InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Five is right out!"

Sakuraba Masami 桜庭雅美 (sakurabamasami) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2010-10-27 17:28:00

Entry tags:

masami, renju

[BACKDATED LIKE WHOA]
Who: Masami, Renju
What: Postdungeon visit
Where: Masami's room
When: Sometime shortly after Masami's dungeon
Why: Why not

Masami had never realized just how exhausting being in Paradise really was until she'd spent the better part of two weeks in there. She'd slept away most of the past couple days since the team had gotten her out of Paradise, and still she felt completely drained. It didn't help that she'd also caught a bit of a cold, of course.

She'd just poured herself a cup of hot tea to hopefully help drive away her illness when there was a knock on the door. Slowly, she picked herself up to go and open it...

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lotus_beyond
2010-10-28 12:17 am UTC (link)

It had been quite some time since Renju had last done this. Seiko she hadn't felt close enough to, nor Toshimi, and Reizo... the less said about that the better.

But she considered Masami, if not a friend, then certainly at least a friendly acquaintance, and so she was at the door with a generously-sized bowl of soup, the spiciness of which seemed to leak into its scent through the lid that covered it, and a slightly softer expression than usual, almost sympathetic. "Are you doing well, Sakuraba-san?"

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	sakurabamasami 2010-10-29 05:47 am UTC (link)
	Masami wasn't really surprised to see Renju, but she didn't expect the bowl of soup. "Oh, I'm doing... OK I suppose... about as good as you can expect after having been on the other side for almost two weeks," she answered as she opened the door wider to allow Renju in. Silence followed as Masami wasn't quite certain what else to say. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lotus_beyond
2010-11-01 03:35 am UTC (link)

"I'm well aware of that feeling."

Renju closed the door behind her with her foot and set the steaming bowl of soup down on the nearest flat, stable surface. It all took just a few seconds--not enough for her to gather her thoughts and figure out what to say, leaving another short silence.

"And mentally?" Masami, like Toshimi, she was concerned might backslide, or do what she had and not fully accept the lessons of Paradise.

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sakurabamasami
2010-11-01 03:54 am UTC (link)

"I... well, I've had a lot to think about," Masami began, looking down at the floor. "It's tough after facing your shadow, right? Having to come to terms with... with yourself. Sometimes it feels like it'd be easier to just try and pretend it all didn't happen, but... I guess that'd just be going back to what I was doing before, and after all that, I really don't think I want to do that..."

Masami trailed off, then realized she'd been rambling on. "Umm... sorry, I just kept going on..."

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lotus_beyond
2010-11-02 12:30 am UTC (link)

"Don't apologize. I asked, after all."

Renju stood back against the wall, not quite at ease enough to seat herself. It seemed like Masami was coming to the right conclusions faster than she herself had, at least, which was an encouraging sign. Of course, understanding what one had to do was worlds away from actually doing it, as she also knew from experience.

"Pretending it didn't happen is the worst thing you can do, I think. If we don't learn from it, we'll end up in the same place again, and everyone's efforts will have gone to waste." She thought of the reappearance of her Shadow and shivered despite herself.

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sakurabamasami
2010-11-02 04:43 am UTC (link)

"I... think I know what you mean. The shadow, she... I... really just wanted me to realize what I was doing to myself, I think. And I put everyone through so much pain because I couldn't follow my own advice and get over myself. I don't want to make everyone go through something like that again..."

Masami sighed, and she had to stop herself from sipping her tea just to hide her depressed, pensive expression.

"Oh, go ahead and sit down, if you want," Masami urged Renju upon noticing that she was still standing. "...If you want, I can make you some tea."

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lotus_beyond
2010-11-03 12:53 am UTC (link)

"No, thank you." But Renju was fine with taking a seat, finding a chair to settle into. The gesture meant that she'd be staying for more than just a brief chat, most likely; she couldn't decide whether this was a good thing or not.

"Everyone on the team has dealt with the same situation." She folded her hands neatly in her lap. "They understand. As long as you take it to heart."

She paused a moment before speaking again, sounding more than a little awkward. "If you need someone to discuss it with, you know how to contact me."

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sakurabamasami
2010-11-04 11:31 pm UTC (link)

Masami nodded. "Umm... thanks," she said, "And sorry. If I'd taken you up on the offer before, maybe this wouldn't have had to happen."

Again her first instinct was to reach for her tea, but she held it back. She couldn't keep relying on it as just a way to hide.

"You're OK, right? From... from the fight..." Though Masami had been too weak to do anything, she'd seen how viciously her shadow had attacked everyone. She was, truthfully, a bit terrified that that sort of violent streak existed in her. Sure, the team could always use healing magic for injuries from Paradise, but if the shadow had managed to do more damage than it did... she shuddered to think of it.

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lotus_beyond
2011-03-10 12:16 am UTC (link)

"There wasn't any lasting damage." Not to say it hadn't hurt like hell at the time, but she'd 'died' a few times before. It wasn't exactly something one got used to (unless, perhaps, one was Tom), but it had lost some of its terror for her.

"And I understand, or at least I believe I'm starting to." She sighed and leaned her head back, looking pensively up at the ceiling. "I wonder if this is something we all simply have to go through. There may be a block that can't be forced through till then." A sigh. "I doubt I'd have listened to anyone before entering my place."

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	sakurabamasami 2011-03-10 01:34 am UTC (link)
	"...I think you're probably right. Well, at least I kind of think that if not for all that, nothing would have changed for me. But now I feel like a big weight's been taken off my shoulders," Masami finally said at length. She coughed a few times. "I do wish it didn't come with the tiredness and sickness though," she added. (Reply to this) (Parent)