Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye (flame_queen) wrote in elsewhere_rpg, @ 2017-11-17 01:05:00 |
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After having visited Roy and York at the hospital, Ed was on his way home-- but he wouldn’t get far. Once he stepped out into the chilly morning air (the sun was just coming up), he’d find a familiar blonde woman sitting on the bench just outside the hospital. She was in her uniform, but had Roy’s large black coat draped around her to ward off the cold. A cup of steaming coffee was trapped in her hands and she was staring off into the distance blankly. The woman was clearly deep in thought, something that wasn’t all that unusual for the First Lieutenant, who was far more taciturn than even the General (who was only chatty when he was feeling manic), and both of them paled in comparison to the company Ed was now used to keeping (his little brother and York). At least she wasn’t smoking. Thankfully, when an older gentleman had offered her a cigarette a few moments ago, she hadn’t taken it. She was sure Roy would smell it on her. Now the Lieutenant wished she smoked. She could use one right now. --- Ed had left York concerned, but pleased. It was strange, but then he was discovering human emotions weren’t simple like he’d once assumed they were as a kid. It just wasn’t how things worked. He was allowed to be more than one thing, but overall he was happy. That was new. It was almost a high in it’s own right. Ed wasn’t used to being allowed to feel happiness. He’d always been worried before that he didn’t deserve it because he lost Al, but maybe those things weren’t connected after all. Because he was happy. He wasn’t any less responsible for losing his brother, but it was a complicated thing and he was learning to just be those things without fighting them. He did feel a little guilty as he’d passed the General’s room on his way out feeling so good while someone he loved felt bad, but he wondered if Roy would call him an idiot for not continuing to go forward. He couldn’t just stand still anymore when things went wrong otherwise he’d forget to live. He’d lived out his teenage life like that and it was tiring. There were all kinds of doubts in his head, but he tried for once not to listen as he stepped out into the fresh air. Golden eyes watched the sunrise for a moment before he noticed Riza sitting there on the bench. Fuck, did he forget to tell her he was done with the General? He’d asked her to let him have some time with Roy, but was pretty sure he remembered telling her to come back when she felt ready. Ed sat down beside her after a moment of hesitation. “Riza?” --- Riza. She found that she liked it when Ed called her that. Turning her head, brown eyes settled on gold questioningly, and she straightened up just some and pulled the coat around her a little more tightly. “Good morning, Edward. How was your visit with the General?” She knew just how much Roy’s approval meant to the young Alchemist and she was hoping they hadn’t gotten into an argument. Roy and Ed were like water and vinegar most days. --- He’d lost track of when he started calling her by name, but since the woman didn’t seem to mind it Ed continued. If she ever had a complaint he could go back to calling her Lieutenant, but calling her Riza was more comfortable. “It was fine. We just talked.” Like normal people Ed almost added, but he wasn’t sure there was a normal thing about whatever his relationship with Roy was like. “He doesn’t need to stay longer.” Ed teased sightly. He hadn’t punched him or physically touched him at all. “Didn’t even fight, York probably gave him the good drugs.” Ed tried with a shrug. Whatever the reasoning had been behind his visit with Roy being successful, Ed was glad for it. He didn’t want things to be hard all the time. “Have you been out here since then?...It’s been like two hours since I came out here last.” He glanced over at her with a bit of worry touching those young features. -- “I’m glad to hear that.” That they just talked. That he didn’t need to stay longer. That York had given him the good drugs. They were all good things and the blonde was just happy that Ed had come to see Roy. She thought it was good for the man. “I’ve been thinking.” It explained why she’d been sitting out here so long. She didn’t attempt to explain further, though. There really was no reason. Slowly, the Lieutenant turned to look more squarely at the other blonde beside her-- now just as tall as she was, even if he sat a little higher. Riza’s height was in her legs, being a woman. Ed’s torso was longer. She noticed silly little things like that. “How are you doing, Edward?” With almost being eaten, and his brother vanishing, Roy having allowed it, and then Roy being hurt. He looked healthy enough now. He wasn’t pale, he didn’t look exhausted of half-starved. It looked like York was taking better care of Ed than Roy and Riza were ever able to. --- Even if Roy hadn’t wanted him to visit, Ed would have. But the man seemed okay with it, so it’d helped their relationship a bit. At the very least it’d improved his opinion of the General that things hadn’t just ended in a fight like always. Ed actually left feeling good. “About what?” Ed wanted to know what kind of things she thought about, she was always asking about him and Roy but what kind of things made up Riza Hawkeye’s mind? “I’m okay.” He responded plainly enough, and he actually was. “Worried about them, but okay.” He worried about York, Roy, and Al-but he was still functioning. The world was still rotating and he hadn’t just shut it out. He was trying to be a normal functioning person, but sometimes things just weighed on him. Riza had warned him not to punch Al in the jaw when he did return, but where was he? How long had it been now? --- “Lots of things.” Her ambiguous answer. Her attention, however, was far more focused on him. “How are you and York doing?” Perhaps that would be a better topic to speak on-- she didn’t want him focusing on only the bad, she wanted the young man to be able to dwell on the good things in his life. And, as the sniper understood it, right now the tall, handsome Spartan was one of those good things. Yeah, so she thought York was handsome. And North. Really handsome. What, did they only make incredibly tall, hot men in the future? Riza had been born in the wrong time. --- Lots of things but apparently none she wanted to talk about. That caused Ed to frown a bit, and he went to protest, but then she was talking about York and it brought a strangely gentle look to the young man’s face that he was unaware of. “I just came from seeing him, he said he’s my boyfriend now? Is that term still applied for men?” Terminology for human relationships to Edward had never mattered. If you were one of his people that was what he called it in his mind, you belonged to him and that was a solid thing. Boyfriend was uncharted waters for him. He liked it, but he didn’t know if it meant something else. “I never called Alfons my boyfriend.” Ed responded with a thoughtful look up at the warm sky. They’d done some things he and York hadn’t even gotten to yet, but Ed wasn’t sure it was the same. “...Maybe it’s not the same. Or I’m over thinking it?” Germany was also not a friendly place for people to be gay. --- Boyfriends? Oh, man. Riza let out a slow breath. She would strangle York to death in his sleep if he hurt Ed. “Boyfriend could be an appropriate term. Also partner. Other half.” Her head tilted some. “Lover.” The word was almost a question. Almost. Were Ed and York.. having sex? Really, it was none of her business, she was just so protective and.. Well.. Ed was still a twelve year old boy to her. He always would be, even when he was thirty. She’d seen him at his worst and though she’d just been in the background for the young alchemist, as Roy took center stage (as well he should have), Ed had been far more than that to her (it was Alphonse who had been in the background when it came to Riza). “What was different with Alfons? Did you feel the same about him as you do about York? Did you act the same way? Do the same things?” She meant that in the most non-sexual way-- did they hold hands? Kiss? Snuggle up in annoying cute ways? Sleep in the same bed? --- Those other terms were confusing. Ed wasn’t sure he liked those. York used all sorts of terms for North, but he hadn’t called him boyfriend. Ed nodded though accepting the information at least. “Boyfriends I think then.” He didn’t hate it, even if it was weird to say. “Lover?” Ed didn’t like that term, bookishly correct as it sounded it seemed strange. Boyfriend was good though. He’d be keeping that term. Oh. Wait, was she asking if?...Ed fidgeted slightly as she asked questions about Alfon and he thought about it for a moment. “We didn’t get very far.” Should they really be talking about this at a hospital? “...With York it’s different. We haven’t gotten that far yet, but I want to. Just not yet. “ He paused as he thought about how it was with Alfons. How different it felt. It still felt good, but with York there was a deeper connection there. “I don’t think I wanted to get that far with Alfons. With Al everything was more ...clinical?” Explorative than anything else. With York he wanted to experience. He wanted to be with him all the time. He knew he couldn’t be of course, York had a job-and well Ed needed to find one of his own but that aside he slept with him, he did all those things with York and more. --- Well, Ed had taken that rather literally. “Did you.. Do the things you do with York? Sleep in the same bed? Hold hands?” She’d seen them with their hands clasped before. She knew they slept in the same bed. “When you think about York..” The Lieutenant smiled just some. “Does the thought of him make you smile?” She already knew the answer to that, she’d seen it on Ed’s face when he’d first brought the Spartan to mind. That was love. Riza would know that look anywhere. --- He was improving a human conversation, not the greatest at it Subtlety and him were not friends. He just realized how strange it had sounded that he just called Alfons, Al. He felt the need to say again that Alfons was not his brother, but Riza wasn’t questioning that again. She was talking about York. “.When he’s home, I miss him. Even when he won’t shut up.” And yeah Riza, he’d found a few ways to shut him up, but he didn’t need to say that. York had finally nearly broken all those protective emotional barriers the alchemist had built up around himself when they’d met, there was no backing out now York. Ed was invested. He’d let him in closer than anyone he’d been with before now. Even just talking about the man made him feel good, York had this calming effect on the once chaotic mind of the alchemist. “It does….That moron has turned me soft.” Ed stated dramatically, but a ghost of a smile remained in his lips on the subject. --- Yeah. That was love. Riza moved a hand out and set it atop Ed’s, giving a small squeeze. “And everything is going well with the two of you?” She had a feeling that the young man might.. Have some questions. She was well aware that the tall Spartan was a virgin (Roy knew that-- she didn’t want to know how or why he knew, but he knew. And thus, Riza knew.) so she doubted he’d be offering much in the way of good information about relationships. So, if Ed was finding that he didn’t quite know what to do or where to go from here, the Hawk’s Eyes wanted him to know that she was here. And while Riza certainly wasn’t in the healthiest relationship.. It didn't mean that she didn’t understand them. She chose to put herself in the place she was currently, with a narcissistic, manic-depressive asshole who thought it was perfectly okay to sleep around after telling a woman that he was in love with her. Ah yes, Roy Mustang. She wanted to roll her eyes but somehow refrained. --- He hadn’t even punched two people he really thought he was going to end up punching. One for hurting Roy so badly, and two being Roy. But neither things had come to fruition and he wasn’t even frustrated over it. He might have spent some serious time stewing over both things when he was younger, but he knew if he’d tried that with Roy now that it was possible the General would have been more upset by the new weight Ed had put on him with that. He had his own things to deal with now, he didn’t need Ed’s. When she reached over to touch his knee Ed only smiled at her. He found he was doing a lot more of that recently. He’d been so stoic when York initially met him. He’d reached rock bottom then and had wanted to take his own life, but now he’d come so far. His thoughts hadn’t been in that dark place since Roy pulled him out of it and then gave him York. Going well? Hadn’t she asked that already? Ed nodded. ‘Yeah. I think so…?” There were things he’d like to go a little further with, but he was also pretty comfortable the way things were. “I just..don’t know what else to do now.” He let his hand rest on his other knee. “I don’t know.” There were...thoughts he had, but they were a little embarrassing to say. He chewed at the inside of his cheek awkwardly. --- Yes, she’d asked that already. This second time it’d had a different meaning. It went right over Ed’s head. “Edward.” She said more calmly, confidently. “Look at me.” And only once she had his full attention did the woman speak again. “We’re both adults. No one expects you to just.. Know everything because you’re an adult. If you have questions, you can always come to me. If you don’t know what you’re doing and you don’t want to look silly in front of York, you can come to me. I’m right here. And I will do my best to never make you feel ridiculous, or uncomfortable. It’s important you talk to someone if you have questions.. I don’t want you getting yourself into a situation you can’t control, because you don’t know how it works.” She was deathly afraid the two of them would try to.. ‘Go to the next level’, and that York would end up hurting Ed, because Ed didn’t know how to tell him ‘No’. And York, being a virgin.. Well, he was a large man and he had a lot of power in his body. Riza could see him not knowing what he was doing and really hurting Ed without meaning to. Like Hell she was going to let that happen if she had the option to prevent it. --- Ed completely missed her second meaning. He was busy looking out at the sunlight creeping through the clouds and wondering if it snowed in that little town when she asked him to look at her. Pulling his gaze away and toward her he gave her a slightly confused expression as he listened. “There are books, but the ones in the library are mostly medical anatomical research.” Ed had been gleaning some information from those on how the male body worked, but they didn’t provide much knowledge on real pleasure. That part he’d mostly had to come up with on his own or from experience with Alfons and try to apply it to York. So far he’d been lucky in getting a few things right, but down the line? Who knew. “I’m happy with where we are...but noted. If you know I’ll ask then.” Ed wasn’t quite ready to go much further than where they were yet, he was in no real rush. “York’s not pressuring me to go further.” He added in case she still worried about that. He remembered when he was younger and she had actually gone so far as to have a talk with him about it. --- “Good.” She was glad to hear that York wasn’t pressuring the younger man. “If he does, remember that you’re well within your rights to run him through with a pillar of granite or something similar.” And no one would blame the Alchemist. Finally, her hand withdrew. “Just remember I’m here.” And with that said, she let her gaze drift off to the rising sun again. She wouldn’t force Ed to talk if he didn’t want to. It’s not like she was York. --- Ed may not verbally acknowledge that she was there, but he understood. He told her things he hadn’t told anyone else or couldn’t bring himself to with the knowledge she wouldn’t betray his trust. No one else had gotten him to speak this freely about such awkward conversations before. That comment caused a smirk to tug into the corners of his lips. “I know.” He was better at knowing now what the difference between being pressured and wanting to were now. He knew he didn’t want to yet. York didn’t seem interested in pressuring him to either. He was content just exploring things at their slow pace. More than content. It made his brain switch off sometimes, nobody had ever gotten it to do that. Finally he did acknowledge it with a nod. “I know.” He trusted her. “This is okay isn’t it? Being with a man?” It seemed rare, he didn’t even see anyone doing it in town-not that he’d really know how they’d show it. Ed wasn’t comfortable being affectionate in public either, so maybe they just were that way too. Who knew. --- Was it okay being with a man? “Perfectly okay. And believe me, you aren’t the only one. There are men out there who enjoy the company of other men, and you’d never know it.” Much like York-- Ed hadn’t even suspected the tall blonde would be interested-- but here they were. It wasn’t something you could pick out, just by knowing a person. Not really. “It’s late-- or, early, rather. You should get home.” Her head turned to look at him again and she gave him a nod. “Be safe.” --- It was okay. Having confirmation from Riza caused him to relax a little and he realized how tired he was. All he wanted to do was go curl up with North and sleep for a few hours until York came home. Then he’d help him sleep one way or another. “If you want some company sometimes, just let me know. I’ll bring by some food later.” He’d make several food deliveries for the hospitalized group. He felt useful doing it. It gave him an excuse to see Roy without verbally admitting it too. --- “Thank you, Edward. I’ll take you up on that.” She pushed up to her feet a moment later. She needed to get back inside to Roy. Turning, she’d pause a moment, then look back at him. “You have something very special. Remember that.” With a nod, the sniper would turn again and head back into the creepy hospital. She was sure Roy needed her by now. |