InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Do What You Do."

organo (organo) wrote in ecorridor_rpg,
@ 2009-04-25 16:28:00

Who: Patrick + Emily
What: Studytimes, surprisingly.
When: Saturday afternoon
Where: Field by East Tower
Rating: Probably PG-13 for Patrick's profanities that he manages to throw in.

With a pile of books and a roll of parchments in hand, Patrick made his way out toward the field by the East Tower where he intended to meet Emily for some kind of damage assessment. Finals were coming up and he knew he wasn't going to do very well but the worst part about it was that Patrick didn't know how much he didn't know. He couldn't just fuck around with these exams like he did last year, where he managed to scoop up enough to continue; this time, if he didn't pass, he wasn't going to be staying.

And as much as he hated being here, there was a small part of his heart that implored him to stay. That small part was strong enough to compel him to ask for help even when it seemed impossible. He'd never admit to himself or anybody what that small part came from, or who it belonged to.

It was mid-afternoon and the sun was shining up ahead. The grounds showed more signs of life than usual, as most people elected to stay to study. Patrick found a patch of grass underneath the shade of an Oak and he threw the books to his side as he sat, making a messy pile next to him. Folding his arms around his knees, he looked around for his red-headed study mate.

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emmy_emcee
2009-04-28 06:54 pm UTC (link)

"Nooo-" Emily pleaded again, landing on the grass with a Patrick on top of her, still intent on squirming as he tickled her. "Pleeeease-"

She couldn't remember the last time she'd laughed like this. Truthfully, she couldn't remember the last time she'd heard Patrick laugh-

When he stopped she lay beneath him, panting, smiling, her fingers twisting gently around the grass by his knees. Her whole skin tingled from his in her hair.

"You have," Emily agreed softly. "You have me. Now-now what are you going to do?"

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organo
2009-04-29 05:56 pm UTC (link)

"I dunno," he replied, the hazy grin still on his face. He really didn't know. It was as if he was completely enchanted by the magical form beneath him.

Patrick felt the rising and falling of her chest. He tasted the scent of fresh grass mixed with the pleasant, clean smell of...girl for lack of a better word on tongue and nose. He saw her eyes, sparkling in the sunlight, reflecting the brilliance of her hair. He saw her lips, smiling, tempting, sweet. He wanted nothing more than to taste them.

Closer. He got closer. Their lips made contact for a brief, beautiful moment, and he felt happiness rise up in him. He was kissing Emily. He was kissing her. He was...kissing her! Suddenly, as if shocked by the pleasure, he shot away.

"No," he shook his head, climbing off of her clumsily. "No, no, no. I can't do this."

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emmy_emcee
2009-04-30 01:52 am UTC (link)

First they were gazing at each other and then Patrick was leaning down and Emily's eyes closed in anticipation, relaxing into the grass when their lips finally met. She sighed softly, blissfully, feeling as though every second of her life had been building up to this moment-

And just like that it was over. It took a few heartbeats for Emily to float back down and focus on his apparent distress as he moved away.

"What-?" she started propping herself up on her elbows. "What's wrong?" Emily was slightly disheartened, maybe even slightly hurt. A frown creased her forehead but it wasn't enough to distract from her very obvious sadness.

Lowering her eyes from him, Emily shuffled herself back to their piles of books and parchment, rearranging them, restacking them, pretending badly that nothing had just happened.

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organo
2009-04-30 03:57 am UTC (link)

Patrick couldn't bear looking at her as he spoke, as he had already witnessed her sad countenance the first time he pulled away from her kiss. He could only imagine the pain on her face now. "No, I'm sorry," he stated, staring at the dirty laces of his shoes, tearing the grass out from his roots and shredding it in his hands.

He turned his head sharply to respond to her question. What was wrong? How could she ask such a thing? The answer was so obvious. Why'd she need to bring it up to the surface? Patrick felt his heart beat in his throat as he became almost livid. "This!" he raised, frustrated with the question. "This is what's wrong! It was wrong the first time, and it's wrong again!" Patrick watched her as she moved with ginger motions, as if the very turning of a page could set him off.

With the silence that came after his outburst, he suddenly realized that the tone he had used was the same tone as his father's; the same angry, familiar tone he heard during late night arguments. Shocked at himself, the anger in his face gave way to an astonishing sense of regret and shame. He didn't want to hurt her -- his best friend, his Emily that he had once lost -- in any kind of way. Patrick knew all to well the sounds of hurt. "Sorry," Patrick grumbled, turning back to the grass. "I didn't mean to yell."

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emmy_emcee
2009-04-30 04:31 am UTC (link)

The ease of the transition between their playing and kissing, the natural progression of it all had apparently blinded Emily to the fact that...it was wrong. It was apparently wrong.

The way Patrick said it twisted in her stomach, and her head remained lowered, fixed on a page she wasn't reading, her hands still on her knees as though she were actually being scolded.

She wouldn't cry, though. Emily wasn't the type of girl who cried, especially not in front of boys.

"Don't apologise, it's fine," she said quietly. "I shouldn't have..." the end of the sentence trailed into a shrug of the shoulder because she wasn't entirely sure what it was that she'd done, or he'd done for that matter. "It was a mistake. It didn't happen. Like last time didn't happen."

Flicking through the book she was holding she settled on a page about sleeping potions. "We should just carry on with this. It's what we came out here to do."

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organo
2009-05-01 02:54 am UTC (link)

By the tone of her voice, he couldn't tell if she were angry or not, if she were mocking him or not.

"Fine." He responded curtly. Their study session was ruined, and he knew it. Only five minutes in and he managed to fuck it up again. Way to go, Patrick.

He didn't bother turning around to face her as she attempted to return back to studying. The sound of the ruffling pages annoyed him.

"You're pissed off with me." He said, brow furrowed, focusing on the dirt underneath his nails. Patrick returned the conversation back to what had just happened. He couldn't let go of it.

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emmy_emcee
2009-05-01 04:47 am UTC (link)

Emily slammed the book closed and dropped it onto the pile of parchments, looking up at him. "I don't understand you," she said, the softness of her tone surprising even her slightly. "I'm not pissed off with you, I'm just-" she paused a moment, chewing on her thumbnail. "I couldn't be pissed off with you. You just...frustrate me."

She wouldn't agree with anyone who said boys and girls couldn't be friends without things getting complicated. She had a whole load of guy friends. It was just Patrick.

It was Patrick. Her Patrick.

Emily began to pick at the grass as well. "Is it me? Am I doing something? I mean, something to..." she scratched her nose, smudging a little dirt over it. "...make you want to kiss me, then make you want to erase it from your memory."

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organo
2009-05-04 04:02 pm UTC (link)

Patrick wouldn't look at her. He only grunted in acknowledgment of her comment. He was the one that was frustrating? It was her, if anything. It was her hair. And her face. And the way she talked. And the way she made him feel when she was around him.

Maybe he was the one who was being frustrating.

He peered over his shoulder and saw the smudge on her face. "You have some dirt on your nose," he paused to ponder about his response.

"You aren't doing anything bad," he began. "It's the opposite of that. You're doing everything good. Great. Excellent. For the first time in my life, I feel like I have somebody who cares about me." Patrick turned away from her, putting his head down, his hair dangling over his face. "And I don't want to lose that."

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emmy_emcee
2009-05-04 04:24 pm UTC (link)

Emily crossed her eyes to try and see her nose, rubbing it with her sleeve to try and clean it.

"I do care about you," she said quietly, watching him, or at least the curtain of hair that hid his face. "You know I do. Is that so bad- why do you think...why do you think you'll lose me? We've been through enough shit together, Patrick, and we're still here. I know, last time-" she let that sentence trail off, because there was no need to emphasise that. "Do you just want to be miserable because you're scared of being happy with someone? Will you just settle with that?" Emily snapped, regretting it immediately.

"Sorry. I didn't...mean that. I care about you. I more than care about you. You're my best friend."

Hesitantly and almost bravely she edged her way over the gap between them, placing her hand on his shoulder.

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organo
2009-05-04 05:03 pm UTC (link)

He clenched his teeth as she raised her voice. Patrick didn't want to admit it, but she was right-he was just making her (and himself) absolutely miserable by not letting their friendship evolve into something more. This was getting far too deep for him. His feelings were surfacing and his fears were manifesting in a way he never wanted them to.

The touch on his shoulder was too much. In a storm, he got up, and started to gather his belongings. He couldn't respond to Emily right now, not when he was vulnerable.

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emmy_emcee
2009-05-05 05:10 am UTC (link)

Emily let her hand fall and this time she was really fighting back the urge not to cry. To cover that up she just glared, watching him gather his things.

Then there was the rush of deep regret that he might completely fail his exams because of her. Because of her. Because she couldn't...draw a line. She was just causing more huge problems.

"Patrick, don't go-" Emily said finally, although her voice was too desperately pleading rather than soft, encouraging. "Please? I won't...please stay?"

She knew it was futile.

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	organo 2009-05-06 04:54 pm UTC (link)
	It was futile. He finished gathering up his things without even giving her a look. As he left, he fought the urge to utter even a goodbye, walking quicker to escape her wimpering. He knew that if he even opened his mouth, he would let out a tirade of emotion that he'd regret later on. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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