uncharacteristic temper—less of Miles’ usual over-dramatic huster and bluster, more genuine ire.
“Yes, you’d better,” he said, already striding over towards the door. All of Miles’ drowsiness had been banished, replaced by wide-awake irritation. He opened the door again (it seemed like just a few minutes ago that she’d entered with friendliness and apologies) and held it open, leaning against it and scowling, the gesture evident: leave.
Refusing to make eye contact, she followed behind him until reaching the doorway. It was in that brief moment that her eyes traveled up to get a look at his expression. His glare single handedly slapped her gaze away, looking more and more like a kicked dog as she walked out the door. She had stopped right outside and just before she could turn around to say something, the door slammed.
Damia was second on the list.
It wasn’t dreadfully far from Miles’ own house, still within the same district. Thankfully, she wasn’t out of breath by the time she reached her door. Still, Audrey couldn’t help but pause before she lifted her hand to knock on the door. Damia would be suspicious, certainly. It might even be worse to deliver the apology.
Biting her lower lip, she exhaled and knocked at the door.
The knock came unexpected, as they often did; the only person who had a habit of visiting was Miles, and they rarely scheduled meetings, so Damia paused in her small kitchenette, in the process of throwing her hair up into a ponytail. Quickly snapping the elastic, she approached the front door, notably leaving her dagger on the table in the den, and it was tugged open to reveal—
Audrey?
She raised her brows. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“H-hey,” was all the came out of her mouth as she stared back at the taller blonde. “I was in the district and I thought I’d drop by,” uninvited and unwanted. Audrey’s reached up to scratch the back of her head as her eyes shifted to the side. “I was wondering if you had a minute.”
But Damia’s expression didn’t change as she tilted her head, lips still playing at the ghost of a smile that wasn’t out of displeasure, but amusement. “Oh? I’m so flattered.” The If you’re looking for Miles, his door is down that way went unsaid, but how she meant to say it. After a beat, she added: “Come in and have a drink, or shoo, little noble.”
Because she wasn’t angry with the other girl anymore, though it didn’t mean she deserved all of her hospitality.
Audrey stepped inside, her hands behind her back as she looked around the house curiously. She had never been inside Damia’s house— only knew the general location. It certainly wasn’t a home. Her place was composed of the bare minimum and hardly used. The scent of soup caught her attention and her eyes drifted over to the kitchenette with a busy cutting board full of different vegetables. “Didn’t take you to be a cook,” she mumbled, awkwardly standing in her living room, unsure of what to do.
But the corsair was relatively at ease, padding toward the cutting board in question and picking it up to scrape them into the boiling pot of soup with a knife. Momentarily considering bringing the knife over or playing with it to frighten the other girl, she soon realized that Audrey wouldn’t be too deterred by it, being Guild, and set it aside.
“I’m not,” she admitted, moving toward the small bar by the couch and withdrawing whiskey and a glass. “I cook to keep myself breathing.” The glass and bottle were set on the table, and an expectant look was directed at the ninja. Pour for yourself, it said.
Obediently, the ninja reached for the bottle and poured herself a small amount. Today, Audrey said it was far too early to be drinking. Five years ago, Audrey said it was never too early to be drinking. Taking her cup with an uncertain look, she lifted it towards Damia, before taking a sip and setting it back down.
The burn down her throat didn’t faze her as she thought for a moment on how to approach what she wanted to say. “Hey,” she finally spoke after some moments. “I’m sorry for being a dick.”
As someone who prided herself on being able to mask most emotions, Damia was surprised by her own surprise. The admission came more unexpected than the visit itself, and it flickered across her face, only to be restrained after some seconds had passed. Unsure, at first, how to react to that, she reached for the bottle and took a swig directly from it.
Upon swallowing, she said, “Dare I ask where this is coming from?” An apology from all those months ago seemed a little late, but she’d humor the girl.
Audrey shrugged at the girl, taking another drink of the whiskey. “I guess I don’t want to be that person.” There was another pause, and Aud looked away again, her eyes staring blankly at a wall. In an act of courage, she was able to finally look Damia in the eye and offer her an apologetic smile. “Nah, I was a major dick to you for no reason at all. I have a pitiful temper, and only when I take time to reflect on it do I realize I’m in the wrong.” She shrugged. “Sorry.”
The taller blonde rapped a nail against the whiskey bottle, considering this. Was it a joke? Audrey seemed genuine, but who was she to say what she was or wasn’t? They weren’t friends, never had been, really, but before that mission, things had been relatively cordial between them. Cattiness was something she rather enjoyed, to be truthful, so was she that person? If she didn’t accept the apology, what did that make her?
She sucked in a deep breath, exhaled. “Alright,” was her version of an acceptance, in Damia speak. It was about as good as Audrey was going to get, and while it wouldn’t make them best buds, it was a step back toward what was once moderately pleasant.
“Thanks,” was all she said as she downed the whiskey. “I don’t wish to impose more than I already have.” Aud nodded to the blonde before her eyes darted to the door.
Blue eyes peered at her, taking her in, contemplating. Had finding nobility done something to change her? Was it something she’d eaten? The reason didn’t matter. Neither were upset at the other anymore, and while Damia had expected it to fizzle out, having not anticipated a face-to-face apology in the slightest, she wasn’t opposed to the idea of shaking hands on it.
Her brows rose. “It’s a truce,” she agreed.
A small smile pulled at her lips. “I’ll see you at the next mission, I suppose.” Audrey headed out through the door, raising her hand to wave at the other blonde.
The last one on her list. Audrey had decidedly taken a long break between her apologies to Damia and Loch. She would need the most strength to survive the confrontation with the other ninja. Truthfully, she didn’t even expect the other blonde to take it well. No, not after all of their disagreements. Loch and Audrey were polar opposites in every sense, and if Audrey were to feel guilty then Loch would surely be unrepentant.
Reaching the docks, she had not a clue where to find Loch other than at the harbormaster’s office. Passing through the door, the bell jingled the entrance of a customer as she looked around the crates, waiting.
Loch emerged from the back room. Her expression was polite, a mask carefully constructed for the purpose of dealing with customers; when she saw Audrey, the illusion flickered and died, replaced by raised eyebrows and a tilt of her head.
They had not met since the night of the heist. What Audrey was doing there now, Loch had no idea. Philip had already left for the day, as most of the work had been cleared away in the morning—so, while Audrey’s visit wasn’t what Loch would term a pleasant surprise, at least the odds of two opposite sides of her life colliding were minimal.
She affected a casual air as she approached, as though she wasn’t keeping an eye out for any sudden movement on Audrey’s part. “Audrey.” She did not bother faking enthusiasm. “Shipping manifest? Or did you get the wrong shop?”
“I didn’t know where else to find you,” she answered truthfully.
Audrey’s hand reached to scratch the back of her head. “Uh, I just came by to apologize. I’m,” don’t say uh, “glad you’re okay.”
Silence followed.
All Loch could do was stare.
After a few seconds, she said, "Peachy." She looked at Audrey through narrowed eyes, as if trying to figure out a rationale for what was happening. "You doing okay? Didn't hit your head on the lintel of the door coming in?" A moment later, she shook her head. "No, you're too short."
For a minute Audrey had gone along with it, putting her flat palm on top of her head and following it towards the door, before turning around with a frown and shaking her head. “Naw. I just came by to say I’m sorry for being short-tempered with you, is all.”
The thought occurred to Loch that she was tall enough to have hit her head on the lintel. The idea tugged at the corners of her mouth. Anything seemed likelier than the words coming out of Audrey’s mouth.
It was a tough choice between laughing and asking Audrey where the memstone was. “Right.” She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows. “That plague make you zen? Going to live in a cave in the mountains? Meditate under a waterfall, that sort of thing?”
Sure, it’d be an unexpected development, but not an unpleasant one, in Loch’s opinion.
“For Faram’s sake, it’s as though I’m not allowed to change from the temper tantrum child.” Audrey rolled her eyes, before shrugging the thought off before scoffing. “No, but I’m sure that would be some ridiculous stunt Fumiya would likely put me under, no doubt.”
Loch snorted. "Wouldn't put it past him." The brief moment of genuine amusement surprised her, and she brought the budding laugh under control. It was replaced by a slight frown. "Be straight-up with me now, Audrey. You taking the piss out of me or what?"
The baffled look on Audrey’s face stared back at Loch, mouth slightly parted. “I don’t even know what that means.” Straightening her back out, she crossed her arms over her chest. “Not really. I was just being unreasonable is all.” It was in that moment that a silence struck through them. Audrey obviously had other questions in mind and beating around the bush felt a lot easier.
Exhaling, she didn’t look at her. “How is it so easy for you?” Her words were so genuine, holding absolutely no hostility or contempt. “To disregard others. We’re different like that. I will go out of my way for everyone, to refuse to hurt anyone, but for you it’s so easy to cut that out. To simplify problems. I don’t understand.”
Slowly, a smirk inching its way onto Loch’s face. Audrey’s question was sincere. Loch had never liked her, never gone out of her way to make her believe she had her back, and yet Audrey was revealing this much. If this wasn’t a sign the girl was stupid, Loch didn’t know what was.
She saw the weak point and struck.
“But we ain’t that different in the end, my lady. Everyone moves according to their interests. Some people hide it better than others.” Her smile cut like a blade. “Some hide it so well, they don’t realize it themselves. But the truth is, every time you go out of your way to help a friend, you’re only helping yourself. You help because if something bad happened, you’d feel like shit, and that’s the last thing you want. Altruism is bullshit.”
Audrey hadn’t realized she stepped back at Loch’s vocal attack. Suppressing the flinch at her words, she stared ahead at the woman. It wasn’t until she finished that the younger ninja seemed to regain some courage. “But it’s not. You can’t sit there and deny the existence of selflessness.”
Loch raised an eyebrow. “And why not? You gonna try to change my mind?” she sneered. “Skip it. People are rotten, Audrey. It’s one big fucking rat race, and you’re a fool to think it ain’t.”
A frown pulled on the younger blonde’s lips, but she didn't look at her. Her eyes were glued on the ground, uncertain. "You’re right, there are rotten people in this world-- but there’s just as many good people. Maybe you just haven’t met them or opened yourself to them, but they’re there.”
“How lucky I am,” Loch said. “A world of marshmallows and rainbows, just waiting for me.”
Audrey suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. Loch wasn’t going to listen to her or take her seriously now. Ever. “Haha,” she laughed sarcastically, making her point known. “I should just be taking my leave now.”
A theatrical flourish of Loch’s wrist. “Ain’t no one stopping you, Audrey. No clue why you’re even here.”
The younger blonde’s eyes dragged down to the floor, obvious frustration picking at her face. She turned her back to the other ninja, her hand reaching to push the door open with the jingle of a bell. Giving her a final glance, she had frowned now uncertain. The door shut with a bell wishing her farewell.