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Tweak says, "Flying toasters!!!"

Alex Pye (niceguypye) wrote in ditched,
@ 2014-09-10 22:23:00

Entry tags:

!log, alex pye, corrie pye

Who: Corrie and Alex.
Where: Prides Practice Session.
When: Wednesday, Sept 10th.
What: Alex is a little concerned with some tensions he's noticed between Corrie and Gaius.
Warnings: None.

As Alex watched the Pride players fly across the field, he held his breath a bit. He had never done so before he became a Healer but it was hard to go through all that training and not have a different perspective on the sport. Now that he knew all of the time, effort, blood, sweat, and tears that went into mending serious injuries. He thought he would have been desensitized to any of that from all the exposure he'd had as a kid and playing himself when in school. It was also different now that it was his own sister who was taking such risks. Alex did his best to not let it show though and usually did quite a good job at it as he was skilled in art of playing it cool (though matches against the Falcons still always succeeded in making him visibly cringe at least once or twice). The divorce might have shaken that up for a while but he had managed to get a handle on it again in the past two years or at least he liked to think he did.

Quidditch injuries weren't the only thing he worried about more now. It wasn't hard to see that there'd been some tension between Gaius and Corrie lately. He hadn't said anything when he was asked to watch the kids for a night though he'd wondered, of course. But there was still some unease between them on the journals and while Alex wasn't one to meddle or overly worry about things, it was difficult when the subject hit close to home. Gaius and Corrie's relationship had always seemed quite happy with their gushy, lovey dovey ways. But Alex knew all too well that even the relationships built on the most solid foundations cracked and sometimes crumbled.

As the players came down and made their way to the locker rooms, Alex flagged down his sister. "Mind if I take a look at you real quick?" It had been a while since she'd taken that bad hit but there were still things he needed to continue to assess about the site of injury. Truthfully, he didn't need to look at it at that moment but after practice seemed like the best time to catch her alone. It wasn't something he wanted to inquire about over journals, where it was harder to read between the lines and things could be taken the wrong way.

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coruscating
2014-09-11 04:31 am UTC (link)

Practice was the best part of the day.

Yes, even after husband and kids and all the brilliant things that came along with them. Even with eating and sleeping and everything else, all of it fantastic. Nothing compared with the way your body felt after practice -- like you could do anything. Like a machine.

Well, as soon as she had a shower. She wasn't wild about the sweatiness. And she was starving. But apart from that, she felt totally awake and capable and aware, and even her walk was more bouncy and prowly, like a tiger. Like a lion. Go Prides.

Strike that, that was a rubbish description. Bouncy? There was a spring in her step, sure, but more than just a swing. Prowly was good but it sounded all predatory, and it wasn't that. It was just... swingy-armed confidence, right? No, damn, that sounded like a cocky monkey. Or like Chambers, which was about the same thing.

Well, she wasn't good with the words for it, but she knew the feeling well enough. And it was a really bloody good feeling, like every bone and all your blood was awake. All your breath coming smooth and strong. A powerful feeling, totally self-assured.

Still sweaty and starving, though. She really could do without that part.

Corrie glanced over and up at her brother in surprise (damn that one-inch height difference)! Did he think she'd hurt something out there in practice? She couldn't as far as she could tell -- and she was pretty in tune with how her body felt, as a rule, even if she was rubbish at describing it. She'd been brought up to it, and to taking care of herself -- though the taking-care-of was more Dad's influence than Mum's. Well, they both wanted you to get healed up as soon as possible. But Mum was the one who taught them the alternate meanings of "as soon as possible," like "as soon as the game is over so the side's not down another player, just curl in and do it one-handed for a bit."

Carl had grown up with that too, but he'd lost it somewhere along the way. Probably it was the healer training, it had him looking at everyone as a machine he'd eventually have to fix. He seemed a bit worse about it with her, but that could just be her imagination -- and her brain making it weirder because he hadn't been like that before.

"Sure, if it really is quick," she said. "I've got to eat something pretty soon, you know."

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niceguypye
2014-09-12 03:06 am UTC (link)

"Real quick. Promise." He led her back to a room where he did his examinations of the players and other such things since he didn't want risk anyone overhearing. "Any pain or anything since the bone's been mended?" It seemed like an obvious question to ask but as a Healer, he had been surprised at what some people wouldn't think to tell you if you didn't ask. And there was always the people who wanted to be tough and pretend they were fine when they weren't. In the case of players it could be particularly bad since Alex was the one who made the call on if they had to sit out or not. That fact didn't always inspire the most honest answers. He didn't worry about that with Corrie now, of course, since it was clear that she had recovered fine and he was really only looking at it now to have an excuse to talk to her alone.

As he made some brief assessments of her injury site, he went for the small talk first approach. He wasn't entirely sure how Corrie was going to react to his concern. He knew from his own experience that other people noticing tensions easily led to feeling defensive or frustrated so he was trying to ease into the subject cautiously. "So how is everybody? Sophia's birthday isn't too far off now. Are you and Gaius planning any surprises?"

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coruscating
2014-09-12 06:06 am UTC (link)

Oh. It was about that? "Nothing, not even a twinge in wind or bad weather," Corrie said, suppressing a sigh and letting him move her arm however he liked. The faster he saw what he wanted, the faster she'd be out of there. As much as she knew the value of healing and getting checked out properly, routine checkups were so boring. Especially since it'd been two weeks -- no, more than that -- since she broke that bone and he'd fixed it. Long enough that it seemed pointless him asking about it and looking it over again. She wasn't like Donnie Ryan, after all, with so many breaks over the course of his career it was a wonder his bones weren't all powder. Hits were rare for her -- breaks were even rarer.

But there had to be something in it or Carl wouldn't be wasting his time. And maybe the rareness was the reason. Not because it was more effort to put back together a younger, less-previously-injured bone, but because he was worried, because it was her. She thought back to Ryan again, and what he'd said about his husband fretting over him. Was it just a healer thing? Dad had always worried too... but Dad hadn't grown up with it. Maybe you had to grow up with it to have that sense of hits-just-happen that everyone else she was close with had, that even she had despite hits being rare for her and always pissing her off. Maybe that's why Dad worried, and why Tom did. It was just about what was ingrained in you, so Rory, or Gaius, or really nearly all the people she was close with, it just wasn't a big deal to them.

But then again here was Carl, looking at an arm that he'd healed for her more than two weeks ago and that she'd practiced with and even played with since without a problem, and that she'd have entirely forgotten had ever broke if it weren't for her pride and the person who did it. If that wasn't fretting...

At least he had a good enough bedside manner to give her something more amusing to talk about. "She's only turning two, everything about it's going to be a surprise for her," Corrie said with a wry smile, willingly abandoning her previous train of thought. "There are going to be a load of flowers though since that's one thing we know she'll like, and we really want flowers on the cake but aren't decided on whether they'll be realistic or not -- I think real would be nice but he thinks it might get her starting to eat real flowers," she said, shrugging. "Oop -- sorry." Best not to use your arms when the healer was checking them over.

It might be a point about the flowers, she thought, falling quiet again. She just didn't want the garish ugly cartoony looking flowers. Especially since they weren't even tasty or interesting, just flat and full of dye. Just a waste of time, effort and money. Totally pointless.

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niceguypye
2014-09-13 04:10 am UTC (link)

Alex smiled when she said that everything would be a surprise, remembering Max's second birthday. While the party had been a lot more tense than the first one, it had helped somewhat to see his son enjoying himself. He had a brief moment of nostalgia and wondering where the time went realizing that two years had passed since that party somehow. He wouldn't want to go back, though. Not to when the wounds had still been fresh.

He was lingering a bit in looking at her arm, knowing that it probably wasn't that difficult to see that the check-up wasn't all that necessary. It was easy to see she was fine and playing the same as always. It had just been an excuse to get her alone and start a conversation. "I thought maybe that's why you two needed some alone time. Maybe planning something you didn't want Sophia or Em to overhear." Corrie hadn't given much explanation over the reason why she'd wanted him to look after the children but he'd sensed there was some sort of tension. He was trying to coax some information without being too direct since he found that was sometimes the best approach with a sensitive subject, hoping he'd at least get some subtle indication of whether or not he should press further.

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coruscating
2014-09-13 07:27 am UTC (link)

A slight half-intake of breath, a stiffening of the body -- they were little signs of surprise and discomfort that might have been missed by someone across the room who wasn't looking for them, but someone close up and examining her, someone who'd brought the subject up on purpose, someone who was her brother could hardly fail to notice them.

"No," Corrie said a moment too slow to be properly casual, not that she was thinking of being casual. She was too confused for that. Why was he bringing that up now? The night she'd dropped off the kids with Carl... that was even longer ago than when she'd hurt her arm. It was the week before, wasn't it? That first week, the night of Mutagamba's party that she didn't want to go to, and that's what started it all, her not wanting to go and Gaius trying to convince her to, and it spinning off into other, worse, subjects. That was weeks ago. "We weren't planning it that long ago. We just... needed some time in general."

She looked over her shoulder at her brother. He didn't seem to be doing much of anything with her arm. It was the healery equivalent of looking at it, poking it and nodding solemnly. She'd seen repairmen do that with the dishwasher (why they kept getting it fixed instead of just washing dishes by hand or magic Corrie still wasn't sure), and it was the same sort of time-wasting you got from one of those blokes that set up booths at fairs and festivals and wanted you to haggle with them. A sort of thoughtful trying-to-decide-how-much-to-sell-it-to-you-for silence, but not so mercenary.

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niceguypye
2014-09-13 09:42 pm UTC (link)

Alex noticed her tensing, of course, and it was just enough to make him feel it was warranted to push a bit more. The fact that she was a little rattled by him bringing up something that had happened a while ago -- and he hadn't even brought it up in a negative way -- said something. Of course, she may just be surprised but it could be something more and Alex wouldn't feel like a proper brother if he didn't ask. When she looked over at him, he dropped his hands, finally giving up the pretense that her arm was was he was really concerned with.

"Is everything alright, Cor?" He asked the question gently, trying to coax her to lower her guard. He hoped that she would remember that he was her brother and she could confide in him. That he knew a thing or two about martial problems, understood what it was like, and was willing to listen if she needed to talk. He knew she still might blow off the question, insist on maintaining her tough exterior even if there wasn't an issue. And in that case, he wasn't sure there was much he could do at that moment because pushing Corrie usually only served to make her more defensive and angry. It didn't mean he would necessarily let the matter drop entirely in the future but at least she would know that the door was open if she wanted to talk about something.

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coruscating
2014-09-14 06:36 am UTC (link)

He'd ambushed her. That was the thought at the forefront of her mind. He hadn't wanted to check out her arm after all -- and of course he hadn't, there was nothing wrong with it, she'd been stupid to believe him. He'd just wanted to get her in a private place to ask her about her marriage. And there was nothing wrong with her marriage, either.

"It was one night," Corrie said, pulling her sleeve back down (since there was apparently no reason to leave her arm and shoulder exposed after all) and moving away a step. It was just one night and it was weeks ago. What was he reading all this into it for? "I was just being silly, I was overreacting that's all, it's not like -- it wasn't anything serious," she added, giving her brother a wounded look. She hadn't thought when she'd taken the kids to his place that he'd get like this about it. He'd said it was fine, they could sleep over. She thought that was it, especially since he didn't say anything right after.

It wasn't like she and Gaius were falling further apart by the minute or something. It wasn't like they were Carl and Sarah. But maybe it was no wonder he saw perfectly healthy and happy marriages falling to pieces around him, with what he was coming from. He'd gone all anxious and morbid and was seeing things, that's all.

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niceguypye
2014-09-15 04:22 am UTC (link)

Alex wasn't surprised when Corrie went into her typical defensive mode at his question even as he'd tried to address the subject gently. Really, he'd expected it all along. The only thing that had made him uncertain was if his observation of the tension had been accurate. He had become a little hyper aware of other peoples' relationships since his divorce and figured it had been possible he could have just been imagining it. But even as he'd known she would probably react this way, it still stung him a bit that she felt she had to get defensive with him. As if he was trying to attack her when really he just wanted to help. At the same time, he probably understood it better than most having grown up under the same roof. Their mother hadn't encouraged showing any signs of weakness and Corrie had always seemed to take that message to heart. Or maybe she had just inherited the aversion to it. Whatever the case, knowing what that pressure was like made it easier to be patient with her.

He raised an open hand in front him in a reassuring gesture, not unlike one would do when trying to calm a wounded animal. "I never said it was. I was just asking." He didn't think it would be wise to bring up the fact that he'd noticed it a bit in the journals as well more recently. She already felt attacked and that would just make her feel like her back was against the wall even more.

"I just thought you might want to talk about it if it's still bothering you. That's all." There were certainly things that could have been talked about more when his own relationship had taken a rocky turn. But he didn't say so since he wasn't trying to make this about him though she was most likely noticing it too. The comparison was difficult to ignore.

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coruscating
2014-09-15 06:55 am UTC (link)

Corrie got gestures like that a lot. She had for years. And she hated them, because the sense, the similarity wasn't lost on her. And what kind of person was she, to get so many people over the years trying to soothe her like she was a stray dog or a wildcat? It was like being told she was overreacting, but worse. Because when someone told you you were overreacting, when they actually said it in real words, it was a human talking to a human that was capable of responding humanly, even if they chose not to. Even if you shouted I am NOT overreacting, that was a human reaction, just an immature one. When they tried to calm her with body language and gestures, it was like... no matter what they said while doing it, it felt like they thought she couldn't be reasoned with.

It was a forcible reminder to control herself. And Corrie was capable of controlling herself, more capable than many people realized, in fact. The struggle to do so was more a matter of strongly held and complicated feelings about honesty, and personal rights than it was about actual ability, more about fighting the voice that insisted she shouldn't have to, no one should have to, than it spoke to her discipline and maturity. It was about fairness, and in this case, it was about how Carl had never wanted to talk about his marriage when it was going downhill but he was suddenly fine with making assumptions about hers and then tricking her into situations where she had to talk about it.

Standing in place, body tense, arms down (though fists unclenched), she took a silent breath and let it out, and in the process the odd, sort of vibrating quality of her tension dissipated. She was still markedly unhappy -- maybe moreso than before -- but no longer seemed to crouch like a cat in a corner.

"It was just... agent stuff," she muttered. "He wasn't getting that I didn't want to do stuff, trying to convince me. It wasn't husband-related." Except, she hesitated, that it was husband-related, because he was her husband and she couldn't think of him as not her husband even when he was wearing a different hat. You didn't just switch back and forth with clear divides and markers when you were both the same people. It happened too fast, and without any warning.

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niceguypye
2014-09-17 04:04 am UTC (link)

The gesture had been more instinctual than anything, an automatic thing that he'd built up over a lifetime of Corrie's defensive reactions even though it usually didn't work. He lowered it, realizing that it was a lot easier to forget about what really worked when it came to calming people down when he was with someone so familiar than if she was just another player, another patient. He didn't have his Healer's hat on at the moment since his real aim had been to initiate a personal conversation. And The truth was that Alex worried about Corrie in ways that went a little beyond the standard Older Brother obligations. Because even though he was hyper aware of other people's relationship problems now, it didn't mean he always pointed them out. But with Corrie he worried more about her trying to act tough and try to pretend things were going well when they weren't. He knew the feeling himself though he knew he was being hypocritical for expecting her to talk about things when he hadn't himself. He was hardly an expert on how to save a marriage though hindsight made it easier to see where he'd went wrong, what signs he should have addressed.

He simply nodded, accepting her answer. "Alright." It was enough that she didn't look almost poised to strike anymore and was even giving him an answer at all. He had no intention of challenging her claim because that would do no good even if he felt like she was covering something up. But the truth was he could't know since no one really knew was going on in a marriage besides the people in them. All he could really do was be supportive and hope that if she was, she might tell him eventually.

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coruscating
2014-09-21 11:30 pm UTC (link)

No one who said alright like that ever really meant it. It was the same as a nevermind. It wasn't an agreement, or a conclusion, or a solution to the problem. It didn't mean you were right, and it didn't mean you'd really convinced anyone. It just meant they were tired of fighting.

Corrie had heard alright a lot, too. And fine and nevermind and all the other things that meant the same thing, with a sigh and a certain tone of voice. From her dad. From Gaius. And given the subject of the half-spoken, halting conversation, despite the fact that her brother at least didn't have quite the same wearied tone, she couldn't help but think of the last time she'd heard it -- weeks ago, between her first match of the season and the party she'd flatly refused to attend.

Now, like then, she was taken aback -- her head swung back up and over, her eyes widening beyond what even made external sense given his words and the situation, because like always with Corrie, it was never just about the situation she was in. It was about the emotion of the situation, and the memories that it brought up, and the remembered emotions of those situations too, layers slapping on top of each other and melting together and heightening everything.

Now, like then, she felt that sinking in her stomach and the confusing guilty certainty that this wasn’t how reasonable people handled things -- a certainty that wasn’t very helpful at all, since it didn’t tell her what she should do instead.

“Sorry,” she said hesitantly. What was she sorry for? Why was she hesitating? She hadn’t done anything wrong. But if she hadn’t done anything wrong then why did she have that sense of twisty-stomached doubt, or the tightness behind her eyes, and why had he just given in like there was no sense in trying anymore?

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niceguypye
2014-09-25 01:02 am UTC (link)

Alex felt a pang of guilt for bringing it up all to begin with when she gave him that stunned look and then an apology. The latter was more concerning than anything, a clear indication of uneasiness and some confusion coming from someone who usually had her guard up so high. It bothered him that after being her brother for so long and even when he was trying to be gentle, he still hit her nerves so easily. And it probably bothered him now a bit more than it had before his divorce. Any little tension in his personal relationships seemed magnified and while being around Corrie and Gaius had been difficult at first, he seemed to find some comfort in it now, particularly his relationship with his sister. It was difficult to know he was putting any kind of strain on it but at the same time he wouldn't feel right just letting it go either. It was a conversation that had to happen, exhausting as it was for both of them.

"Don't be. I'm your brother. It's just my job to worry." His tone was gentle again, hoping that his sister didn't think he was upset with her. She wasn't easy to deal with when she was lashing out and defensive but he recognized that the conversation had gone as well as he could have expected and he'd still accomplished getting his point across that she could come to him if she wanted to talk. These things always took time with Corrie but it helped that he was a patient kind of guy.

Now that they'd gotten the heavy things out of the way, a change of subject seemed appropriate. Alex dug through one of the drawers where he was always stashing snacks, finding a granola bar and tossing it to her. "Here. Sorry I kept you."

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coruscating
2014-09-29 02:58 am UTC (link)

She caught it, tore it open, shoved it in her mouth. You didn’t screw around with food when you were a Quidditcher, anymore than you screwed around with sleep -- or at least, Corrie had never been one of the ones that did. She didn’t always eat 100% healthy (try being raised by someone whose favourite food is fish and chips and you’ll justify bad habits too) but she never starved herself, especially in the critical post-exercise period.

And it helped with the confusion. The wondering why he was bringing it up at all, wondering why he was bringing it up so late. It didn’t get rid of the confusion or answer her questions anymore than alright solved problems or won arguments, but it did refocus her. Worry about it later, if you worry about it at all -- he’ll see soon enough that there’s nothing to be concerned about (because there wasn’t anything to be concerned about, they were fine and she didn’t even care how defensive that sounded). And since there wasn’t anything marital to worry about, all you had to worry about was taking care of yourself.

Amazing how a bit of food could reground you. By the time she’d swallowed the last of the granola bar, she was back in her body, not in her head, feeling the air in her lungs and the blood in her veins and the muscles up and down her body.

“‘S’fine,” she said, sounding very like their mother, balling up the wrapper and shooting it into a nearby rubbish bin. “Got to go shower though, so unless you need to check anything else?” There was an edge to her voice still, slightly. A warning -- I’m done, I don’t want to talk about it, I’m just giving you the chance to be polite and because I love you. The correct answer is no. Let me go to the locker rooms and no harm will come to you.

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niceguypye
2014-10-01 05:44 am UTC (link)

Seeing her devour the granola bar made Alex's own stomach growl. From the time he was young, he had always had a ravenous appetite that had been fostered by the fact that rigorous Quidditch practices had been a part of his life since before he could even remember. It had waned a bit over the years since his slowed metabolism and lack of exercise meant he had to be more reasonable about how much he consumed everyday. He supposed he did it partially to be a good example as a Healer who sometimes had to give lectures about bad diet habits. He had a hard time giving them wholeheartedly, though, as he felt like the pot calling the kettle black. He reached back in the drawer and dug out another bar, making short work of unwrapping and biting into it himself.

He was glad to see the food calm her down a bit but the edge in her voice wasn't lost on him either. As he had no plans to push her any further, he didn't fear any further wrath from her. Still calm and munching on his granola, he shook his head. "All good. Go shower." While he still hadn't necessarily gotten an answer to his question, he had at least planted a seed for it to be addressed later when she felt ready to talk in her own time, on her terms. And now he had a reason to eat a granola bar so all things considered, Alex considered the conversation a success though he was a little glad it was over now and they could both walk away from the tension.

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