InsaneJournal

Bianca had met Katniss in the Pickman lobby, and then had driven the conversation as they walked to Tower of Pizza. She could sense the other woman's unease, so had spent the walk talking about her first week at the high school and the weirdness of it all. Occasionally she'd stop and point out something in town and then ask if Katniss had been there yet, listening if the other woman had, or filling in details if it was a place she'd visited herself and keeping the conversation casual.

As they waited on their pizzas, Bianca asked, "So what's your favorite part of Dunwich so far?"

--

Katniss didn't mean to be so awkward. But she'd never really been good with people. And Bianca was..nice. And chatty? She kept up with the conversation as best she could on the way to the Tower of Pizza, but was still a little on edge- she wasn't sure what it was, exactly, but she was restless, almost anxious. And Bianca..seemed like she was none of that, navigating town and the restaurant with an almost careless ease that Katniss wondered if she'd ever achieve. She couldn't imagine it for herself.

Settled at a table across from Bianca, she idly toyed with the paper from the straw in her hands as she considered the question. "Favorite part? The magic people, I think. Catching up on my sleep's been pretty great. I think the first night I slept almost fourteen hours, and I can't remember ever doing that."

She took a sip. "What about you?"

--

Having asked the question initially, it was only natural that it would come back to her. But Bianca wasn't sure what her answer was, or rather, what answer she was willing to share. "I think it's the chance to start over. I didn't ask to be here, and there's people I miss, but I don't mind it?" It was an honest answer, though she neglected to mention that she hadn't manipulated her way there, which meant no one could discover that fact about her.

Living without that secret was a weight off her shoulders.

--

Katniss nodded slowly. "I think I get that. There wasn't much..opportunity back home. I mean. We were rebuilding, but things were still pretty segregated, limited by district and when you could travel between the two. But here..I guess the smaller community helps. Different people." She paused. "I miss my sister. But I don't know if I'd want her here, either. Not with the giant people eating mazes or vampires that attack people if we're not careful."

She sat back in her seat. "I guess the hard part is now knowing what to do when you've got the chance to start over. At least- it is for me."

--

The corners of Bianca's mouth quirked up at that. "I'm going to school with kids who just completely ignore me, and that was what I wanted to do. I guess I should find out if there's more of us there and maybe have people I know in class next year." As it was, summer break would be a welcome reprieve from that particular brand of strange. "I'm learning though."

She considered Katniss. "Have you ever had a time in your life where you had… this much control and say in what you do?"

--

"I'd've been glad if people ignored me at school. I always got the spotlight when I least wanted it." Actually. That seemed to be a theme in her life, didn't it. Huh. She huffed a small laugh as Bianca admitted to learning enough.

The small smile faded at the next question, though, as she paused to consider it. Katniss took a careful breath, considering her response. "Not..exactly. I mean, as a child, there were my parents. And I guess I had some freedoms after my dad died, but I was still tied down, taking care of my sister and everything my mother wouldn't. Then the games, and the rebellion.." Shaking her head, she cast a wry smile back at Bianca. "No, I guess this would be the first, really. I mean, after, back in Twelve, I could do what I wanted. But there weren't really that many options."

--

Bianca listened, knowing she couldn't understand the world Katniss had arrived from, the only thing she really related to was growing up without a father and maybe taking care of herself. She considered Katniss as she spoke, appreciating the honesty but wondering if she wasn't somehow compelling her to share more readily than she might have otherwise done.

She'd heard about the other night at Todash where people were speaking more freely than they otherwise might. She hadn't been there, and while at first she'd been debating going she was glad in the end that she hadn't. This may be a different world where she hadn't sirened her way into the life she wanted, but she was still a siren. And her amulet wasn't 100% foolproof. She didn't need that additional stress.

Deciding, or convincing herself that maybe Katniss was speaking freely on her own, Bianca nodded. "No wonder it's difficult then. This may be a small town, but you still have plenty of options. It may take some time to explore them and see what you enjoy."

--

"Too many options. Sometimes I don't even know what to pick to eat. I stand in the grocery store staring at the shelves and I'm tempted to just grab one of everything and try it all." Katniss did smile at that. "And the job helps. Keeps me busy. And being outside is nice. It doesn't feel as..enclosed. But Pickman house.."

She hesitated. "I appreciate that it's safe. But it's still..crowded for me. I keep thinking of looking for something else, but I don't know if I want to share a space or find something for myself, just. Away from others."

--

"If it makes you feel any better, I stand in the grocery store staring at the shelves wondering what's up with the marketing," Bianca replied. "I can't even tell what anything is, unlike at home. I don't recognize any of the brands, but I guess with time that will change."

Again, Bianca nodded. "Have you looked at any of the places available to rent around here? See how much that would cost and if you could swing it or if you'd need to find people to share the cost? I used to live in a dorm, so this is actually more private, but I get it."

She thought she did at least. You could walk down the halls of Pickman and run into three or four people just on your way in or out.

--

"The marketing?" Katniss hadn't even thought about that. Everything was so brightly colored, so different from Twelve. They basically had only what the Capitol had sent them, which..really wasn't much. "I don't think we ever had brands back home- the Capitol had control of everything before."

She shook her head. "Not yet. I only just started thinking about it, since I just started my job. I had thought I'd ask some of the people from my world, but when I brought it up to one of them, he seemed pretty against the idea, so maybe asking the others isn't a great idea." Katniss shrugged. "I had a house all to myself back at Twelve. It was..too big. So maybe something in between would be nice."

--

"If you want someone to go with you, I can," Bianca offered. "I haven't lived at home for a while, and while my circumstances were different, I did have to find a place to stay in between terms." She didn't mention that in order to secure housing, she'd used her siren song. This really was a blank slate, and Pickman House had handed her a place to live without her having to worry about it.

--

"I..might take you up on that," Katniss replied, almost surprised that she would admit to that. Usually she balked at accepting help, but she supposed the sense of community here and the rest of the others from Panem might be rubbing off on her. Weird. "That sounds..difficult. But you might know what to look for or say more than I would. I'd..appreciate it. Thank you."

--

Bianca had no doubt she'd be able to help, though she suspected Katniss would have no trouble reading creepy vibes off a creepy potential landlord. But she did have an idea of what to look for in a place, and red flags to avoid. Even if Dunwich seemed unpredictable so it was hard to really judge.

"You're welcome," she said easily as their pizzas were delivered to the table. "At least then you'll know what you're deciding on. It's a step."

She grabbed a slice of pizza, falling silent as she ate. Yes, she was attending school and learning, but Bianca figured she could learn far more from the various people she now found herself surrounded by. Maybe house or apartment hunting was a way of returning the favor.

--

"Yeah. Seems like the first steps are always the hardest, cliche as that sounds." Katniss again had to wonder how Bianca seemed to know so much, how things seemed so easy for her. She looked up as their pizzas arrived and nodded a thanks to the server, reaching for a slice once the plate was in front of her.

She was quiet for a minute- this was..good. The cheese was what made it, she thought. The toppings were alright, she supposed, and the crust wasn't the greatest as far as bread type items she'd had in the past, but the cheese helped a lot. After her first slice, she looked across to Bianca, picking up a second. "So- I know you'd mentioned at least one other girl from your world. Are there others here?"

--

"Wednesday," Bianca affirmed with a nod and a slight smirk. "She's hard to miss."

A pause and another bite of pizza. "At least we get along now." Though sure, it was Bianca who had treated Wednesday as competition while acting like she was beneath her at the same time. They'd moved past that.

"Enid was apparently here for a hot minute. We're not all that close either."

--

"I remember seeing her around. And- I think she's the one who plays the big- uh. Cello?" Katniss couldn't remember the name of the instrument she'd heard echoing down the halls of Pickman late at night before, when the nightmares would keep her up.

"That's..good, at least. Better than hating the people you're stuck with, at least. It'd be..tough, I think, being here if the only people you knew were people you didn't like."

--

Bianca nodded in response, finishing her bite before answering out loud. "That's a cello, yes. She's annoyingly good at it." And then gave a shrug toward being stuck with people who she didn't like. "It's definitely preferable this way, but if I don't like someone, there's no reason for me to deal with them. It's only when they try to get involved with people I care about that it makes a difference."

She'd observed enough to gather that Katniss at least knew a few people there. "So what about you? Like or dislike the people from your world who are here?" Given the nature of Katniss's world, things could get ugly fast, but since they hadn't maybe there wasn't anyone that horrific from there in Dunwich. Which raised the question of if that was a possibility to begin with.

--

"Yeah, it's been..nice, kinda. When I couldn't sleep before. Gave me something to concentrate on for a little bit. Reminded me that I wasn't in the games still." Katniss nodded. "Yeah, I get that."

She was quiet for a moment, considering. "I don't know all of them very well," she admitted. "Most of them are from different versions of my world. Only two of them come from my world, and they're..good friends. And the others- the ones I know versions of are kinda like the ones I know so it's easy to forget sometimes that I don't know them or they don't know me, so..yeah, I guess I mostly like them."

--

"Better than hating them," Bianca pointed out as she tilted her head slightly, considering Katniss. Bianca had seen enough network errors to assume she'd be sent back home eventually, and she'd deal with that when the time came. But someone like Katniss wasn't necessarily better off back in her world.

With no discernable rhyme or reason to who arrived and who left, she wasn't sure what she felt about any of it, presently.

--

"Yeah, definitely. At least here nobody's trying to kill me," Katniss agreed. She reached for her drink, taking another sip as she debated another slice, or a box to just take the rest home. "It wouldn't be so bad for me if I were to go back, I guess. The worst of it's over, and they're rebuilding everything. My sister's there. I'd miss all the food and stuff, though. But the others- I think it'd be a lot harder for them. They haven't been through everything I have yet."

--

That was interesting. Wednesday was pulled from a different point in time than she herself had been. Apparently that wasn't uncommon. Alternate versions of the same world meant that it was possible Xavier was alive in hers. Bianca was grateful that Wednesday had been forthcoming about the future. Her inability to sugarcoat bad news had shown itself useful. But maybe that wasn't their fate anymore.

"That's weird, that you come from different versions of the same world. Isn't it?"

--

"Mm, yeah, a little weird." Katniss nodded. "It's not something I'd ever really thought about before. Multiple versions and universes and timelines. Our timeline was hard enough- I can't imagine that there's another out there where we had it worse. Or the timeline where it's better."

A part of her wondered what it would be like if she ever met that version of her. "I mean. Haymitch and Ani- they're still mostly like the ones I know. Overall, I mean. The ones I know are older, so there's like. A bunch of stuff they went through that these two haven't. But I guess the weirdest part is just like. Seeing them young and forgetting that they don't know me. They don't have the reasons to care like they did back home."

--

"Wow," Bianca said softly, unable to withhold her reaction to that last statement. "That's got to be hard," she added. "With everything you went through there." She didn't have to fight off that realization with Wednesday, who had told her Xavier had died and then sent Bianca off to Thing to cope with that news. Emotional support wasn't an expectation.

--

"It..is a little. I mean. I kept my distance back home, too? Mostly with the nightmares and stuff, I didn't wanna bother them with my stuff, especially when they were finding happiness and peace together. But they still like. Reached out to me, invited me for dinner sometimes, or checked in on me. I don't think I realized how much I liked it 'til I came here." Katniss hadn't even really realized it until now, to be honest. She thought she was getting full, and she eyed what was left of her pizza. It seemed like a waste to leave it, but she didn't think she could eat it all now. But- they let people take stuff home, right? She saw people with pizza boxes at Pickman all the time.

"But it's fine. I'll be alright. Gonna look into that therapy stuff soon I think. I don't know if it'll help. I dunno what dragging it all up or talking about my feelings is gonna do, but." She shrugged.

--

"Probably more than you expect," Bianca answered honestly. That had been her experience with therapy, the few times she had gone. Whether or not that was a good or bad thing she left unclear. She'd quit because she didn't want to discuss everything with a stranger, and was slightly afraid that her mother would find out and use her own siren song to find out everything. That was before Bianca realized Gabrielle even knew where she was, back when Bianca still thought she could escape.

"Sometimes people surprise you," she added thoughtfully. Again, it wasn't necessarily clear what she was referring to.

She was also getting full, and she nodded at the remaining pizza. "We can take that with us."

And she took that opportunity to go ask for a box, figuring she'd send it back with Katniss.

--

"That's what they keep telling me." Katniss sighed, finishing off her soda. She supposed Haymitch and Ani could surprise her- Ani certainly seemed to care, but she'd been so busy with illness and Junia's arrival and everybody else. "Yeah, I guess. People here that I don't know surprise me all the time."

Katniss nodded, a little relieved that Bianca managed to answer her unspoken question. Leaning over, she reached into her pocket to dig out some of the cash she had so she could pay for her part of the meal. "That'd be great, thanks."

--

"Yeah," Bianca agreed with a slight laugh. "In both good and bad ways."

She wasn't one to use the network frequently, but she did read it quite often. And there was something going on in Dunwich.