Lyllianna Winters Stone ♘ Lyanna Stark (catalyzed) wrote in dunhavenic, @ 2019-03-24 14:08:00 |
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Entry tags: | !narrative, * terri, c: lyllianna stone |
WHO: Lyllianna Stone and Astrid Stone
WHEN: Today, March 24, 2019, afternoon.
WHERE: Rhys and Lyllia's house.
SUMMARY: Lyllianna remembers a Westerosi Lullaby
WARNINGS: Cuteness and feelings.
Five and a half weeks. That was how long she’d held Astrid in her arms rather than carrying her around, safe and hidden, within her own body. It had been five of the most joyful, hardest weeks of her life. There had been a lot of mostly sleepless nights, and crying from both parties on occasion. Lyllianna loved being a mother more than she possibly could have described previously. It was...different than before. She had been a stepmother to Rose and Ian for the last few years, and even though she loved them, it was different with Astrid. Rose and Ian didn’t need her like this tiny new girl did. She was reminded at every turn that no matter how much Rose looked like her, they were not her children. That was largely pointed out by Elena’s family. Even if she had felt a motherly figure in their lives and did her best to love them as unconditionally as she could muster, she was reminded again and again that it did not really make her their mother and she was always the inferior party. It was...fair, she supposed. She had been the other woman. They had committed an act of infidelity. There was no warmth between her and Elena, and there never would be. They could both love those children, but Lyllianna very firmly knew her place in their lives and she would never try to push those boundaries. She would give of herself to them, as much as they needed or wanted, but never more. But then there was Astrid, and that little girl - who looked so much the spitting image of Lyllianna - belonged just to her and Rhys. There was no guilt or shame or sense of hesitation. She could love Astrid as fiercely as she pleased, and no one could ever tell her that it was too much. Lyllianna was free to revel in her motherhood in a way that she never had been before. For the first time she was certain of every action that she took...that it would not be judged and measured by the Campbells or anyone else. Her words and decisions were not deemed to cross some boundary into territory that she was not allowed to be part of with this child. There would always be people, of course, that shamed mothers. She didn’t have to listen to them now, whereas she had always felt that she had to yield to those views before. Only she and Rhys knew what was just right for their daughter. If she was going to question anything, it was if she would be if she was doing everything she possibly could for Astrid. She wanted her to grow surrounded by love...hopefully in a less complicated situation than her siblings. Even in the hardest of moments, Lyllianna was still determined to enjoy every last second of these first few months, especially. She didn’t know if they would ever have another child. After her difficulty getting pregnant in the first place and the scare they’d had in the delivery, it was possible that Astrid would be the only child she ever had that she got to hold close while she was this small. Even if she wasn’t, Lyllianna wasn’t going to forsake these moments in wishing for more in the future. Astrid’s eyes were still dark blue, not having settled into any particular color yet, but she was a little drowsy as she looked up at her mother from where she was swaddled there in Lyllianna’s arms. Her cheeks were rosy and rounded, her lip pouting softly, though she wasn’t crying. Pushing her feet gently against the floor, Lyllianna rocked the both of them as she looked down at Astrid, a persistent melody repeating in the back of her mind. It wasn’t a lullaby that had ever been sung to her as a child, but she knew it as well as she knew those other sweet refrains. It was a gift from Lyanna, wanted or not, but it was the lullaby that she would have sung to her own child - to Aegon, or Jon...whichever his name truly was - should she have gotten the chance. Before she could stop herself, she hummed the tune for a verse, and the melody made Astrid’s eyes latch onto hers with rapt attention. “Sleep my child and peace attend thee, All through the night Guardian angels the gods will send thee, All through the night Soft the drowsy hours are creeping Hill and vale in slumber sleeping, I, my loving vigil keeping, All through the night.” Lyllianna sang the words in a soft, low croon as she rocked Astrid, and the little girl yawned wide, her eyes drifting just a little. With a small smile on her lips, Lyllianna started the next verse. “While the moon her watch is keeping All through the night While the weary world is sleeping All through the night O'er they spirit gently stealing Visions of delight revealing Breathes a pure and holy feeling All through the night.” Her chest ached a little, almost in longing. Lyanna, for the son that she did not get to raise. Lyanna, for the comfort of her childhood home in the North, with old Nan singing her these sweet verses. Lyllianna, for her own family who would never meet this beautiful little life that she had created to sing her lullabies of their own. The verses were bittersweet, and reminded her a little too much of Lyanna’s fate, but it had not been her own. “Love, to thee my thoughts are turning All through the night All for thee my heart is yearning, All through the night. Though sad fate our lives may sever Parting will not last forever, There's a hope that leaves me never, All through the night.” When she finished the last verse, Astrid’s eyes were closed and her breathing had deepend. Her small lips were parted just slightly in sleep, and her face was serene and relaxed. Whatever small thing that had been bothering her had been soothed away, no longer mattering. She never fussed too much as it was, and Lyllianna was grateful for that because every time she did cry, her heart broke a little. This venture into motherhood had been the most rewarding, and one of the most difficult things that she had ever done. She wouldn’t have traded a moment of it. She knew what it was not to have it and to long for it...to have it within her grasp and for all of it - her whole future - to be ripped away. Leaning back a little in the rocker and closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and thought to herself, All right, Lyanna. With you, I can share. Thank you for the lullaby. |