InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "take that and rewind it back"

ofmanydevices (ofmanydevices) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2009-11-09 22:00:00

Entry tags:

maeko, tom

Who: Tom and Maeko
What: Discussion of many things
Where: Anti-bullying room.
When: After school
Why: Tom and Maeko have unresolved things

Tom stood in the Anti-Bullying Room. He was sitting at a desk, lost in thought, a few open books sat in front of him, but he didn't really seem focused on reading.

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giantfruitbyday
2009-11-10 03:21 am UTC (link)

Maeko had actual AB-club business to attend to, collecting the complaints recieved about specific students and taking them to Hamasaki. It wasn't as if the incredible stack of 'Reizo is a jerk' was going to change anything. The more she thought about it, the closer she came to the conclusion that this whole thing was a massive waste of time.

She was surprised to see Tom there. They weren't even using this room anymore, were they?

"Sagaki-senpai." Maeko said as greeting, in a voice she normally might reserve for expressing disapproval towards things that animals coughed up.

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	ofmanydevices 2009-11-10 03:33 am UTC (link)
	Tom looked at Maeko with a hunt of surprise. But it didn't take him long to realize that it made perfect sense for her to be in the room. "Oh... Akuba." He stood up flipping his books closed. "I was just going over my notes on... shadows, paradise, and all that. I can get out of your way if you need the room." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2009-11-10 03:46 am UTC (link)
	Maeko spook her head, moving toward a cupboard at one side of the room and retrieving a large folder, moving it onto one of the desks while she closed the cupboard door again. "I'm not using the room. I was just here to collect this." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofmanydevices 2009-11-10 03:48 am UTC (link)
	Tom nodded. "Right...I..." He frowned for a moment, and looked at Maeko. "Well then... go ahead." After a moment he put his hands in his pockets, and looked around a gain. He rolled his shoulders uncomfrotably, and let out a breath. "I was just thinking... about how things used to be. We don't use the room anymore." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2009-11-10 03:56 am UTC (link)
	Maeko managed not to say 'good. It's my room anyway.' only because recently she had been feeling a lot less attached to the club. "The other room's a lot more suitable for our purposes, I think." She said instead, nodding. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofmanydevices 2009-11-10 04:07 am UTC (link)
	Tom nodded. He turned toward Maeko. "Still...I... it was a good idea. The club I mean. I'm actually pretty impressed by your methods most of the time. Even if I disagree with them." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2009-11-10 04:33 am UTC (link)
	"Honestly? This club is pretty useless except for what we're using it for. All this time and all we have to say for it is a whole lot of slips of paper saying that Shirai's a jerk." Maeko had no idea why she was discussing this with Tom of all people. Possibly because Tom was one of few people who'd shown any interest at all in the club. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ofmanydevices
2009-11-10 05:18 am UTC (link)

"I haven't seen him really do anything, so I haven't stepped in. There are bigger issues then Shirai."

His shoulders slumped.

"If I was asked though, I would try to handle him."

He shrugged.

"The important thing is you tried to see that people are helped. That justice is served. And besides, if Shirai is the only real complaint you've got, I'd say that it's a pretty big success."

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giantfruitbyday
2009-11-13 02:12 am UTC (link)

"He's the only real complaint we get that's relevant to the system and there's nothing we can do about him." Maeko sighed, irritated. She chose to ignore Tom's...offer? Overly heavy-handed hint? Whatever it was, she didn't particularly want to spark more infighting between the group. "Most of the other people they'll complain about are from outside the school. The school won't do anything about that."

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ofmanydevices
2009-11-13 04:42 pm UTC (link)

Tom shifted. He frowned slightly, and let out a breath. Like it was almost painful for him to think about whatever thoughts he was having.

"Maybe... ummm... Maybe giving them someone to talk to? I suppose? Like... of coures there's bullying, but..."

Tom reached up and scratched his head.

"Like... Paradise right? The team saves someone from Paradise, just removing them from the bad situation isn't going to fix things. They always end up needing to confront their shadow themselves right?"

Tom shrugged.

"I guess... it's not always a boss battle, or a fist fight, Maybe... maybe sometimes people just need the support to stand up and deal with their problems."

Tom spoke these words almost as if he was thinking about them for the first time. Tom shook his head.

"Maybe it's a stupid idea. I don't know. I don't know what to think anymore."

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giantfruitbyday
2009-11-13 07:04 pm UTC (link)

Maeko listenned, trying to work out if she found that to be a good or awful comparison. On the one hand, that did seem like a potentially legitimate way to think about paradise, if incredibly idealistic considering the place likely killed people. On the other hand had anything really changed after facing shadows? Kou was just as grumpy, if more vocal about it. Toru and Kiriko she didn't really know well enough to see any change. Maeko herself had just made everything much, much worse and Misaki was still acting without any thought for the problems it would cause for herself and others.

"I suppose ideally there would be a better way of solving problems than going over there." She said, sighing. "And if this is it and it means that people who otherwise might don't end up over there it's worth continuing, at least. It's frustrating, though. People have problems that I can't do anything to help with. It's almost easier to drag them out from over there."

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ofmanydevices
2009-11-15 11:17 pm UTC (link)

Tom nodded.

"Honestly, I'm starting to wonder if just pulling people out of Paradise is enough. Maybe they need even more of a connection or something?
I thought I knew how people interacted but the Team... really don't fit that. So it makes me wonder, if isolation isn't the answer, maybe... is actually, you know... getting to know people the right answer?"

Tom frowned. He thought for a moment, and then carefully started edging toward the topic that was of actual interest to him.

"I guess that's why I figure the team is kind of doomed. I mean just pulling ignoring the things about other people you don't like isn't going to make them go away.
Like for example, Satou. If people actually stopped and said "This is why what you do bothers me." and gave him a chance to say "This is why I do what I do." At least they'd understand each other, rather thatn being silent on the matter and letting their preconceptions speak for themselves."

Tom looked at Maeko blankly.

"This all sounds stupid doesn't it?"

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giantfruitbyday
2009-11-16 03:11 pm UTC (link)

Maeko managed to take that as a personal insult for reasons he didn't quite understand herself. Was it because he's used Kanaye as an example? It was probably because he's used Kanaye as an example and not at all because he'd, even for a few seconds, made her doubt her own thought processes. With western thinking. Stupid and weak. Expecting others to change around you.

"Yes." She said coolly, nodding. "Expecting people to change thier behaviour without giving them a reason to is stupid. You have to be stronger than them or outsmart them or be loyal to them or have something to offer. Otherwise nothing will change and you've just told them an easy way to cause you discomfort and given them something they could potentially use against you."

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	ofmanydevices 2009-11-17 01:02 am UTC (link)
	Tom looked... confused. All these things that he'd been reconsidering, Maeko seemed to think was wrong about. "So then... Everything I always thought was true? That it's pointless to interact with people? Hmmmm..." He put a hand to his chin. "But then... why date Satou? You're far too clever for him to have outsmarted you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

giantfruitbyday
2009-11-17 08:15 pm UTC (link)

"Of course interraction isn't pointless." She responded almost instinctively and partly just to be contrary and had to pause to thing before elaborating. "Interraction is the means used by the strong to control the weak and the means used by the weak to beg for protection from the stong."

Maeko froze, somewhere between being flustered and annoyed about everyone's apparent caring about that more than she did. She almost wanted to say she was only dating him because he was pretty or stronger than her even though it wasn't true, just because it prove her point.

"He's saved my life over there more times than I can count. I owe him." She settled with, her tone becoming irritated.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofmanydevices 2009-11-18 02:43 am UTC (link)
	"Huh... " Tom said, contemplating Maeko's words further. "...So then... if I save her life... then she'll like me? That does seem pretty in keeping with the way things are portrayed on TV." Tom nodded. "I think I understand now." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

giantfruitbyday
2009-11-18 04:38 pm UTC (link)

Okay, so that was a surprise. Maeko had always assumed Tom was a robot of some sort or at the very least that he considered himself above any non-essential interaction. The idea of him trying to win someone over was completely alien to her and she struggled for a few seconds to keep herself from laughing. After those few seconds, she promply returned to the concescending, mildly disgusted tone that she tended to use when adressing or discussing Tom.

"Owe. Not like." She corrected as if she was now some sort of expert. "Liking happens after."

Liking people, Maeko had decided after through examinations of her own relationships and those of the people around her (and partially from being in the same room as Misa and her dramas a lot more recently), was a defense mechanism people developed when circumstances forced them to be around someone a lot. She didn't mention this.

"It's not like it's as complicated as it seems." She said, again speaking as if she was an expert.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofmanydevices 2009-11-18 05:05 pm UTC (link)
	Tom frowned, he was trying to work it all out in his mind, reconciling what Maeko was telling him, with what he had read in the relationship books he had read through awhile back. He wondered if he should try those books again. "So then if "like" happens after... what causes it?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2009-11-18 05:29 pm UTC (link)
	Maeko shrugged. "You decide you should like someone and so you do it." She said simply. She was a great believer in being able to do things because you should be able to do them. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofmanydevices 2009-11-19 03:29 am UTC (link)
	Tom scratched his head. "That doesn't seem to fit with what I have read in the past. And if you could simply decide to like someone... couldn't you then decide not to like someone? And that hasn't seemed to work." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2009-11-19 04:47 pm UTC (link)
	Maeko shrugged. "If it's not working then you're clearly just not trying hard enough." 'Try harder' was her answer to most problems. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofmanydevices 2009-11-20 12:24 am UTC (link)
	Tom raised an eyebrow at Maeko. He dropped his arms to his side, and then crossed them behind his back. "There are many things in the world I can be accused of. This is the first time I have ever been accused of simply... not trying hard enough. Usually when one runs into a wall like this, it might be best to consider a new strategy." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2009-11-20 12:44 am UTC (link)
	"Congratulations on not trying hard enough for the first time, then." Maeko said, almost genuinely and without any of the sarcastic tone that saying something like that really should have involved. "It shouldn't be difficult enough to be worth quitting not to like someone." She said, shrugging again. "Just stop liking them." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofmanydevices 2009-11-20 12:50 am UTC (link)
	"Well I..." Tom paused he felt like there was a weight in his chest sinking further down into his abdomen. He could feel his heart beating loudly, and he sucked in a breath. "I... don't think I really want to." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2009-11-20 12:56 am UTC (link)
	Maeko thought about this. Then thought about it harder, pulling a face that implied exaggerated mock-thought. "Huh. I guess that would explain why you weren't trying hard enough." Sae said, confirming the obvious for herself. "So just don't." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofmanydevices 2009-11-20 01:22 am UTC (link)
	"So... I won't." It was an odd sensation to realize his feelings. While his discussion with Toru ha really struck him, he had begun to fully realize how far in he was. He almost turned to leave the room, but then another question struck him, and Maeko seemed to be an expert. Or sounded like one. "So then... what do I do now?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

giantfruitbyday
2009-11-20 02:25 am UTC (link)

Maeko gave that some thought, trying to work out (not for the first time) why on earth Kanaye was dating her anyway. Even she knew that 'cheer them on for the better part of a year without being noticed, give up, sort of almost date someone else (or at least arrange to) and then stop dating them within an hour because that invitation was meant for your friend, start fighting monsters together in another world, decide you hate them because they finally noticed your best friend first, threaten to kill them more than once, be replaced by an evil twin, start dating them' was not the best plan of action. She still wasn't quite sure what had happenned there.

"...Senpai just confessed and then we were dating. So I guess that's what you do." She settled on, deciding to focus on what Kanaye had done rather than what she had.

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	ofmanydevices 2009-11-20 04:39 am UTC (link)
	Tom took a deep breath, and felt a weight on his chest as though he were about to face a firing squad. "So I just... tell her how I feel. Won't she... hate mee for that or something?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2009-11-20 04:49 am UTC (link)
	"Doesn't that seem like an irrationnal thing to hate someone for?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ofmanydevices
2009-11-20 05:33 am UTC (link)

Tom let out a frustrated gasp, obviously not direct at Maeko, just a gasp in general.

"Nothing about this whole... feelings and dating thing follows rational patterns. It's like... I tried to read about it, but the thigns people say contradict it. There's no observable patterns, no research you can do before hand.
God it's like you just need to dive in and hope for the best."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2009-11-20 05:47 am UTC (link)
	"If that's what you feel you need to do then do that." Maeko said simply. "Challenging it won't help too much." (Reply to this) (Parent)