It's a lot, Max. In my eyes, you have nothing to apologize for. I can't imagine what you're going through or where your head might be.
Ever since Lyllia and I started having these dreams, it's always been my gut feeling that it wasn't going to end well. They were playing with forces much larger than themselves, Rhaegar especially. He had good ideas and I believe he might have been successful with his plans to make Westeros a better place, had he only had the chance to follow through on any of them. He acted quickly in some aspects of his life, but too slow in others. He was ruled by his heart. And though he loved his children -- Aeg Jon included, even if he never got the chance to meet him -- they suffered the most by his decisions. If he'd lived to regret anything, that would have been it.
Anyway. I'm glad you've reached out and I hope that you'll continue to. I know that I can speak for the both of us when I say that we want to be there for you when we can and that we do love you. You might not technically be my son in this world, but that doesn't change much in my heart. You're as important to me as the kids and Brynn.