But I'm so damned scared, Casey, and it feels like no matter what I'm going to do, someone's going to be upset with me. Or I'm going to be upset with myself. I'm not used to being the person causing contention in the family. And now, I don't know what to do.
I want the baby. Maybe it's not the best decision, but it's what I want. But if I do that, I'm just hurting all of you. If I give it up for adoption, I'm still not going to be happy, but the rest of you would be happier with that. But the thought of giving a baby up just makes my heart ache. This is something I didn't know I wanted until it happened, and now I can't imagine not going through with it and that scares me.