Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I see dead people"

Claire Westbane (clairefree) wrote in ecorridor_rpg,
@ 2009-02-25 19:44:00

Entry tags:

#feb2023, *commonroom, c. westbane, f. finnigan

Who: Claire and Fiona
When: Wednesday, after dinner
What: They both need to vent, I think
Where: erm, tba
Rating: PG-13 for language

Everything and everyone seemed to by in a ribbon of colours and noise and, a practiced daydreamer, Claire simply sat back and let her eyes go blank. Lately her head seemed to be filled with worry after worry after worry, and it was doing her head in. She was usually a 'get on a do it' kind of girl. But this death, and now Albus, her stress factor was increasing at an alarming rate and her school work was suffering for it. She'd had her first Herbology tutorial with Art the day before, which had helped immensely, but any other motivation to get her work done seemed to have gone out the window. Along with quite a bit of her self-assurance, sleep, appetite and social skills. She didn't like it. At all.

So now, at Fiona's poking and prodding (which Claire was grateful for), she was waiting for the younger girl for a planned trip around the grounds on their brooms. She positioned herself in her usual chair by the fire, feet tucked underneath her, broomstick leaning against the seat. The fire was hypnotising; it was almost like lying back and trying to make shapes out the of the clouds. The shadows the flames cast along the length of the wall in front of her seamlessly changed and whispered, dancing to a tune no one else could hear.

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snitchwitch
2009-02-26 11:42 am UTC (link)

"Faeries? Must be interesting." A small smirk crossed her features. She was a bit used to Claire's language, but sometimes the girl still managed to catch her off guard. She wasn't aware that Claire was actually thinking about something more interesting than faeries - and well, Fiona was thinking of something that definitely interested her for quite a while.

Claire stood up, offering her hand out to Fiona. Fiona grabbed her hand slightly, tugging her towards the portrait hole. She needed to get her mind off Nox - after all, they were supposedly in an open relationship. So, how was it bloody open if she kept thinking about him all the time? She definitely lost interest flirting with other people - it annoyed her. She wasn't supposed to ~~need~~ want him this much. It was just against... her principles or something. "I've just been so annoyed. I need time to think," Fiona blurted out as they trudged towards the Entrance Hall.

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clairefree
2009-02-26 10:44 pm UTC (link)

Claire laughed off Finn's remark about the faeries. If only, she thought, screwing up her nose at the thought of the mess of spaghetti her brain resembled at the moment.

Something was off with the other girl, though. She seemed very distracted, the corners of her mouth only turning up for a moment -- a definite sign that something wasn't right. She pursed her lips as Fiona started to vent before Claire had a chance to ask how things were. But annoyed wasn't an emotion Claire would've picked -- the admission surprised her and she raised an eyebrow, glancing at Fiona as they continued to walk. "Annoyed? What on earth for?" As far as she could see Finn had it pretty good at the moment, everything seemed to be going well for her. Maybe she'd managed to fool everyone.

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snitchwitch
2009-02-27 12:12 am UTC (link)

"I mean, well - it's not that big a deal. I'm annoyed at some things, confused with other things, frustrated with everything else," Fiona admitted, staring at the floor as they walked. Fiona wasn't really the type who liked sharing a lot of things, but she had known Claire for quite a while. Fiona connected to her on certain levels as well.

"Anyway, just forget about it. What's up with you?" She flashed Claire a smile. After all, the gossip about Fiona was just typical - she was an attention seeker who seemed to change her mind about boys as fast as Gryffindor could score a goal at a regular Quidditch game. Of course she still felt slightly bad about Caiden - but why was she to dwell over someone who definitely was interested in a certain Hufflepuff? After all, Hufflepuffs make good choices - she should know. And she didn't know if she hated liking that Hufflepuff or not. A confused look crossed her features, before she shook her head furiously and concentrated on Claire instead.

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clairefree
2009-02-27 04:00 am UTC (link)

Listening to Fiona was almost like having her mind read and she blinked, looking up at the younger girl again, just in time to catch the flurry of emotions that passed across her face. But it was gone soon enough, masked with a shake of the head, and Claire had a question to answer.

"Me? Ha. Nothing," she replied breezily, though her voice sounded fake even to her own ears. She closed her eyes and sighed, putting a hand on Finn's arm to stop her. "Can I ask you something? Because this is doing my head in. And, fuck knows I'm older and, really, I should be able to sort this out for myself but I just don't get it." Claire was waffling. Spectacularly. But Fiona would need background knowledge. Or some such. So she continued. "You and Nox are... I mean, you're doing that whole relationship thing. Which, by the way, I don't really understand because it's Nox but, oh! I hope that didn't offend you. Oh, gods." Now she'd done it. As she rubbed a hand over her face she met Fiona's eyes and took a deep breath. "My question is, how did you know?"

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snitchwitch
2009-02-27 09:16 am UTC (link)

Claire's answer definitely had the lacking easiness that most replies like that had. Fiona knew it well - she used that fake line all the time. Of course everyone thought she was okay - they really didn't care because they weren't the end of that ~~bitch~~ gossip columnist's jokes. Fiona was raised well enough not to care, but when ~~all~~ most of it were bad, she couldn't help but feel a bit sad about it. All thoughts stopped as well when Claire stopped her.

I don't really understand because it's Nox - Fiona shut her eyes. After a while, Fiona took a deep breath as well and answered, leaning against the wall and subconsciously sliding down. "No one understands. Instead, they stare at me and you could practically see the hatred in their faces because I had made one of the most eligible bachelors of Hogwarts un-eligible. But how did I know? God, even I don't know."

Fiona buried her face in her hands, muffling her voice as she continued. "All I know is that I took the risk of giving it a shot. And hey, I didn't force him into the relationship. He wanted to try it out. Sure, we're dating - but he can date other people. We're just... aware that we feel differently around each other. And now I hate it that maybe, I can't know for sure, he's off doing Merlin-knows-what with someone else and I can't even flirt with anybody because they're not Nox fucking Cadwallader."

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clairefree
2009-02-27 02:18 pm UTC (link)

Claire watched as Fiona seemed to crumble in front of her eyes and, alarmed, sat down next to the brunette, putting an arm around her shoulders. Doing this in the middle of the hallway probably wasn't the best of ideas, but what could you do?

"First, let me apologise for what I said about Nox. I should've explained what I meant -- which was," she took a breath, "that I really don't understand Nox. At all. He drives me up the wall, to be perfectly honest." She shrugged. "Most of the time, anyway." She shot a smile in Fiona's direction, giving her shoulder a squeeze. "So that's why I don't understand."

"As far as everything else is concerned, eligible or not, any relationship you have with him is your business. No one elses. If they have a problem with something, that's exactly what it is -- their problem." She lowered her voice slightly, not realising how loud she'd gotten. "You know why they look at you like that? Because they're jealous. You bagged the prize they've all been striving to get, you're beautiful, talented, smart, and you got the guy."

Another smile, this one tinged with empathy. "But, Fee, if something's bothering you about the relationship you should tell him."

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snitchwitch
2009-02-27 09:22 pm UTC (link)

Fiona hadn't realized she had opened up in the hallway of all places until Claire had settled in beside her and put an arm around her shoulders. She had never been so unraveled before. It annoyed the hell out of her, how someone could manage to make her so - is there even a word for it?! Fiona groaned and rested her head on Claire's shoulder. Claire was really one of the few people she truly trusted - it was only nowadays that she had spurts of blurting out really personal things to people - some she didn't even like.

"I don't even know if I really got the guy. It's an 'open' relationship." Fiona laughed bitterly and shook her head. "What IS an open relationship anyway? It's totally contradictory - relationship says mine, but open says everyone else can go for it." She sighed. "And I don't even know if I should tell him how I feel. He isn't... used to this kind of stuff. And I don't know if I guilt-tripped him into the relationship or not!"

Fiona had only realized all this after she said it - and maybe she really did have to talk to him.

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clairefree
2009-03-01 01:11 am UTC (link)

Claire laughed quietly at Fiona's waffling, glancing at her to shoot her a sympathetic smile. "It sounds like the two of you have some stuff to sort out, hun. If he's man enough he'll sit and listen to what you have to say. And if not, is he really worth it?" she replied after Fee had gone quiet. "As long as it's an open relationship he's fair game, right? As are you."

This was the very reason Claire thought relationships were more trouble than they were worth. Any ideas she'd been set to ignite about the possibility that she might want Wes to be something more than just a friend were quickly locked away in a dark corner of her mind. Having to go through this level of insecurity and stress for something that, in the long run, probably wouldn't work out was just a waste of everybody's time, energy, and emotions. She was happy enough in her self, and that would suffice (for as long as she was willing to fool herself into believing that spiel anyway).

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snitchwitch
2009-03-01 10:04 am UTC (link)

Fiona took in what Claire said, eventually nodding her head. Lately, relationships was all that was on her mind - and she was honestly starting to get tired of it. First, with Caiden - who maybe really wasn't starting to like her, even as a person, seeing as he's been ignoring her - and now, with Nox - whom she really liked, despite all her insecurities about him.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She tilted her head, seeing the troubled look on Claire's face. "Well, enough about me, what about you? I mean, I'm sure I'm not the only one with problems in this bloody school. Especially with the murderer around. What have you been up to?"

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clairefree
2009-03-01 02:49 pm UTC (link)

Claire exhaled heavily through her nose at the questions, a sarcastic smile tugging at her lips. Problems definitely seemed to be the order of the day, but with Fiona having her own to deal with, and Claire being Claire, she was going to keep her mouth shut. It was probably best.

"Nothing," she murmured, blank eyes coming into focus, though she kept her gaze trained on the floor. "Everything's fine."

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snitchwitch
2009-03-01 05:12 pm UTC (link)

Fiona had known Claire for a long time, since they've been teammates for three years and counting. By then, Claire must've realized that maybe Fiona knew her better than a lot of people. The team had gone through some massive team-building - the reason why Fiona knew James almost like the back of her hand, and the reason why she knew Claire wasn't exactly telling the truth when she said everything was fine. But Fiona knew better than to push it - she was a nagger, yes, but nowadays she felt like her nagging was going to get her into trouble.

"As long as you're sure," she mumbled uncertainly, reaching out to squeeze Claire's shoulder. "You know I'm here if you need to talk to someone - even if it doesn't seem like I am capable of doing so."

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clairefree
2009-03-01 08:54 pm UTC (link)

"Very sure." Her voice was barely audible and broke on the last word. Sucking in her breath she bit her lip hard and pushed herself away from the wall and up, grabbing her broom at the same time.

"Ah, let's fly, shall we?" she asked quickly, voice cheery and pathetically excited. Like that's fooling anyone, she chastised herself. But that sudden rush of emotion hadn't been expected and was best done away with before anyone, including herself, had had to deal with it. Claire Westbane did not cry in front of people. That was a behaviour best left to the ears of pillows and the walls of empty classrooms.

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snitchwitch
2009-03-03 09:35 am UTC (link)

When Claire abruptly changed the subject, especially after hearing the crack in her voice, Fiona just decided to drop it. After all, they weren't supposed to blab about their problems all the time - that would just make things tiring, really boring and forever emotional. Letting out a deep breath - thinking that exhaling her breath would exhale all the tension out of her body, she stood up as well and grabbed her broom. "Definitely. Flying is always good therapy."

Fiona smiled, grabbing Claire's wrist and practically flying off her feet down the hallway. Flying was definitely a plus for her. Just being able to stay off the ground without jumping made her happy. It was a small, trivial matter - but Fiona loved flying. It took her mind off so many things: the killer, Nox, Caiden&Quin (a thought that Fiona refused to admit bothered her - not because they're gay though), her father secretly talking to the Aurors and checking up on her... Fiona expelled all those thoughts from her mind once the grassy Quidditch pitch came into view.

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clairefree
2009-03-03 05:01 pm UTC (link)

Claire flinched as Fiona grabbed her wrist -- there'd been a particular reason she was holding her broomstick in the hand that she was. She jerked her arm backwards and caught the younger girl's hand instead, giving her a smile.

When she was flying she could either be carefree or take the time to think. Tonight, it was most definitely going to be the former.

The pitch was dark and shadowed, the stands rising high above them as they approached. She could hear the echoes of past games ring in her ears, a sense of anticipation at the heady rush she would get when she kicked off. And she did just that, not wanting to wait any longer. Her hair was loose and, as she rose, she revelled in shiver the wind brought to her sensitive skin.

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snitchwitch
2009-03-03 05:25 pm UTC (link)

Fiona climbed onto her broom and sped off. She loved the feeling of the wind brushing her hair away. Letting out a soft whoop, she did a few laps around the pitch. The Seeker never really moved much during the game, unless the Snitch was in sight - that was when the speed comes out. And, Fiona was speed.

The air smelled crisp and fresh, unlike the stench of murder that occupied the halls of Hogwarts nowadays. It smelled good, Fiona concluded, taking in a deep breath and leaning against one of the Quidditch stands. She glanced at Claire and grinned. "Hey, do you remember that game back when I was fourth year - when James almost missed a goal because the hot, older Ravenclaw keeper was flirting with him during the game?"

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clairefree
2009-03-03 06:40 pm UTC (link)

Claire revelled in the stillness of everything around her. Nothing could touch her up here. She dipped between the towers in the stands, taking her time, moving with the broom. This was a fantastic cure for her malcontent.

When Fiona spoke she became slower still. Looking around her, she smiled, thinking of that game. She remembered it well. "Wes was high," she mused, thinking about how close they'd come to losing that. She'd blasted him about it afterwards. And after that she'd been with James in the locker room.

She dropped her head, hiding a smile. Those were the days. Carefree and a king of contagious maturity. They thought they were invincible. They'd thought. Daria had changed that.

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snitchwitch
2009-03-04 09:31 am UTC (link)

Fiona couldn't help but burst out laughing at that moment, remembering how Wes let two goals in from stumbling over his broom. Memories of those fateful days made her giggle - even when times were rough. "Oh god, and Cas Wood totally missed how many Bludgers because his ex-girlfriend was watching." She rolled her eyes and laughed, leaning against one of the hoops.

God, Quidditch...

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clairefree
2009-03-05 01:51 am UTC (link)

Claire shook her head at the memory. "Men and their vices," she called out to Fiona who was almost at the other end of the pitch. She stopped, hovering above the ground and cast a glance back at the castle. "Me and my vices," she murmured under her breath. She wondered where Wes was, what he was doing. Eyes fell closed. Who he was with.

Swallowing, she speed up again, taking a few laps around the pitch until she couldn't breathe anymore. This preoccupation she had with him at the moment needed to blow away with the the slip stream she was creating.

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