A heart (madefullmetal) wrote in elsewhere_rpg, @ 2017-10-31 09:02:00 |
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By the time Riza had made it over to visit Ed the previous day, he’d been asleep again. She had lingered and talked with York and Alphonse, but when it got dark, she eventually left, promising to be back the next day. So it was no surprise that she came knocking the next morning around ten, with Alphonse there to let her in and tell her that Ed was in the bedroom upstairs that the younger boy had claimed for Alchemy. Ed, of course, was welcome to make himself at home in the room as well. Al had always loved sharing a space with his brother, even if he was a bit messy. The knock on the open door of the Alchemy room probably wouldn’t be a surprise, Riza’s steps had been purposefully loud, so Ed could hear her coming. “Edward?” She asked as she appeared in the doorway, brown eyes roaming over the scene in front of her. The writing on the glass, the neat stacks of paper, and surely a bit of Ed’s mess to add to it now. It actually made her heart lift a little. “You look so grown up.” He really did. She had the overwhelming urge to hug him. Her hands clasped neatly in front of her. --- Ed was sleeping a lot, which was new in general. He didn’t sleep much before due to nightmares, but his body was just so exhausted he couldn’t fight it anymore. Nightmares would always happen, he accepted it. Sleeping with Al or York he was often more able to control his reaction to them though. He woke up in the middle of the night, but when someone was sleeping on or beside him he didn’t get up as much to move as he had before. His body was healing from the attachment of the automail, so it was taking a lot out of him-but finally it seemed Riza had come at the right time. He was awake and looking at one of Al’s pictures of York and North sleeping together. That was a little bit unnerving. Putting it down as the footsteps approached, he looked up at the blonde woman in the doorway and offered her a small smile. “Not so short now am I?” Ed grinned slightly as he stood up unstably on his leg at first and then balanced himself out within a few moments. He was getting better at it at least. “You don’t have to stay in the doorway you know.” --- “No, it seems as if you’ve grown quite a bit as well.” She came forward out of the doorway to stand just a few feet from Ed-- they were the same height now. He’d still be shorter than the Colonel. Roy would like that. The thought made her smirk to herself. She took a moment to look him over as he stood in front of her. He certainly had changed. It looked like he had more muscle, his jaw was a little more defined, his face a bit less pretty and more handsome. Somewhere along the way, Edward Elric had turned into a man. It looked good on him. He still looked small, though.. But that surely had something to do with the pants, which seemed just a little too large, and the t-shirt that hung off of him in places. Not so much as it had when he was younger-- the shirt was too tight on York, and Ed had grown, so it was only about two sizes too large for Ed. It didn’t look bad, but it was definitely too large on him. It was definitely York’s shirt. The thought gave Riza pause as she stared at it. But then her eyes shifted to the paper he’d set down on the bed. “What are those?” Stepping forward, she picked up the drawing of the two Spartans. They were unsurprisingly shirtless, with York on his back and North scooted down quite a bit to allow his head to rest on the shorter Spartan’s chest. York’s hand was resting in North’s hair and they were both clearly out like a light. The drawing was surprisingly detailed. It was really amazing. “Did you draw this, Edward?” Brown eyes lifted back up to him, her eyebrows lifting some. --- There was one thing Ed appreciated about Al drawing North and York, they weren’t kissing or doing anything weird in those images. It was giving him a little more confidence in the thoughts that kept creeping into his head about wanting to kiss the spartan. The drawings of himself sleeping on the other hand were quite detailed. He’d have to give Al a little bit of crap about that later, but for the most part they were just well done. When Riza approached, he realized they were the same height and he seemed momentarily exasperated by that. It meant he hadn’t beaten the General after all. That would be annoying when he finally saw the man, whenever that would be. He hadn’t even heard from him much since he’d gotten back, and wondered if he was being avoided.. That thought was briefly shook off though when she came a little closer, Ed actually thought of hugging her too, but he wasn’t terribly good at initiating these things, so for the time being he fidgeted with his hands (both of which appeared fleshy now minus the burn marks that revealed metal in the right ones arm obviously) “It’s good to see you, York said I missed you twice now. Heh sorry.” He rubbed at his neck a bit sheepishly. “I’ve been pretty tired lately.” When she stared at him for those long few seconds Ed tilted his head slightly at her. “Something wrong?” The young man shook his head at that question once she moved onto the images. “Al did. I can’t draw. I mean I can draw enough for alchemy, but nothing like this..” --- “That’s quite alright, you need your rest.” She stared for a long few moments at the drawing before setting it back down on the bed and picking up another one. This one was of Ed, sleeping soundly, his hair draped a bit in his face, his hand near his forehead and slightly obscuring the view of his nose and mouth. Like the others, it was exceptionally detailed. “Have you spoken much with the General?” Riza asked as she leaned to look through the stack of drawings. Most of them were Ed and the two Spartans, there were a few of the view outside his window, and those technical drawings of the arm and leg he hoped to make for his brother. Clearly, they needed to get Al outside more, the boy needed to draw something other than the people sleeping inside his house, and the view from that large window. “I know he’s been worried about you.” Not that he’d said as much, but she could read him like no one else. --- He gave her a faint smile at that and shrugged. “I guess, but I feel old.” He admitted as he brushed a few bangs away from his face. His hair was a bit of a mess that day, he began to pull it into a ponytail since he’d been sleeping again when she arrived. “Guess all that lack of sleep before is catching up with me.” He watched her examine Al’s drawings of sleeping people. “I don’t think he realizes he doesn’t just have to draw us sleeping.” He said as he made a face. “I can barely write legibly and he’s got the patience for this.” Ed said fondly as he looked over the arm Al had designed for him. Then she had to mention the General, and Ed looked away. “Nope. Apparently he couldn’t give a fuck if I’m here or not.” Ed said with a little shrug as he turned away to finish fussing with his hair in a crappy little mirror he’d found on a desk in that room that was mostly occupied by Al’s notes. Ed really hadn’t done any alchemy at all since returning, he hadn’t since beyond the Gate He’d died and still hadn’t seen Roy, not that Roy knew. Roy wasn’t some kind of mind reader, but Ed was a little stubborn when it came to the other man. He wanted a relationship with him and barely had any to be spoken of. “He’s got a funny way of showing it.” Ed shrugged a bit as he turned back once his hair was put up in it’s proper ponytail. --- Riza’s face softened as Ed turned back towards her and declared that Roy had a funny way of showing it. He wasn’t wrong. Stepping forward, a hand lifted and the sniper reached out, her fingers combing gently through the ponytail and working out the few knots that had formed from where he’d pulled it up. “You know,” she said after dropping her hand away, the knots removed expertly, “You look older with your hair pulled up this way, instead of in a braid. But if you wore it in a bun, you might even look like an adult.” Her hands fell back in front of her, clasping loosely. Alphonse did the same thing with his hands, only behind his back. In that moment, it was painfully clear to see that the youngest Elric had picked up the habit from the woman standing in front of Ed. “The General is a hard man to understand.” Was all she’d say of Mustang. It wasn’t her place to try and explain him or his methods. “How old are you now, Edward?” --- Ed winced a bit as some of the knots pulled out, he really didn’t know much about hair. Al and York mainly helped him there, but he hadn’t bothered to brush it out in a few days since York had. And he’d just slept in it so it was basically ratty. “I don’t know how to do that.” He admitted awkwardly. “I thought about cutting it once...but I don’t like that idea either.” He’d kept it long for a number of reasons and now another one being that York seemed to like playing with it. Ed enjoyed him doing it, though he’d never admit it. The blonde frowned a bit at the comment of the general being difficult to understand. Understatement of the year there Riza. He shook his head, not really wanting to talk more about Roy, it would just annoy him. One minute the man was telling him he was great, and the next he was cold as ice. If he hadn’t known better he might think his ability was ice. “I’m twenty.” --- “I can show you how to do it. And to braid it, if you like.” She had plenty of experience with long hair, after all. “Maybe give you some tips on how to take care of it. If you’re going to keep it long, you shouldn’t allow it to continue to be a disgrace.” A little smile touched her lips. “Your brother has beautiful hair.” But Alphonse clearly obsessed over it a little. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Twenty. Ed was twenty already. Three years had gone by with the Alchemist somewhere else, all alone, and without his brother or friends. It had to be painful, being away so long. “I’m glad you’re back with us. You had a lot of people scared.” Herself included. He’d just gone and no one had known where. It wasn’t odd for Ed to just wander off and maybe that was why no one had panicked immediately. But they should have. “From here on out, if you decide to fall off the face of the world, you tell me, Edward Elric. So if something like this happens again, we know when to worry and when not.” --- “Al always was better at this stuff than me.” Ed frowned a bit as he held a broken end of his hair in his hand for a moment before letting it drift back to his shoulder. York’s pants were kind of uncomfortable when he moved much, so he tried to keep it minimal. They were big and currently being held on tightly by one of his belts on the last loop. He’d filled out, but he wasn’t tank after all. Nodding slightly to her idea to show him hair stuff he smiled some. “I’ll try not to get distracted.” Hair things never really interested him, but the idea of spending time with Riza did. When she scolded him about not disappearing he closed his eyes for a moment with a faint smile as he sat down on the ground not far from her. “I’ll keep it in mind...I went home for a while. Got my commission.” Riza might be the only one who cared about stuff like that, military career woman and all. Roy would just hold it over him that he was still a higher rank. Ed’s ambition however was not to become Fuhrer. This was fine to him. “It’s hard putting a lot of weight on my leg. Sorry.” He explained for sitting amongst the piles of paper, but if she wanted to join him he wouldn’t be adverse to that at all. -- He’d gone home, had he? He’d gotten his commission? That little bit of information had another smile coming from the blonde woman, but it was gone shortly after as she lifted her chin and snapped into a crisp salute, her heels knocking together when she brought them in. She was still in heavy military boots, even if she wasn’t in the entirety of the uniform-- just the bottom half with a black turtleneck. The top was still drying from having been washed last night. “Major Elric, sir.” A major. Imagine that. Ed had finally done it. He was full-fledged. Riza felt a strange sense of pride in her gut. --- Major Elric That’d caused a hint of a pinkish hue to rise to his cheeks as he waved her down a bit with a nervous hand. She was the first and hopefully last person to address him so formally like that. “Please...it’s still just me.” He didn’t earn his commission for titles or privileges. He scratched his head a little trying to remember military language. “At ease.” It was a little uncomfortable giving her orders. He was a little unsure of even saying that, but he wanted her to act normal around him. Major or otherwise. It was a strange sensation to have people kowtow to him, like Ross and her partner who’d been his details for so long and continued to fluster around him and call him Sir even though he was still young around them at the time. Still a kid. “...” He’d thought to tell her that he was pretty sure he died, but he still wasn’t able to actually get those words out of his mouth, so he just watched her with a certain amount of warmth that hadn’t lurked there before in those golden eyes. “You’re the only one I’ve told.” The only one he wanted to tell. --- When given the ‘at ease’ order, Riza was able to fall back into a more relaxed position, but it wasn’t nearly as casual as before. Her feet shifted to be perfectly spaced, shoulder-width, apart. Her hands dropped to her sides instead of clasped in front of her, and she kept her chin up just so. It was a sign of respect. “I feel honored by that, sir.” Sir. She never used Roy’s name, either. It was always ‘General’, or ‘Sir’, and rarer still, ‘Mustang’, but never ‘Roy’. It was likely she’d fall into the same habit with Ed if allowed. “But you should at least inform your brother and the General.” She’d made such a big deal out of Ed getting his commission, about him being a Major now.. But she’d never snapped to attention for Alphonse. Though, really, the boy looked fourteen, so it surely had to be difficult to feel the need to snap out a crisp salute for someone who looked like a fourteen year old girl. And, let’s face it, that was exactly what Al looked like most of the time. “I’m sure they’d both be proud of your accomplishments.” Ed should give them a chance to be, at least. --- He watched Riza with a hint of curiosity. She obeyed his order but she still seemed a little stiff and less than relaxed. He tipped his head slightly and shook it in a faint amusement. “Don’t call me sir, that’s an order Lieutenant.” A faint smile touched his lips though as she did. He had too much respect for her to force her to be so stiff around him. The fact that she wanted to respect him though did cause an immediate respect for her in turn. She didn’t make some sarcastic comment, or act aloof about it-this was genuine and Ed could tell. “I’ll consider it.” He didn’t like bragging about titles or expecting things from Roy or Al. Most often when he expected things from Roy it went awry so it was just better not to. “You said you’d show me hair things. Al says you taught him...I imagine he means his version..but it does look better than mine…” Ed admitted with a bit of an awkward smile. --- “I’d be glad to show you anything you want to know about taking care of your hair.” And she could definitely see herself showing Alphonse. His hair really was lovely, and silky, and without much breakage or many split ends. He certainly took exceptional care. And she’d taught him? In another world, apparently.. But, she was pleased to know it. Coming forward at last, she’d sit on the bed beside him, avoiding the papers carefully. “How have things been between yourself and Alphonse since you returned? And York? North?” He was older now. Different. More experienced. Had that changed anything in his relationships? Riza found she was suddenly very eager to know. She wanted to make sure Ed was doing alright. --- Ed had never really had anyone to show him hair stuff. He was traveling with a suit of armor so he just made due with whatever he could come up with. “My mom’s hair was long.” He’d kept it long mainly because of her. “Dad’s was too.” Was. His dad was now gone in both senses of the word, but Ed didn’t really elaborate on that. “I don’t remember a lot about her now, but I remember that.” It seemed sort of funny for someone who’d been so desperate to revive her that so many details could be lost to him as an adult now. Kind of sad really too. “It’s the reason I kept it like this though...she used to scold me too about not taking care of it when it was shorter either.” The blonde shuffled the papers away so she didn’t have to worry about being careful. “Hm...well...Al punched me when I got back and yelled at me. “York talks to me more. I don’t know how that’s possible since it seemed like he never shut up before, but..he answers me directly now if I ask him something.” Ed didn’t know if that meant things were different or not. “I got to talk to Theta a little, but North wasn’t feeling that well…” He frowned some, wondering about how he was doing now. “.While I was gone, I was with someone.” Ed admitted. “I didn’t know I’d be coming back. I didn’t know I could.” After all that he wasn’t sure coming back again was an option. --- Al had punched Ed? Well, that came as somewhat of a surprise. While Riza knew Al could throw a punch (she’d been told he hit Roy, and Marco), she didn’t think he’d hit his own brother. Ed had mentioned before that Al could fight, she’d seen him in that suit of armor take on some pretty big opponents, but this little Alphonse? The five-foot nothing boy, who couldn’t have weighed a hundred pounds, and looked like a girl? Nothing against girls, of course, but.. She just didn’t imagine him to have the same fighting skill as that suit of armor had displayed. Certainly not the sort of fight Ed had in him. Then again, Ed wouldn’t have hit Al back, surely. “It sounds like you’re settling back in alright, then. I suppose that bruise on your jaw is from Alphonse.” If his brother had punched him, that was. Though, the mention of having ‘someone’ gave her pause. Someone. “What was his name?” Go on, Ed, she knew. She’d listen. --- “I guess so.” Oh had the situation warranted it sure he would have hit Al back, but this one hadn’t and Ed knew it. Ed knew what he’d done to deserve that bruise and just nodded slightly. “It is.” Riza just assumed he was with a guy, of course he had been but still. It made him hesitate for a moment. “Alfons.” Before she could even start to think that Edward had meant his own little brother, he explained. “Not Elric. Heiderich. No blood relation.” Not that they’d been tested, but that version of Al had no brothers. No Ed before he’d come through the gate. It was probably still weird, but Ed didn’t really care. He’d loved him. The thought of him though caused a certain knowing sadness that even if he returned he wouldn’t see him again. It was very likely that he’d died by now. They knew he was deteriorating, and that thought alone was depressing. --- Alfons. It made Riza’s eyebrows go up immediately-- but Ed was quick to explain. Alfons Heiderich. No blood relation. Just a similar name. The blonde woman relaxed slightly and she nodded a little, rolling her shoulders back some as she considered. It was pretty strange that he’d run into someone in another world with his brother’s same name. How common was the name ‘Alphonse’, anyway? It was odd to think about. It didn’t seem like a coincidence. “You miss him.” It wasn’t hard to see, he looked sad. But it seemed to be more than just.. A fondness for the other boy and missing his presence. Had something happened? --- Ed loved Alphonse but he wasn’t in love with him. He definitely wouldn’t have wanted to kiss him the way he’d kissed the other. The love for his little brother was much different. “He looked like Al though...but older, short hair. Fucking brilliant to match.” Ed laughed slightly at the memory. He dared to think that Alfons was even smarter than he was, the other man was a rocket scientist and in the future world that meant something. The blonde was an alchemy scientist but it only helped in certain circumstances. “That part was weird at first...the looking like him, but they were different. He was more into machines and space. Always looking up.” Like Ed, trying to get back to his home. Glancing down at his hands for a moment as Riza stated that he missed him, he nodded and a few stray bangs came to hide his expression in his eyes a bit. “He was dying. He’s probably…” Ed didn’t even want to finish the sentence. It hurt him to. “He said he didn’t have much time left...and I left him.” Ed felt guilty about it even though he couldn’t control the fact that he’d ended up there again away from him. --- He’d looked like Al. Now, that was a little strange, but Riza managed to keep her expression neutral. If they hadn’t acted anything alike.. But apparently they were similar. Brilliant. Always looking up. She’d never noticed it before meeting the fleshy Alphonse, but.. He was always staring at the stars. It was strange to watch. If the stars were out, he was looking up. Like he didn’t belong on the planet with the rest of them. Like his entire future was out there among those stars. Like home was up there. She’d never known anyone to stare at them quite the way Al did. It was a little unnerving. But then to hear that the Al in that world was sick. Dying. And that he probably was already dead? Well. Riza wasn’t very good at comfort, but she did move a hand out and rest it gently on his thigh. “There wasn’t anything you could do.” He’d been brought here. He hadn’t chosen to come here. There was no choice. None of them had chosen. “I’m sure he’s proud of you, wherever he is.” --- “I’m a pretty terrible person.” Ed said quietly as he watched her hand and a hint of wetness touched his eyes. He loved York and Alfons at the same time. He wanted to be with both of them, but one he couldn’t be with anymore. One was just gone, and he still felt love for the other. That made him feel like he betrayed Alfons somehow. “I still love York too.” He still wanted to be with him and this time in all three of those ways he’d mentioned in spite of just losing someone else. Ed’s life was filled with loss and misery. Everyone he knew died or left, but York still remained. Even if he said he wouldn’t forever, Ed didn’t care. He leaned slightly over, resting his cheek on her shoulder and tucking his legs underneath him. He didn’t know if it was out of line or not, but he just wanted some kind of connection with someone who wasn’t sick and dying for just a single moment. “All this time and I still want him too.” Ed thought maybe loving another would stop him from loving York, but he managed to love them both. --- Hearing him talk like that tugged at Riza’s heart. He loved York. Still. Three years without having laid eyes on the man and he still.. But then again, Riza had been four years without seeing the General and had loved him still. She understood. That hand moved from Ed’s thigh up into his hair, as his head came to rest against her shoulder. “Falling in love twice in a lifetime is a blessing, Edward.” She told him, gently. “If even after all this time, you still love him, you should take action. Even if all it wins you is rejection, at least you’ll have your answer one way or the other and if the news isn’t good, you can start to move on. And you will move on, if you have to. You’re strong enough.” He wouldn’t linger like a shadow and cling to a hope. If there was nothing, Ed could pull through and move on, the Lieutenant was sure about that. She had always been impressed by his strength. --- Ed didn’t really care if there was a side to York that the man didn’t want him to know about. The things he did know, Ed loved. Even his constant talking, obnoxious as it was sometimes. The blonde closed his eyes like a cat as Riza touched his hair and he nodded. “There’s something I’ve been wanting to do, but I’ve been afraid to do it. I think I might just be able to now though. I’m tired of not knowing.” Ed had been so worried about what the General would think back then, but Ed was tired of being miserable. Without York he felt incomplete, like there was some kind of emptiness inside him that made it impossible to just move on without an answer. “It feels like a curse. Loving twice.” Ed said with a hint of dark humor, letting his eyes close for a moment as he soaked in her presence. Trying to steal some of her calm demeanor, but his heart raced sometimes just thinking of the things he wanted to do with York. Not limited to maybe shutting him up for once. -- “Whatever you do, just be careful. And remember, you can tell him no. If you do, he should stop. If he doesn’t, break his jaw.” Riza’s relationship advice. Good Lord. But, she wasn’t wrong. Ed was a lot smaller than York, the sniper worried. She wasn’t sure the Spartan had it in him to be so violent (who was she kidding-- he was built for war, she knew he was a violent monster under that sweet exterior) but it never hurt to be prepared. Her fingers stroked gently along his hair as he laid there on her shoulder. “It’s not a curse. Most people don’t find that sort of love once in a lifetime. You’ve been blessed. The losses we suffer tend to remind us how sweet these small victories are.” And Ed had to take them in stride and not let them escape him. --- He blinked at that and looked up at Riza in a bit of surprise. “I don’t think he’ll hurt me. He hasn’t before.” Ed realized there was still a size issue, but that hadn’t worried him and still didn’t. If he doesn’t, break his jaw. That ought to go on one of those information pamphlets they handed out to workplaces. Ed might have laughed if Riza hadn’t sounded so serious then. Instead he just nodded. “I know.” He only intended to kiss him. At least at first, but he had to admit there were some other things he wouldn’t mind doing now that the thought was brought up to the forefront of his mind. That was awkward. He really shouldn’t be thinking of that while leaning against Riza. While with anyone really aside from York. Ed knew he had seen war, knew he’d said he did terrible things but it didn’t change his opinion of who he was now. Granted he didn’t know all the details, but he figured if York didn’t want to talk about them that it was okay. The blonde let silence hang between them as he listened to her. Only after a period of time past he smiled again. “I want to see you more.” No, it wasn’t an order but it was a request. He wanted to know her. --- “Well, you know where I’m staying, you’re always welcome to visit me. And if you ever want to talk, you can write to me and I’ll come over. I’ll also visit more often, if you don’t mind the company.” Tilting her head slowly, she set her cheek down onto his crown. They were just the right size-- matching heights-- to be able to do this easily and without strain on either one of them. He could lean on her. She could hold him. They could be comfortable. Another long stretch of silence passed between them before Hawkeye spoke again, this time her eyes closing as she did. “I’m proud of you, Edward.” She knew she wasn’t Mustang and it didn’t mean as much coming from her, but.. Well. There it was. --- Ed was definitely more comfortable with touch and being touched, it was obvious just by this simple action. He might not have even been able to do this a few years ago. He had so many issues with his body then, he hadn’t even been able to touch himself due to self loathing and image issues. He seemed far more willing now to be close and even enjoy touch from others. “I don’t mind. I don’t know what to write to do that.” He was still naturally quiet, but he seemed more at ease with things. “I’d like that though.” He looked up at her with a faint smile. “Really?” Those weren’t words he heard from many people. “Thank you.” Shifting a bit so he could properly curl up with her on an angle that wasn’t so painful on his waist or leg. Roy was lucky to find someone like her. Damn lucky, someone this kind who loved him in spite of well-being Roy didn’t come along all the time. “ --- “You could try.. ‘Riza, come over’, that might do the trick.” As he sat up, she turned to look at him properly again. “Really. And you're welcome.” A hand came up to tuck a bit of his hair behind his ear, then the sniper was pushing to stand up. Again, she lingered. Really, the Lieutenant wanted to hug him, and maybe if he stood up, she would. She thought it would be nice, that he would appreciate the sentiment behind it. “I should get going. I have a lot of work to do today.” And she was pretty sure that he did, too. “I'll see you soon, sir.” A hand came up for a salute. Her greetings and partings would now always be the same, as they were with the General. That was just Riza. --- He definitely wanted to see her more. A sheepish laugh escaped him. “I guess I can do that much.” He leaned into her touch. Sometimes he enjoyed touch, but only when it was his idea. Doing it when it’s not was not advised. Curling up with Riza? His idea. He had half a mind to order her to stay when she started shifting and hinting to get up. He didn’t want to, but reluctantly he stood too. Ed wouldn’t have minded a hug, but initiating them wasn’t something he was very good at. “Yes sir. Don’t be a stranger.” He wasn’t typically very good at initiating touch, even if he wanted it but this time he decided to try. When she saluted him he gave her a small nod, but instead of returning it he awkwardly hugged her instead. --- |