InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Burn baby, burn."

ofmanydevices (ofmanydevices) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2009-12-23 23:32:00

Entry tags:

renju, tom

Who: Tom and Renju
What: Talking
Where: Outside the dorms
When: 4 or 5 days after Renju's dungeon
Why: Because they need to... apparently.

Tom was not looking forward to this. He had to admit he was afraid that the discussion with Renju would be similar to the one they had before his dungeon. At the very least an affirmation of the original feelings. Perhaps confirmation that she still felt things were too awkward to continue any real personal interaction.

Tom couldn't blame her unfortunately. Their discussion hadn't resulted in a good situation for either of them. But Tom was not one to ignore unpleasant situations, and so here he was. Outside in the fresh summer air, wearing a hood and both a hospital face mask, and fabric wrapped around his lower jaw for good measure. He also covered himself in a coat, and gloves. He would feel self conscious if he didn't feel just a little bit like Shadowknight.

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lotus_beyond
2009-12-24 03:05 pm UTC (link)

Despite the fact that she hadn't descended through eight levels of that nightmare (technically she had, but it hadn't been quite as... nightmarish for her), Renju was still clad in a light jacket for the meeting. Recalling how intent her immune system usually was on picking up everything circulating in the area, she'd also decided to wear a face mask. Not that it always worked, but still, it was better than nothing.

Tom was there, which was a relief--but then, he had never been the sort to avoid a confrontation (there was something in the back of her head, though, that reminded her that even he had ended up in Paradise, and that was half-convinced that there was no killer). He was even more conspicuously dressed for the wrong weather than she was, she couldn't help but note. Was it because of his illness, or...?

"Sagaki-senpai." She inclined her head slightly in lieu of a bow; even with everything that had happened, she didn't think there was quite that much distance between them. "I'm sorry to have forced you out of your room for this. I'll try to keep it brief."

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	ofmanydevices 2009-12-24 06:43 pm UTC (link)
	Tom shook his head. "I've been lying around too much. I think I'm well enough to actually be doing something. We have the case meeting about the case soon too. What's on your mind?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lotus_beyond
2009-12-25 10:33 pm UTC (link)

There were quite a few answers that leapt to Renju's mind, few of which were immediately relevant. Since she'd come back from there--well, no, that wasn't true, strictly speaking; since she'd been snapped back to something resembling normality--she'd wanted to make things right (or at least better) with him, but she wasn't entirely certain how to start.

Her fingers fiddled with the sleeve of her jacket. "I... apologize for all of that, senpai." Though she'd been looking down when she started, averting her gaze, she found the courage to look up at him now. "You weren't to blame."

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ofmanydevices
2009-12-26 03:53 pm UTC (link)

Tom blinked, though mostly and his eyes cast downward for a moment. His eyes being the only part of his face visible probably made their movement more obvious.

"I think there are at least a few things that have happened over the past couple of weeks that can be said to be my fault, or at least that I could have prevented, but didn't.

There are... Things that I said... I mean just because I thought..."

Tom let out a breath.

"I am sorryas well Sonozaki-san."

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lotus_beyond
2009-12-27 01:38 pm UTC (link)

Renju had been about to speak up, to protest that no, it really wasn't his fault that she'd gone into that place, but... well, really, it was his fault he had, wasn't it? And then what he--or rather, his Shadow--had said at the party...

Then again, she hadn't been much better, had she? And she didn't have the excuse of it being her Shadow that did it. She couldn't quite suppress a shudder at the thought.

"I believe there were some things that neither of us could've predicted or prevented. If it wasn't... that, something else would've set it off eventually. But..." Finally, she gave another sharp nod to show that she accepted the apology.

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ofmanydevices
2009-12-28 07:05 am UTC (link)

Tom nodded, and looked at the small woman. His tone was probably more formal then she had ever heard before.

"I'm... glad we could talk then. I hope this will mean we can still work together in Paradise."

His fingers flexed, and he shoved his gloved hands into his pockets.

"... If you don't need anything else Sonozaki-san, I should let you go."

If Tom intended to imply anything with that sentance, he didn't show it.

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lotus_beyond
2009-12-28 01:01 pm UTC (link)

Renju knew that tone far too well--she'd used it herself too many times not to. So that was how it was going to be: no forgiveness, just an apology that he might or might not mean. Maybe he hated her because of what happened in Paradise, or because of what her Shadow had done. If that was the case, then, well, she'd deal with it. There were worse interpersonal relationships among the team, after all. She turned to leave, folding her arms and suddenly feeling chilly.

But she remembered what had happened in there. She remembered what he'd said to her Shadow, and... she thought she remembered a voice that wasn't, something swallowed by that void it had placed her into.

"... listen." Her cheeks were tinged with red, but she didn't turn back towards him so that he could see them. "Like you said then... We can't just let this linger between us."

She took a short breath, exhaled in a sigh that she half-expected to be visible. "I would..." She paused, swallowed hard, continued in a voice that faltered slightly. "I would like to continue our training, if you're willing."

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	ofmanydevices 2009-12-28 10:19 pm UTC (link)
	Tom's eyes went wide. His posture changed to someone obviously shocked. "You... Ren..." Tom took a breath, which lead to a cough. Finally he seemed to recover, and straightened up. He looked at her finally. "Sonozaki-san. Are you sure?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lotus_beyond 2009-12-28 10:48 pm UTC (link)
	"I'm sure." She wasn't, not entirely, but she certainly wasn't going to back down from it now. "Hiding from it won't help either of us. I'm... starting to understand that now, I think." She turned back to face him; the mask over her mouth made her expression difficult to read. "I'm hoping this will help us both work through it." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ofmanydevices
2009-12-28 11:08 pm UTC (link)

Tom nodded slowly.

"I'm still trying to get a handle on... umm... feelings. I'm guessing it would be too much to hope for to suggest that any of my feelings could be dismantled. Even in the same amount of time as they took to develop.

But... well I can't say. But I am willing to try. At the very least, I'm glad that... I didn't lose you... er... yeah."

He reached up and slipped his fingers under his hood for a moment.

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lotus_beyond
2009-12-29 10:12 pm UTC (link)

"I guess these things take time. I wouldn't know from experience." Renju could still be blunt sometimes; tact was in her vocabulary, but not a frequently-used part of it. It wasn't quite clear whether it was intentional this time, though.

She started fiddling with her sleeve again, this time tugging at the cuff. The last time she'd looked quite that uncomfortable was a moment neither of them was likely particularly willing to recall. "I'm... glad everything worked out for the best, too."

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	ofmanydevices 2009-12-31 09:44 pm UTC (link)
	Tom nodded. "I agree. I guess there are some merits to ending up in Paradise." Tom also seemed to shift uncomfortably, and then finally locked eyes with her. "Sonozaki-san... did you willingly go in?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lotus_beyond 2010-01-09 05:47 am UTC (link)
	The locked gazes didn't last long. Renju couldn't meet his gaze for long--nor anyone's, it seemed, when this was the topic. Still, she had no reason to lie about it; she hadn't had one with Masami, nor did she have one now. "Yes." Her voice was quiet, but steady. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ofmanydevices
2010-01-09 05:11 pm UTC (link)

Tom nodded and reachedup to scratch his chin.

"Hmmm that is interesting. I won't ask you why. I'm sure everyone else has, or will. But I won't force you to go back to that mindset just to satisfy my curiosity. You were in a bad place, and I hope you're better now."

Tom shifted uncomfortablly then nodded.

" I... I would just ask... Please don't scare me like that again."

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lotus_beyond
2010-01-10 05:23 am UTC (link)

That brought Renju up short. Before the confession, Tom threw her off-balance because his methods were strange and he'd seemed almost inhumanly logical when it came to the world and social relationships--he either didn't realize or didn't care about things that others took for granted. Now he threw her off-balance because he actually seemed to genuinely care about her. Not in the Keiichi we-are-all-nakama way, but her specifically.

She couldn't win, it seemed.

"There's... nothing more to worry about," she answered hesitantly, not quite sure what to say. "I don't intend to go back. Not that way."

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	ofmanydevices 2010-01-11 05:31 am UTC (link)
	Tom nodded. "I didn't think you were. I guess I... I just felt like I needed to say it. I wonder if the others felt this way when I went to rescue Ito... or you." Tom didn't finish the thought as another coughing fit took him. "Maybe I still need to get some rest." (Reply to this) (Parent)