Thomas Corvin ♖ Jest (jesting) wrote in dunhavenic, @ 2019-08-01 14:33:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log, * jeanne, * terri, c: calliope corvin, c: thomas corvin |
WHO: Thomas and Calliope Corvin
WHEN: May 20, 2019
WHERE: Their Home
SUMMARY: A conversation about family planning.
WARNINGS: None!
It had been a few weeks since their discussion about dreams. That had taken a weight off of Calliope’s shoulders that she had not understood the full burden of until it had been shared. With her mind eased from those worries, it had given her time and space to think about other things. Increasingly, her thoughts had turned still to family and the passage of time. It was nearly Thomas’ birthday, and he would be turning twenty-eight. They’d been together more than seven years now. For the first time since their relationship had begun, they were settled into a place that they loved without obligations of school or brand new jobs. All those little factors had brought the idea of children back to the forefront of her mind. They’d discussed it before, always in “somedays” or “when the time was right.” Calliope had never been insistent upon needing to have children, but neither had she been opposed. The question that always lingered in the back of her mind over what kind of mother she would be plagued her incessantly, sometimes stifling her with unnecessary fears when she considered what it might be like to have a child of her own in her arms. Those fears, however, were a little less burdensome with the good example of Elisabeth Corvin in her life. The fact that her cousin Caty was recently expecting only intensified the idea seriously considering whether or not it was time to take that step. It wasn’t a decision that she could or would make on her own. If Thomas still wanted to wait, they could revisit the idea again in another six months or a year, but it had been at least a year since they had seriously talked about it. When they had moved to Dunhaven that January, the realtor had mentioned that it was a house they could...grow into. Even still, Thomas had just been starting his job with the school system and they were in a new town. It hadn’t been time yet. Now that Dunhaven felt like home...maybe it was. She stepped out onto the patio, the cool evening air refreshing after a warm spring day. A grin instantly lifted her lips when she spotted Thomas seated at the bench there against the house. It was in the shade now. His focus was on the book in his hands, but Calliope didn’t think he would terribly mind being interrupted now that she had finished editing her latest baking video. She settled onto the bench next to him, but didn’t immediately say anything. At the very least, she’d let him finish whatever sentence or paragraph he had been caught up in. -- It wasn't quite yet summer break, but those days were getting closer, and Thomas was eager to spend that first free season in Dunhaven. Not that he didn't enjoy teaching, of course- it was his passion, and this semester had really cemented how right this move had been. He had pulled a book from their library (because, yes, they had a small library, between books inherited from his mother, science texts, and other miscellany) and settled in outside on the patio. The afternoon shadows made it comfortable even in the nearly summer weather, and he was quickly engrossed in the story. Calliope's presence was noticed, of course, but they had a long-standing practice and consideration of not interrupting until such a time as a break could be taken. Finally, he set his bookmark in on the page, closed the book, and turned slightly to face her. "Hello there, Mrs Corvin." -- If there had been something urgent, Calliope wouldn’t have minded interrupting him. This, however, was a conversation they would navigate at whatever pace felt comfortable. It only took a moment or two in order to give the grace to finish his paragraph, and then his attention was all on her. Her heart skipped a beat at the mention of her name - title - though she’d claimed it a few years ago now, “Hello, husband.” She turned on the bench and stretched her legs out across his lap, her side leaning into the back of the bench. “I finished the last of my editing. For now, anyway.” There would always be more, the next time that she filmed something new. It was her way of contributing to their income, though, so it was important that she set time aside for it even when she would rather be doing exactly this. She didn’t want to jump headlong into this without any preamble. She didn’t want him to spend a moment fretting, and she hadn’t quite worked out how she wanted to bring it up just yet. Instead, she paused a moment and offered, “It’s actually really nice out here. I’m looking forward to getting to use this space more now that it’s warmed up.” -- The book had been tucked in at the side of the bench, and when Calliope put her legs across his lap, he rested a hand just at her knees. "I can't wait to see it." Thomas didn't always get to see the things that Calliope made as they were done, since he was often busy with his own work- but he always made certain to catch it once they were posted online. (He was her top follower.) "I don't think I'd realized how much I'd missed having this kind of space until we moved here," he admitted. "Even if I didn't always want to be the one doing outdoor activities." His hobbies and interests tended to be on the quieter side. "But we could definitely have people over, if you wanted, too." -- “It’s a good one. A spring recipe for blueberry lavender cupcakes,” she sighed a little wistfully just thinking about it. There weren’t any left, as she had baked them a few days ago, but they had been absolutely delicious. She appreciated how dedicated he was to following her work. She couldn’t always return the favor quite the same way, but she always did attend any award ceremonies for the kids that he taught. “It’s definitely refreshing. I loved our apartments, but this is just so much quieter...and more private,” she mused. Neither of them were the kind to spend hours upon end outdoors, but they could enjoy having dinner on their patio, or even a small get together, if they wished, “That would be nice sometime, I think. We’ve made a few friends. Maybe later this summer we can have a small barbeque or something.” She paused just a moment, realizing this might be a good moment to hedge into the topic that she’d been considering bringing up to him for a few days now. “It is...a lot of space just for us...if we were to make a more permanent addition.” There was plenty of room in this yard, too, for a child to run and play. The thought made her heart thud a little harder against her ribs. There were things that she knew she would have to overcome - personally - on such a journey. Whatever damage her mother had done to the thoughts she sometimes had when she looked in the mirror had not been completely overridden. She thought, however, she had gained the mental and emotional tools to guide her through the changes that would take place if she were to conceive a child. -- He didn't always understand the flavor combinations that she came up with, but there had never yet been one that hadn't tasted amazing, at the end of it. "No neighbors above or below us, banging on walls or making noise at all hours of the night..." It hadn't always been quite that dramatic, but they'd lived among students and the like, so it wasn't always peaceful and quiet. "No traffic or sirens waking us up..." He leaned back a bit, resting his head gently against the wall behind him, eyes lidding closed as he mused aloud, "A barbecue would be good, I think. And we'll have to take our Chincoteague trip, too, at some point." ...a more permanent addition. Thomas' eyes opened again, but he didn't immediately glance over to Calliope. "We... knew it was a lot of space, when we bought it," he offered, carefully. "But you fell in love with the kitchen, and it wasn't out of our budget." Thomas wasn't deliberately trying to ignore her suggestion, he was just... working his way up to it. "What... kind of permanent addition are you thinking about? I'm... 97% sure I know, but... you know me, Calliope. I like certainty." -- At first, being away from the noise of the city had been almost unsettling until she had gotten used to it. She’d grown up in a too-quiet house, of course, so she liked the happy medium of having neighbors a short, respectable distance away, but still have the ability to hear cars on the street and the occasional neighborhood kid laughing while they played with friends. It was a different sort of noise...the kind that came with living in a close-knit community rather than a bustling city, “We’ll definitely go to Chincoteague. At least once.” She wasn’t complaining about the space, and all of the things that he commented on were just exactly right. Facts. Solid, known entities, “If the three percent is you thinking I’m asking for a puppy, you’d be wrong.” She knew it wasn’t really a joking matter, but she also didn’t want this to be an incredibly serious - especially not an unhappy - discussion. She reached out and slid her hand over his at her knees, biting the inside of her cheek for a moment, “I just want to talk about it. If it’s still not time, I understand...but I’d like to discuss the possibility of trying for a baby.” -- "Not a puppy, then. Noted." Thomas smiled gently, and his eyes drifted closed once more as she spoke. It wasn't meant as a sign of disrespect by any means, of course. He was listening intently, and closing his eyes shut out any other distractions. Thomas flipped his hand over, under hers, and laced their fingers together. "I've thought, more than once, that Dunhaven reminds me a lot of where I grew up." She'd visited that St Louis suburb several times- his parents still lived in the same house. "And even with... some of the unexpected changes we've had, since moving here, I do think it's somewhere we could be happy staying for a good, long while. I know some families move around a lot, for whatever various reasons they have, but I... I'd want to offer what stability I could, even if it's just in the surroundings." -- She squeezed his hand a little, her side pressed to the back of the bench as she looked over at him as he spoke. Dunhaven was a nice town. The people formed a real community, which she loved. Even if it didn’t have some of the amenities of a larger city, they were still close enough to DC that it wasn’t as though they would miss out if they wanted to go to a museum or something. The dreams were...a strange quirk, but Calliope wondered if they’d continue to have those dreams even if they moved elsewhere. “I have no interest in continuing to move around either. I want the same kind of stability. That’s not to say that I would 100% rule it out if several years down the road we find we’re not as happy as we are now. As long as there’s no reason to move, though...Dunhaven is great and I love our house. We’re...truly settled somewhere I can see us being happy and growing our family.” There was a moment where she paused, considering, “I know...it would change things. We’ve grown accustomed to it just being us, and I’m not at all unhappy with that. I love you, and I love the life that we have built together. I don’t know if there’s ever a perfect time, but...we could at least think about it?” -- "Life changes things, every day." And it was the scientist in him, of course, but it wasn't as if he could easily turn that off. "Every cell in our body," or near enough, for the purposes of this conversation, "is changed or replaced in time. We grow and adapt and… become." Still. "I know that's… not exactly what you mean, of course. I love our life, Calliope. We've worked hard to make our way to this place," physically and otherwise, "together." Finally having opened his eyes, Thomas offered Calliope a small smile. "We're thinking about it now, aren't we?" -- She had grown accustomed to the way that he thought about - processed - things over time. His scientist’s mind was one of the things that she loved about him. He was logical, but still possessed some mixture between optimism and realism that kept them always striving for the best outcome. Smiling softly, she nodded, “We are. I guess I just want to know what your thoughts and feelings are about it. We are in a good and stable place now, but where is your heart at with it? I know it always sort of seemed...far off before?” The last thing that Calliope wanted was for Thomas to just go with it purely out of a desire to make her happy. It would change both of their lives...permanently. They at least had the luxury of making the decision together rather than it being a surprise that they had to adapt to regardless of readiness. -- Before meeting Calliope- before realizing that Calliope was his forever- Thomas hadn't given much thought to the idea of one day becoming a parent. But it was something they'd long since agreed would be in their future, even if said future had often been sort of nebulous and full of somedays. "I had- have- two of the best examples of parents that I could have hoped for. And seeing them makes me… less apprehensive about the idea of being a parent, myself. I know it will require change and adjustment, and there will be… more things I don't know than those I do." Which was, admittedly, a little uncomfortable. "A child brings many unknown variables to our otherwise… symbiotic relationship. But that doesn't make it a poor choice, so long as it's undertaken for the right reasons." -- Honestly, had his parents not been such fantastic examples of what a family should be, Calliope would have been much more hesitant about becoming a mother herself. Though she’d casually observed positive parental relationships with some of her friends growing up or on television, actually experiencing the unconditional love of a parent wasn’t something she could truly say she’d had until she met his parents. They had loved her from the start, just as she was. That had been an amazing - and novel - feeling. “It’s something you learn as you go, I think,” she offered, “But we could get all of the best books, and I’m sure there’s probably some documentaries or something out there. There are things we could do to prepare ourselves. They have classes - not just for pregnancy, but for parenting, too. We could look into some of those. Part of it really is a skill set that can be learned...and the rest is just...love. We already know we have a lot of that.” Calliope didn’t have a set reason on why now, in this moment, she had decided that it was time. It was something she’d thought about off and on over time, though, so it didn’t feel like a rushed decision. Instead, it had been a very drawn out one. Her own nerves and worries about parenting had likely delayed her decision longer than it would have been in any other situation. -- "Love was never a question." Thomas drew her hand up, kissing the back of it, then let their hands fall back into place again. "I have no doubt that I'll be availing myself of every resource I can find." He was quiet for a moment, considering and calculating, then offered, "It would… perhaps be advantageous if we could… aim for my summer break. So that I could be more useful, beyond the standard paternity leave that the district offers." -- Her heart fluttered excitedly in her chest as he brushed the kiss against the back of her hand. It was a simple, chaste gesture, but they were really talking about this. Planning. Not just in the hypothetical. It was startling to realize just how much she wanted this. “It’s hard to pinpoint it exactly, but we certainly could try? If it doesn’t work out quite right, we’ll figure things out, but...if I got pregnant sometime this fall, the due date would fall next summer break. I don’t want you to miss out on anything. We could...maybe start trying in August? If it happened immediately, that would be in the realm of May, but I’d rather be on the early side of summer than the late end, if possible?” She knew plenty of women did it, but if she wasn’t incredibly pregnant in the high heat of mid-summer, she wouldn’t complain. -- "I think there will, unfortunately, always be some things that I miss, just by virtue of working outside the home." Better to be resigned to as much now, anyway. Though they had a fairly significant amount of money in the bank from Calliope's trust fund, they'd long since agreed that it would be used sparingly. And he didn't want to give up teaching. "But I… know what you mean." A nod. An agreement. "That would give you some time to come off your medication, at least, yes?" Thomas had, admittedly, only briefly read up on the chemistry of such things a long time ago, so it was likely that she knew more about it, but he seemed to remember that merely stopping the dosages didn't immediately clear their effects from one's system. -- “I know...mostly I meant those first few weeks and months. It will be the time of most significant change for all of us,” she explained, though she hated for him to miss out on other important things. Right after the baby was born would be difficult, but easier with the two of them working together. It seemed important for bonding, too. Calliope nodded with a small smile, “Yes. It’s been a little while since I asked the doctor about it directly, but the last time I discussed it with them, they said to stop any time I wanted. With the kind of medication I’m on, the window of all cycles returning to normal is around one to three months. I’d pretty much just...stop taking it, and it will work its way out of my system from there. Keeping in mind that it’s also possible that I could immediately ovulate...so once I’m off of it, if we do really want to wait until at least August, condoms may be our friend.” -- He nodded as she spoke, taking in this information and filing it away as necessary. "Well," Thomas tried not to smile, mostly unsuccessfully, "thank you for suggesting condoms and not abstinence, at least." The latter would likely come into play if and when she got pregnant, but that was part of the… process, perhaps. "I suppose it's just a question of how important that timing is, in the end. It's perhaps a silly question, but would it upset you to fall pregnant before August? Knowing that my paternity leave might not cover the whole time after the birth but before summer break." -- She couldn't help but laugh gently at his thanks, though it was no question. The idea of refraining from intimacy altogether just to time her pregnancy was unappealing to say the least, "I suspect the only time abstinence will come into play are the few weeks directly following the birth." It would allow her time to heal, and she didn't think she needed to explain that. She considered his question a moment before she gave her answer, not wanting to appear that she took it lightly. Her final answer, however, was what had first come to mind, "No. I wouldn't be upset. You would still get at least a little reprieve at the beginning, and then the summer break would follow a few weeks later. I guess, ideally, earlier is better than later." If she got pregnant later in the fall, his entire break would be spent with her in the late stage of her pregnancy, only for him to return to school just as the baby was born. That was something she didn't want, for his sake. He deserved that time if they could make it happen. -- He'd nodded to that, a gentle hmm of agreement. They would deal with such things as they came, and with ample discussion and understanding between the two of them, as always. "I suspected as much, but I just… wanted to be certain." It was far from a guarantee that she'd get pregnant right away, of course, --but Thomas didn't want to… embark on something like this without knowing that she'd be pleased with any number of different outcomes. "You know that, if and when it happens, mom and dad will move here." They had lived in St Louis their whole lives, yes, and though the elder Corvins had lamented the distance between them, they'd never really shown any sign of changing that. But his mother was already mostly retired, and his father could have retired two or three years ago and had just elected not to, yet. This would likely change their minds. -- "I would much rather be clear up front. Just in case it does happen sooner than August. If it doesn't upset you either…I don't guess we would have to replace any sort of contraceptive." She was happy to do whatever Thomas was comfortable with, but if they were both in agreement, at least neither of them would be displeased if the time frame was a little less than perfect. She knew over the years that his parents had been frustrated by the distance between them. They still communicated often, even if it wasn't quite the same as being together. They had never pressured the two of them about having children, even if they - like Calliope and Thomas - occasionally spoke in terms of potential futures, "It wouldn't surprise me if they did. I wouldn't complain either. I wasn't close with my own grandparents, and I always wondered what that sort of relationship would be like. It would be nice for us and for our child to have them nearby." -- "It doesn't upset me in the least, Calliope," Thomas insisted. "No matter when it happens, I'll have… seven months, or six at the very least, to prepare myself and… everything else for their arrival. It isn't so sudden as a stork arriving at our doorstep to declare us parents." He grinned a bit at that idea, for all its ridiculousness. "As awful as it likely sounds, I don't think I missed them quite so much until I met you." The reasons there, the way he'd taken having good parents for granted, seemed obvious but didn't need to be said aloud. "We'll just make sure that they know they're not living with us. A decrease in the three states between us is one thing, but I'd like a little more than one bedroom wall between us and my parents." -- She did manage a small giggle at the idea of a stork delivering a child instead of what would actually transpire, "At the very least, yes. I can test with some regularity knowing that we're trying, too." Calliope wasn't going to obsess over it, but she didn't think there was any harm in trying to prepare early. She could start taking additional vitamins early to give their child the very best start, too. "I don't think that sounds awful. It's just…adjustment to a shift in perspective," she squeezed his hand gently, but wouldn't pass judgement. A heartier laugh bubbled past her lips, but she nodded right along, "Definitely at least a house between us. Maybe a block, if we're lucky. I adore mama and dad. You know that...but keeping some semblance of boundaries will be important." After all, they were very much used to it just being the two of them. Adding a child would be change enough, at least within the walls of their own home. -- He hadn't really thought Calliope would argue that last point, but her agreement was appreciated- as was her laughter. Though he hadn't expected this conversation to come up today, nor for their previous decision to change, Thomas wasn't upset with how this had played out. He had every confidence in their us. "It sounds like we're in agreement, then, Mrs Corvin." |