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Sonozaki Renju [園崎蓮珠] ([info]lotus_beyond) wrote in [info]disappear_rpg,
@ 2010-10-27 17:02:00

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Entry tags:renju, tom

WHO: Renju, Tom.
WHAT: Coincidence.
WHEN: Before the festival, after school (so backdated a bit).
WHERE: Inside Nanakamado.
WHY: This thread is long overdue, and the original reasons for it are probably invalid, but damned if I'm not doing it anyway.

Being in the same room as certain people in her class when unsupervised by a teacher (or without the stabilizing influence of Paradise) was remarkably exhausting, Renju was coming to realize. She had barely done anything in that "planning" session, but it was almost as tiring as a dungeon run. She still had only the vaguest idea of what her role was going to be in all this; there was some mention of pandas that, for the sake of her sanity, she refused to put any stock in.

At least she wasn't going to be doing anything in that ridiculous haunted house. Yet.

It was fairly late by the time she'd managed to get out of there, and with all the work she had to do and the minimal time she had to do it, she figured she might as well skip dinner and spend some quality time with the library. It had been a while, after all, and even with all her attempts to mix things up since everything had happened, she couldn't say she didn't miss it.


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[info]ofmanydevices
2010-10-28 04:20 am UTC (link)
Tom himself was in the library, engaged in a bit of research. With all the time he'd spent in there before the whole Paradise thing happened, the Librarian didn't find it unexpected that he was there now, even if he had yet to start attending class again.

He saw Renju enter, and decided not to hide his presence, instead getting up, grabbing his stack of books and walking further into the stacks, back in the quieter areas, where only the nerdiest ventured, and teachers were unlikely to stumble upon you.

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[info]lotus_beyond
2010-10-28 11:34 am UTC (link)
Renju hadn't been particularly paying attention to the students clustered around the tables, but Tom was, as ever, difficult to miss. Particularly since he ostensibly wasn't at school anymore (something that Renju could only guess at the reasons for and, at any rate, didn't approve of for reasons besides the obvious).

Either he'd noticed her, though, or her timing was poor, because he was heading deeper into the stacks. She followed him briskly, picking up a few books on her way both to be ready for when she actually started her work and to deflect suspicion.

"Senpai," she hissed when she was in earshot, "what are you doing here?"

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[info]ofmanydevices
2010-10-28 12:34 pm UTC (link)
Tom looked up from his book, lowering it to the table and setting it down.

"Technically... reading. Though I stopped so I could find the most sound proofed spot in the library I could." He shrugged slightly. The spot wasn't that quiet, the likely hood of someone coming back there was extremely low, even still Tom knew he had to keep any eye out for eavesdroppers.

"I'm also engaged in some surveillance. It's been about two weeks since the situation with Sakuraba-san. Culture festival seems like the perfect time for one of us to get grabbed."

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[info]lotus_beyond
2010-11-01 03:24 am UTC (link)
Well, it was quiet, at least, and isolated. As much as Tom could overdo it sometimes, there were some cases when paranoia was entirely justified, and this was one of them--doubly so if, as seemed to be becoming clear, the angels were involved with the school somehow.

Nonetheless, it seemed to Renju that there was some backsliding happening, perhaps due to her own hypervigilance towards herself in that respect. Sure, the paranoia didn't change, and it seemed like he'd been developing other issues (though she had few positive memories of Seiko's place, that was one thing that had particularly stood out to her at the time), but he'd been becoming less solitary, at least...

"You're right, but at least we know now who needs to be watched." She frowned and folded her arms, leaning back carefully against a bookcase. "The more important question right now, however, is 'why did you leave in the first place'."

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[info]ofmanydevices
2010-11-01 04:03 am UTC (link)
Toms eyes glanced down, he let out a long slow breath.

"I didn't have much reason to be here?" He answered almost as if he was unsure.

"I don't actually learn anything from going to class, I can finish school online later, and all the people I actually want to spend time with well..." Tom shrugged. "I could just call." He shifted uncomfortably.

"Seiko made a valid point when she broke up with me. The murders need to be our priority. So skipping out on all the odd things like culture festival and that, made sense. And I'm at a point where I can trust the team, so I don't need to watch everything all the time."

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[info]lotus_beyond
2010-11-01 11:40 pm UTC (link)
It was a logical argument--well, the first half was, anyway--but the thought of just not going to school was uncomfortable. Perhaps it was simply her own issues coloring the matter, but she didn't want to just let it stand.

She noted the mention of the breakup; it seemed wise, however, not to mention it. Not that she had much to say about the matter either way--there were more important things for her to focus on. "Have you called anyone, then?" Her arms remained folded, her expression skeptical. "The murders are important, and we need to deal with them more than we have been, but it shouldn't be to the exclusion of everything else.

"Not to mentioned that you haven't asked any of us for assistance." This seemed to almost annoy her more. "I thought you understood by now that you shouldn't handle this on your own."

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[info]ofmanydevices
2010-11-02 11:51 am UTC (link)
"I..." Tom sighed and slumped in his chair. "...I haven't done any actual investigating yet." He crossed his arms and stared at the table for a minute.

"After everyone saved me from Paradise, I tried to stop being afraid of how I felt. Then I realized I was being overly emotional, and reacting in such a manner that made me a liability. I was trying to stop when..." He waved a hand, and let out a breath, determined not to get whiny about it, it took him a second, but he managed to avoid any distracting emotional displays.

"...Anyways, I've been spending time alone trying to reach a sort of... emotional equilibrium. Stop being upset so that I can focus on the case and function." He glanced away.

"I guess after awhile I... got kinda lonely." He added sheepishly.

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[info]lotus_beyond
2010-11-03 01:54 am UTC (link)
While Tom spoke, Renju took the chair opposite him and folded her arms on the table, listening. One more thing she'd never imagined herself doing: being anyone's confidant. It was strange, the positions Paradise had placed people in--or, at least, led them to. Who knew what she herself might still be doing?

Still, she wasn't exactly sure what to say. With some, like Masami and Toshimi, and even Maeko, it was a little easier because it was something she'd had a direct connection with and managed to come up with a personal solution to: facing up to one's issues rather than running from them. This was just different enough that she found herself at a momentary loss for words. Somehow, she didn't think the same old advice would work.

And besides that, emotional turmoil of this kind, due to interpersonal relationships, was largely foreign to her, and hard to relate to. The worst she'd had was, well... that would also be a bad idea to bring up. When she spoke, it was a bit hesitant and halting as she tried to figure out what to say. She'd certainly be lying if she said he hadn't been a liability at all...

"Sealing yourself off from everyone is the wrong way to do it. Working together is essential in more places than just Paradise." The corners of her lips turned down a little, her posture stiffened, and her gaze flicked off to the side. "If I had tried to recover from that place on my own, I very well may have gone back instead."

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[info]ofmanydevices
2010-11-03 04:03 am UTC (link)
Tom turned slightly sideways, keeping his arms crossed.

"You've been hanging around Ito-san too much." Tom sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not Paradise bound or anything, previous attempts at asking for relationship advice did lead to Paradise though." He shrugged, perhaps relationship advice wasn't really what he needed, and it certainly wasn't what he wanted.

It was possible Renju had a point. Alone he felt safe, he couldn't be hurt by anyone but himself, and that was exactly what his shadow was.

"It's hard... to talk about things, to focus on the investigation when I just feel... but I won't inflict my pain onto anyone else, they don't deserve that." Tom sighed.

"I can't repress it, I can't indulge it, what choices are left?"

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[info]lotus_beyond
2010-11-04 01:58 am UTC (link)
The reminder of what had happened between them elicited a sharp frown and a bit of stiffening from Renju, but she didn't argue that particular point. It would likely only make things worse and more complicated at this point for both of them.

"I didn't intend to imply that you might be going back there." Her heel tapped against a leg of her chair. "But regardless of whether it's an immediate danger, it would be better to discuss it with someone so that you can focus on other things. If you can't 'burden' one of us, then at least tell Hamasaki-sensei about the mundane details.

"And it's no more an indulgence than what you're doing right now," she added pointedly.

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[info]ofmanydevices
2010-11-04 02:36 am UTC (link)
Tom's mouth curved into a cock-eyed frown.

"I haven't actually ruled Hamasaki out as an angel candidate yet." He put a hand to his chin.

"Plus I don't know what I'd say. "My girlfriend dumped me, because she thinks I'm not socially mature enough, and because our relationship is distracting when we're fighting for our lives against the personifications of mental states in an alternate dimension." Tom shrugged.

"I could lie, but that would color the advice given, which would make it less helpful." He let out a breath, tilting his head.

"I suppose the best thing to do would be to talk to a teammate. I'm sure Kozue wouldn't mind me opening up, even if I doubt very much that she has a basis for suggesting how to deal with a break up."

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[info]lotus_beyond
2010-11-04 03:00 am UTC (link)
"Then talk to her."

The offhanded comment about Hamasaki distracted Renju briefly, but really, it probably wasn't the best thing to divert the conversation to. (Not yet, anyway. She would certainly ask him about it later, though.)

Her posture relaxed a bit; now that she felt she was getting somewhere, and they were away from the threat of the topic turning to the two of them, she felt slightly more at ease. "Will you be returning to school?"

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[info]ofmanydevices
2010-11-04 03:22 am UTC (link)
Tom pursed his lips.

"Technically I have." He paused, knowing that would never be enough of an answer for her. He rolled his eyes slightly.

"If it will make you feel better, I'll at least attend one of the culture festival events." He pushed a stray lock of hair from his face, then blinked for a second, running over the planned events in his mind.

"Provided it's not the 3-B one. It involves dancing vegetables, and is just confusing."

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[info]lotus_beyond
2010-11-05 01:59 am UTC (link)
"Dancing vegetables?" Renju decided quickly that it was better not to pursue that particular line of conversation, lest it drive her even more mad. "... in any case, I recommend staying well away from 2-B's. It's unlikely to go well."

Though she was tacitly acquiescing to the compromise, it was clear from her tone that she wasn't satisfied with it. Still, at least progress was being made, and she'd gotten him to start making some contact with the outside world again. The rest would come later.

Then again, she decided on a little more thought, perhaps it was time to do some of it now. "Also, I intended to ask you this earlier, but would you be willing to resume our training?" Long past time, really.

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[info]ofmanydevices
2010-11-07 01:07 am UTC (link)
Tom's eyes widened slightly at the request. He hesitated slightly before answering. Previous experiences had made him wary, but he knew that that was his issue, that fear had driven him into Paradise once.

"Um... right, we can continue. Not attending class might make setting a room aside hard. The one I had gotten for us might still be empty, or we could use my old dorm room. It's still empty."

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[info]lotus_beyond
2010-11-08 02:25 am UTC (link)
"I'm wary of using school facilities for this, given how much of our evidence points to people here being involved."

Renju's shoulders had relaxed visibly, as though a weight she hadn't even known was there had been lifted from them. She hadn't really admitted it before, but everything that had come between them had been gnawing at her subtly since--not in a romantic way, but in the sense that Tom had been one of the first... something-like-friends she'd had. Now that she was being more honest with herself, she was glad not to have lost him entirely.

Even if he did have his flaws.

"Your dorm room would be the better of the two, I think. Or the Butterfly Room."

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[info]ofmanydevices
2010-11-13 05:40 am UTC (link)
Tom nodded, and smiled slightly. He missed the time they had spent training, if nothing else, the situation with Seiko meant that he would feel far less awkward spending the time with Renju now.

"Ther Butterfly room then, we have infinite space as far as I know, and we know we'll be safe there."

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