Here is a radical idea. No matter what I say, you hate me. If I was upset, I would get berated. If I don't get upset, I am bad. I am trying not to be all "my life sucks" Novel, I know.
So rather than fighting, maybe I don't know, we should get off this thing and like... do something? Kick a psycho in the balls or something better than bickering over who is like the biggest bitchface.