InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "You make me itch."

Yamada Kai [山田海] (the_nadeshiko) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2010-11-02 20:11:00

Entry tags:

kai, renju

WHO: Kai, Renju
WHAT: He gon' get beat up.
WHERE: Butterfly Room.
WHEN: Few days after his dungeon, I guess.
WHY: Renju needs to yell at him.

Having given it some time, Kai was surprised how easy it was to get back into a routine now that he was out of Paradise. He went to school and generally felt a little bit lighter now that he knew he had people who would help him out.

It didn't make waiting for Renju any easier, though. He owed her an apology for his Shadow, maybe, but she had seemed fairly serious when she contacted him. So he waited, fidgeting, for her to arrive. Bringing his sewing kit seemed a bit innapropriate.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

lotus_beyond
2010-11-03 01:08 am UTC (link)

This time, though it was too late to prevent from from going into Paradise (something that, after Masami and now this, Renju was coming to believe with not a little dismay and resignation was impossible), Renju wasn't going to let their planned talk slip by as she had last time. A few days were necessary for recovery, of course, but once Kai had felt well enough, she'd arranged a specific time for the meeting.

He was earlier than her, again; at least this time she could be assured that it wasn't his Shadow. She'd returned his bag to him previously, but this time she carried her own, still glad to have the weight of her kama in it after losing them in that place.

"Thank you for coming, Yamada-san." Too formal. Still, it was a little bit of comfort to have something to metaphorically lean on.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	the_nadeshiko 2010-11-03 10:25 pm UTC (link)
	"Oh, hi." He nodded at her. He worried that the formality meant nothing good, but then again, it was Sonozaki-san. The silence was potent, and he for a moment he wanted to say something, anything, but he held his tongue. Mindless prattle would probably just irritate her. "Sit down?" He moved over on the couch so she had room if she wanted to. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lotus_beyond
2010-11-04 01:06 am UTC (link)

Renju took the proffered seat and set her bag down at her feet. Now that she thought about it, this was the same spot where... but now wasn't the time to think about that. She had more important (and, in their own way, more stressful) things to concern herself with right now.

She was also, incongruously, regretting not bringing a bowl of her (now-apparently-traditional?) soup along with her.

"You seem to be doing well." She was trying to get marginally better at this whole "small talk" business. It was slow going, though, and still rather awkward, something visible in the stiff way she held herself.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

the_nadeshiko
2010-11-05 12:27 am UTC (link)

"Um, I think I am." Kai glanced at her sidelong, wishing she'd get to the point. She must have called him here for a reason, after all, and the sooner he had this talk, the sooner he could go back to trying to get things marginally together.

His hands fidgeted in his lap. Suddenly he wished he thought to bring his sewing kit. At least a cross-stitch gave him an excuse not to look at someone else. "You wanted to talk to me about something?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lotus_beyond
2010-11-05 02:04 am UTC (link)

Even she could tell that he looked even more ill at ease than she did. Might as well get straight to the point, then.

"I wanted to address what your Shadow said." She could feel the annoyance flickering inside her again at the mere memory of it, but she shoved it down. That wouldn't be constructive. "I'm glad that you'll be rejoining us, but harboring those doubts without dealing with them will just lead to more problems."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

the_nadeshiko
2010-11-07 04:25 pm UTC (link)

Kai frowned. Craaaaaap. He knew this would be coming, but it didn't mean he wanted to deal with it.

He leaned back, putting his arms behind his head. "I did deal with it. I reconciled with my Shadow." Didn't that mean it was over? It should be. "And there's nothing I can do except go back and face that fear in Paradise, I guess. Whatever will happen will happen." Behind him, his right hand gripped his left writs tightly.

He knew that Renju must also mean the other stuff his Shadow had said - 'Entire team is crazy and I don't trust them' stuff, but he didn't want to talk about it. He could only have one Big Talk at a time.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lotus_beyond
2011-03-07 01:50 am UTC (link)

"Understanding it isn't the same as changing it, but you are right in that that can only be dealt with by continuing to enter Paradise." Renju folded her legs neatly and tapped her foot against the floor, her stiffness showing no sign of easing. "But if you don't trust the rest of us to work with each other and you," she went on, "then nothing of significance will change and we'll all be in greater danger besides."

For a fleeting moment, she looked vaguely sympathetic--but only a moment. "I apologize for forcing you to deal with this so soon, but under the circumstances, we can't afford to delay it any longer than necessary."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

the_nadeshiko
2011-03-07 11:09 am UTC (link)

Lecture Mode. Fantastic.

"I...knew you would say that," he said quietly. "I can't exactly do it all at once." It sounded lame to his own ears; he knew he was making an excuse for not trying in the first place, but...

"I know it's my fault, I know. And I'm going to try more, okay? I won't lie to them or myself anymore."

Behind him, his right hand was squeezing his other wrist for dear life.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lotus_beyond
2011-03-10 12:32 am UTC (link)

The sympathy lasts a little longer this time. "It's difficult. I know. Nearly all of us have experienced it." Nearly all indeed--they were starting to come down to the last few, now that she thought about it. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing--certainly it meant something would change.

But that was off the immediate subject, that being Kai, which she didn't want him to get an opportunity to change, at least just yet. "I just want to be sure that you don't lose sight of it. It's easy to do." She hesitated slightly. "I speak from experience."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

the_nadeshiko
2011-03-13 02:11 am UTC (link)

"Yeah..." Other people weren't him though, he thought petulantly. Still, both she and Tom had said something that had resonated with him ever since getting out: He wasn't the only one feeling like this. He wasn't alone.

"I...yeah?" He looked at Renju and realized how little he really knew her. Quiet, serious, a little kind maybe, but what else? "I think it'll be harder to give up now that I know who I can rely on, y'know? I don't want to let people down, and knowing that they care about me...it helps."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lotus_beyond
2011-03-13 02:24 am UTC (link)

"I'm glad to hear that." Renju nodded decisively. As long as he wasn't just saying it to make her feel better, it was a step in the right direction--and she was slowly learning to read people a little better, so she could hear enough emotion in his voice to tell. At least, she thought so. She wasn't exactly infallible.

"We may not necessarily like each other," she noted, not without a little dismay, "but it is true that we care." A pause. "... most of us."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

the_nadeshiko
2011-03-13 02:29 am UTC (link)

"Yes, I saw that in my place. No matter what the other me did, you wouldn't leave." He smiled. "It means so much to me."

And the team did too now, didn't they? Maybe they hadn't been the motley collection of apathetic people he'd thought they were. Maybe they could be friends if only he'd let them.

"Hey, I owe you for roughing you up in particular, don't I? Would you like, I don't know, an ice cream or bubble tea or something? Or maybe a scarf, I don't know, I haven't been able to sew in forever."

If he was going to try and get closer to get people, he'd best start with the first one to offer him a hand.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lotus_beyond
2011-03-13 02:37 am UTC (link)

Renju shook her head decisively. "You don't owe me anything. No one deserves to die in that place." She couldn't quite shake the nagging feeling that there was more to it than that, more than simply duty--indeed, the same sort of impulse as whatever had brought her here. She remembered lecturing Maeko all those months ago, and how strange it had felt; this was becoming almost natural, she finally realized, and had no idea quite when it had happened.

At any rate... She looked thoughtful for a moment. Though he didn't owe her anything, he seemed kind enough, and perhaps it was time for her to start reaching out on her own, instead of allowing people to come to her. "But I would like to get lunch, if you'd care to join me."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

the_nadeshiko
2011-03-13 02:42 am UTC (link)

"T-Thank you... I know, but I feel bad since he tossed you into pottery and all!"

"Excellent~! I would love to."

Kai stood up, body much more relaxed now that the conversation had segued into something less revealing. "Where do you wanna go?"

As they made their way to their destination, Kai tried to make conversation. "After you went in, did you crash? I crashed. I slept forever, but I still couldn't eat. I'm hungry now though!" His halted, slightly nervous chatter was at least genuine, if inane.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -