InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "You love him, don't you?"

Kanaye Satou (zealousemperor) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2009-12-21 23:00:00

Entry tags:

kanaye, maeko

WHO: Kanaye, Maeko
WHAT: Confessions
WHERE: Skypark
WHEN: After Renju dungeon
WHY: Because Kanaye is guilty.

Kanaye was hyperventilating. He has been a horrible boyfriend. The thought was lurking in his mind for a while, especially after Tom's dungeon and the letters, but now... He walked out on her. Kanaye ran away from danger. He expected...no, he HOPED Maeko would follow him, but she wasn't there. And when she wasn't there, what did he do? He ran away, like a scared schoolgirl.

Not only that but he had threatened to kill Misaki, of all people. Sure, he still thought she deserved it, but...It was a stupid idea. And he couldn't keep it quiet. The guilt was enormous. So he sent a text message to Maeko, really, really quickly, in case he couldn't change his mind.

Meet my at Skypark. I need to apologize.

Even now, as he was sitting at a bench, he wondered if it would be worse if he just left...

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	giantfruitbyday 2009-12-22 10:11 pm UTC (link)
	It took Maeko longer than it really should have to find her voice again after leaving the butterfly room. It was probaby some sort of misunderstanding and not at all worth thinking about. "It's fine." She said eventually, after a few failed attempts that dissolved into mumbling and stupid tearless sobs. "...I'm just glad you weren't stuck back there." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

zealousemperor
2009-12-22 10:14 pm UTC (link)

...She really WAS making this really hard on him, wasn't she? He continued to hug her closely, but kept thinking. Could he really do this? Was this really a good time? If he told her right now, it would probably completely wreck her...and him. But if Kanaye didn't tell her, and she found out later...

"...Maeko." He said softly, pushing her away a bit. "I-I...need to tell you something..."

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	giantfruitbyday 2009-12-22 10:22 pm UTC (link)
	It was nice. Even if she wasn't sure how she felt about Kanaye, it was unfamiliar and pleasant to be allowed to be weak without worrying about being told she was stupid or unreliable. That was interrupted. She moved back and nodded. "Of course. ...what is it?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

zealousemperor
2009-12-22 10:27 pm UTC (link)

Kanaye gulped and started. "Well, I..." He paused. "I..." He sighed. "I sent those letters to Misaki-san. I know it's a stupid thing to do. You have all the right to be mad at me. I was mad and didn't mean it. I wouldn't even actually attempt to kill Misaki, or actually tell her to kill herself. I never knew how much it would affect you. It was a stupid thing to do and I'm asking for forgiveness right now."

He got off the bench and bowed to Maeko. "Please, forgive me. If you never want to speak to me again I cannot blame you. This does not mean I will stop protecting you and if you still want to be with me that is fine with me."

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giantfruitbyday
2009-12-22 10:43 pm UTC (link)

About a thousand diferent reactions tried to be expressed at once. And the familiar fury that Maeko took comfort in and found safe was nowhere. The harder she struggled to summon it, the more its absence ate at her.

She sat dumbstruck for a while, openning her mouth every few seconds but failing to form sounds. Even if she managed they would just be sounds and nothing more.

And so, in the absence of actual rage, she decided to find the next best thing to hide behind. Hurting people. Deliberately and as much as possible and finding solace in being the one in the wrong. Because that meant being the one in control.

"I hate you." She said finally, voice trembling as much as she was herself. There was no anger in her voice, she was speaking with the same tone she might use to discuss the weather, but her fists were clenched so hard they shook. "And I never want to see your face again. I hope you die. I lied, I'm leaving."

And she pushed past him quietly, moving toward the steps.

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	zealousemperor 2009-12-22 10:47 pm UTC (link)
	Kanaye stayed on the floor for a while. He managed to keep a straight face as he stood up and walked back to the dorms. His movements were slow and imprecise, he didn't look at anyone, and he made sure not to make any noise. Silently, Kanaye walked to his dorm, entered it, and cried himself to sleep. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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