Re: Neil D/Louis D
That you were living with someone at all, Neil. That you were having sex with that person. Absolutely you should make that clear to an ex. If you discovered that Sam was talking to an ex who broke her heart years before, and that she had neither mentioned you to that ex, nor told you that ex was in town, would you not be hurt? Would you not be suspicious of her intentions?
I don't know what to tell you, Neil. You haven't sorted things out, no, but I would assume part of that was because Sam was in rehab for heroin addiction. If she's been seeing someone on the side because she thinks you don't care about her, and because she's trying to cope with what happened to her months ago, I can work out the reasoning. You, I can't work you out, Neil. It's great that you don't want to get back with Chloe because, for the record, she seems like a nasty bitch, and she broke your heart once already. If Sam thinks you're just fucking, but you love her, that means you stick around, you tell her what's happening with you, and you try to talk with her. It means you have patience while she works through the mess her life has been because of what that bastard did to her. It doesn't mean you hide things from her, and try to spark a new relationship with your ex without being honest about it. There is nothing wrong with being friends with an ex. There's a lot wrong with pretending to the ex that you're single, and a lot wrong with not telling the 'girl you're fucking' that she's around. You know better than to think that's acceptable. Did Chloe ever ask if you were seeing anyone?
You're acting like you and Sam are in the same place emotionally, like she ought to be behaving more rationally, when we both know that you know what happened to her, and the addiction, and the rehab stint. She's going through a horrible time of it. Of course she thinks you don't care about her, when you pull stunts like this! You said yourself you don't know how to cope with caring about her. Clearly, that inability to deal with your feelings for her has left her completely unclear with what your relationship actually is, and whether you give a damn at all.
I am officially much more involved in this than I ever wanted to be. You're my brother and my sister. It's my job to look out for the both of you. I want you to be happy, and to sort through your drinking problem if you have one, and I want to try to help. I want Sam to start properly working through what happened to her, without drugs. I want the both of you to talk through whether you are dating or fuck-friends or I don't know what, so no more feelings get hurt and no one has their heart broken any worse. I can't make any of that happen. All I can do is tell you what I see.
Don't 'maybe it's best' me, I'm not in the mood. I'll try to get her somewhere safe, keep an eye on her, and make sure she's not fallen off the wagon. In the meantime, try to talk things through with her, no matter how hard it is. Tell her how you feel and get down on bended knee and apologize. And for God's sake, don't fuck your ex.