InsaneJournal

It was quiet. It was the sort of quiet that might have almost unnerved Esther; were that at the house that she rented with her brother, it might not have even been a thought to linger over, but normally there was some shade of chaos going on in Chase's apartment. It was a chaos that she had come to appreciate, for the most part. Esther genuinely liked Mica and Jessie, their unique personalities having been intriguing to her when she'd first met them, though had quickly morphed into her appreciating them for who they were as friends. The same went for the others she had met through Chase, his apartment seeming to be a revolving door for them at any given time. It was all quiet now, though.

She wasn't unnerved by it, however. It was impossible to be, not when she was curled on her side, her head resting against Chase to use his stomach as a pillow and her book ("All the Stars and Teeth", as she had been feeling some YA fantasy when she'd made her selection before coming over) propped up via a combination of the mattress of his bed and his arm. Her hand varied between petting and scritching the ears of a sprawled out Grumpkin and turning pages.

In all of her relationship history, Esther couldn't recall someone she could just be quiet with. With anyone she had dated in the past, it so often felt as though a stretch of silence had needed to be filled with conversation or something. As this relationship developed, though, she came to cherish the moments of quiet that they shared. They could simply read together, just as they were, without the air between them dipping into awkward. It might have been a small thing in the eyes of some, but to someone who cherished her moments of peace where she could recharge her introverted batteries, it felt like an actual blessing to have found someone that didn't drain her, that understood.

Then again, it wasn't the first time that she had considered her meeting Chase to be something of a blessing. Esther had considered herself lucky to have met him long before they officially determined themselves in a relationship. That had only strengthened in the weeks that had followed and felt especially true now, on the other side of a vacation and a life-changing decision regarding the baby they would welcome in around seven months.

But for as much as Esther liked the quiet, she couldn't help but get distracted by his presence, too. After rereading the same paragraph a few times before determining she needed a break, she looked up toward Chase and the cover of his book that blocked her view of his face. Moving her hand from where it had been buried in Grumpkin's fur, she slipped her index finger under the spine of his book and slowly lifted it, a just as slow smile growing on her face as his was revealed to her. That was one way to get his attention, she supposed.

Chase had never really been around people that let him feel quiet, until Esther. He certainly had never dated one who found peace just being. And God had he appreciated not having to be anything but himself around her. She was still utterly distracting in all ways - not her fault, Chase was just ridiculously enamored, more than he'd ever been with anyone.

He'd been absently running a hand along her side, as far as he could reach, for several chapters now. It was only a matter of time before that ended up distracting them both, and he knew that.

But then his book was slowly pushed up, and his own smile blossomed without any effort at all. He looked down at her, eyebrow raised, and tried to stay composed. "Hello. Can I do something for you?"

Esther withdrew her hand just long enough from where it had been nudging his book up to slip her bookmark into her book so it could do its job and mark her place without worry. That taken care of, she set the book aside and lifted her hand once more, this time bypassing the book and going straight for Chase's jawline, where her fingers ran along it gently. Still smiling, her expression went a bit teasing, though her words were no less sincere in the moment. "I just felt a need to see you, that's all."

That alone was another wonder, Esther had long since realized. She also appreciated the fact that she could just be herself with him; even when he had just been a fan that had been kind on the internet and before she'd moved to Dunhaven, she had always felt like she could be herself. There was something about Chase that just put her at complete ease. There was so much more to him, she had found as they'd grown closer and closer, but that foundation had played into now, where she felt no hesitation or worry about being generous with her affections. That hadn't always been the case in relationships of the past, where she'd too often felt the expectations to be someone she wasn't.

Such a simple sentence made him flush with color, and he couldn't mask his grin as he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. He leaned back up and tucked his bookmark into the page before setting the book aside gently. He knew he could've kept it, could've gone back to reading after a quick kiss, but full stop, Chase enjoyed Esther's company. She quieted his mind better than anyone he had ever met.

And she grabbed his attention and kept it better than anyone, as well. He trailed a finger down her arm, lightly. Things had been chaotic for their brains the last few weeks, and hers even longer as she had rushed to finish her deadline, which meant he was more worried than usual about everything. "What's on your mind?"

"You." It was the easiest answer, albeit a slightly teasing one. It was also the truest answer and she made it a rule to be as honest with him as she possibly could. He had become her greatest distraction in the months she'd known him, a distraction that she hadn't realized she had needed in her life until he was in it. It wasn't as though there had been a part of her missing without Chase (it was also far too cheesy of a sentiment for Esther to lean into), but he had come to fit at her side in such a way that she didn't want to go back to knowing what it was like without him.

That was a longer answer than the one she gave, of course. It was also an extended answer that she thought she should give him. She let her fingers run along his jaw and over his cheek just once before she let her hand come to rest on Chase's chest. "The last couple of months have been a bit wild, you know? Surprise niece, moving across the country, staring at the quickly approaching end of the books, a pregnancy." She paused to give him a wry smile at that, having adjusted enough to the knowledge of that particular stressor to be at least somewhat teasing, before continuing. "And while I know that, save for the last as it takes two and all that, I'd have been able to handle all that on my own, I'm very glad that I haven't had to, because I've had you. There will always be parts of life that are stressful, but those mountains don't seem so big when you're around."

Esther's cheeks flushed just a bit at the words, despite that they were easy to say to him. But she knew that there was more she wanted to say, words that she'd only ever said to a very select few. She waited, though, pausing to gauge his reaction to this particular bout of emotional honesty before piling even more on.

Chase's words were careful, well-thought and fond, as he looked down at her. Emotional honesty was never something he had been particularly good at - the emotional part, specifically - but he did try more with her than he did with anyone else. Esther was special. She was like him in so many ways, but so refreshingly different in others that it kept him on his toes.

When he finally did speak, he cleared his throat first. "I think it's just a normal part of my life now, for things to be a rollercoaster and take the turns you ever expect." His fingers ran along her side, and over her arm, slowly. "But, that is not a complaint. Especially as far as you are concerned. That rollercoaster is good for me, I think. And what I know is that you are even better for me." And that was true, and fierce. "I would climb those mountains with you - for you - with no hesitation."

In that moment, Esther had to wonder if she was truly deserving of this man. She hadn't been looking for someone like him -- she hadn't been looking for someone at all. Her life had been good before she had come to Dunhaven. Perhaps lonely at times, but she was content. She had a loving mother and brother, her cats, and a career that had been a dream come true. Then she had come to Dunhaven for Gabriel and Ella and she had stayed for them as well, but also because of this man. This man who had been a cute and intriguing librarian only months ago and was now still that, but also the father of her unborn child and someone she had fallen in love with.

Now, she decided, was a good time to tell him about the last.

Esther straightened from where she was lounged against Chase, lifting herself just enough so she could lean in, hand coming to rest at his cheek as she kissed him slow and gentle. A few moments passed before she backed away, thumb sweeping over his cheekbone. "I love you, Chase."

Oh.

He should've been expecting it, it was clearly the right moment, and words he'd said in his own head often enough. But he hadn't been brave enough to say them outloud, not when they were fragile. They were far less fragile these days. Far more stable, more sure of each other and themselves. She'd helped him feel more sure of his own self more in the past several months than anyone else he'd ever dated.

"Ich liebe dich auch, Esther." He realized immediately that she wouldn't necessarily know what he said there, without some clarification, and leaned back against his headboard to look down at her with a fond expression. "I love you too," the follow up was simple, easier than he expected it to be.

Probably because it felt right. "I hope that was obvious, at least. I know I am bad at emotions at times."

Despite that it had both been obvious and she had been expecting it, Esther felt a warmth bloom within her chest that very nearly took her off guard. She hadn't any cause to doubt or wonder about the depths of his feelings; they had always felt so clear to her through his actions and words, both direct and indirect. But hearing him confirm it -- in two languages, no less -- was something else entirely.

"I had a feeling," she replied, her smile laced with more than just a few emotions as she settled back down in her spot against him. "I like hearing it, though."

Esther reached for one of Chase's hands, holding it between both of her own. Her expression went thoughtful, lingering on the words he'd said before she tentatively tested them out herself. "Ich -- " she started, brow furrowing as she adjusted the pronunciation to match his own before repeating, "Ich liebe dich auch." The words came slowly, an effort being made to say them right and not butcher the poor language. Her eyes flickered to meet Chase's. "Is that right?"

It was impossible to keep his grin from growing the second she started trying. He thought about attempting to coach her through it, but knew she was vastly more intelligent than he was and could get a handle on it without his help. And he wasn't wrong. Chase made an approving sort of noise, before leaning down to kiss her with a fair amount of feeling behind it.

"Very good, especially for a first attempt." He brushed a lock of hair away from her face, over her shoulder. "That does remind me, though- if I told you that I was thinking of applying for a job at the University in German Studies, what would you think?" He'd been putting off asking her advice on the topic, because he still hadn't decided himself, but-- well, no time like the present.

Esther tipped her head to the side at the question, a smile starting at the corner of her mouth as she considered. She could see it, of course. Chase was smart, far smarter than she would ever consider herself to be, and she thought that anyone that might have a chance to learn under him would be incredibly lucky. She also thought that the university would be crazy if they didn't consider him, but that was her bias showing. More than any of that, though, her priority was seeing Chase happy and if a change in career did that, then that's what she wanted for him.

"I think that would be amazing," Esther said, the smile that had started now growing to full. "I would be sad to not see you whenever I come in to write at the library, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for you." It was a joke, of course, and she sobered a bit as she added, "But seriously, if that's something that you are interested in and would want to do, I absolutely think you should."

"I promise I will make every effort to still go to the library as much as time allows," Chase promised. It was an easy promise to make, since it was one of his favorite places. But the job itself afforded no real … excitement. Promise. It was what he needed after the military, when he first came to Dunhaven and wanted a clean break from everything.

But now he was done running away from things that made him happy, and excited. "They may not have an opening." Happy and excited, but ever practical, Chase was. "But it's something I would like to look into."

His fond expression was turned back on her, and he leaned in for another kiss, this time letting it linger. "But if they do have a position for me, we may have to work out those library fantasies while it is easier to get away with."

A laugh immediately burst from Esther, though it didn't stop her from leaning in and punctuating his sentence with one more kiss, also allowing it to linger -- it seemed like the only real choice, given the direction of the conversation. It was also only a matter of time, truth be told. Chase was entirely too distracting.

Still, she broke away just long enough to tease, "I'm going to hold you to that," before stealing one more kiss.

"It would make for an exciting fall, you know," Esther pointed out, meeting his gaze with a soft smile. "I have something scheduled in fall. This book thing. I'm sure it wouldn't interest you." Her smile turned mischievous at that, all while one of her hands found his and guided it to her stomach. "Then there was this other thing that came up recently that's currently scheduled to arrive in late September." Esther let her head list to the side, eyes staying on Chase. "I like exciting, though, especially when it's good exciting, like all of this, and it's with you. If it would make you happy, then I support you one hundred percent."

Chase ran his palm over her stomach, just ever so slightly rounded now - enough that they knew it, even if he couldn't feel anything touching back. "When you have a half dozen more books published and a netflix show contract, I will happily retire to being a house-" He almost said husband, but knew that was far too soon, and settled on another word that was still busy settling in his stomach. "Dad."

It was an easy move to let his hands wander other places after, along the planes of her body. "An exciting year. I haven't liked the sound of that in a long time, but with you…" He trailed off, and leaned in to kiss her again, finishing his sentence without words.