InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Jack Swagger!"

Yukizaki Seiko (mellow_lellow) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2010-06-15 19:41:00

Entry tags:

kiriko, seiko

Who: Seiko and Kiriko.
What: BITCH MENTORING.
When: Post-dungeon, post-Kiriko/ Toru thread.
Why: Seiko needs some help.
Where: Butterfly Room.

Seiko was sat in the Butterfly room, watching the hug dolls, they had all been returned, but they still had traces of glitter where they had been taken out into the unusually fabulous world. Her own hug doll had it worst off, she had found it on her bed, up to it's neck in glitter, its hair still seemed to be more glitter than hair, and she sighed as she watched the hands arrange the dolls around a table for a tea party.

She felt almost nervous about seeing Kiriko, the other girl seemed so together, so strong, so <i>cool</i>, it was possibly embarrassing to find someone a couple years younger than you this admirable. But Kiriko seemed to have understood her 'issues' in Paradise, almost as well as Kozue had, so she had to have experienced something similar? But she hadn't ended up like Seiko had, she had been stronger than that, and Seiko felt almost envious. Another emotion she hadn't accepted in a long time, everything felt so different, when she was able to experience the emotions she had tried so hard to repress.

She looked at the door, she had arrived early, actually brushed her hair and put on clean clothes, it wasn't that she wanted to impress Kiriko , she just realised she couldn't live in her pajamas, which was actually a little disappointing.

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mellow_lellow
2010-06-16 08:54 pm UTC (link)

"Oh! Hi!" Seiko tried her best to look like she hadn't been watching the door with not a great deal of success and eyed Kiriko's phone with a slightly curious look, but thought it best not to ask. "I..."

She sighed, people kept asking how she was, and she kept nearly telling them she was fine. She kept wanting to just give them a wide grin, wave off her trouble and persuade them to talk about themselves.

"I'm not so good I guess, I mean its all a bit, um, I'm a little tired?" Still not exactly full disclosure, but it was hard to even know the words that explained how exactly you felt after the Paradise experience. Instead she waved her hands in a wide vague gesture hoping that might imply what she was feeling.

"Um, thanks for coming to talk to me. I mean we haven't really talked much before, but that was probably because I was was, sort of, annoying? I don't even know, whatever I was."

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apathyisboring
2010-06-17 12:10 am UTC (link)

"A little bit," she answered with indifference as she took a seat on the couch, lost in the phone again. This time, after she shut it, it went back in her purse. If she'd figured out she was being rude, she offered no apology.

"Being tired makes sense. And you don't really need to thank me." She sank back into the chair and looked up properly at Seiko. She didn't know the other girl too well - she'd heard the rumours from her various phrases, but the dungeon had really been the first thing of substance she'd learned, other than the fact that she could apparently drive a tank. Honestly, from Kiriko's perspective she'd come off as a little boring.

But it was hard to call someone boring after they'd exploded into a hot, glittery mess. Maybe that was why she was interested.

"You wanted my help, right?"

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mellow_lellow
2010-06-17 07:25 pm UTC (link)

Seiko nodded, "Well, I sort of feel maybe I need to apologise to everyone, not just because my shadow told them I was using them, but um. She sort of wrecked the school, terrified people, tried to drown you in glitter. I know all shadows sort of, try to kill us. But mine was sort of..." She shrugged she didn't know a word that meant 'fabulous' and 'evil' instead she brushed some stray glitter off her trousers and looked up at Kiriko.

"Yeah, I realised a few things. I mean, a lot of my issues are to do with being female, and not being able to really, defend myself? You manage to be strong and express your feelings when something-" she shifted slightly as if she felt uncomfortable with what she was saying, "when something pisses you off. I need to be able to do that, I want to be stronger."

Looking around the room again and glancing at the hug dolls she exhaled and turned back to Kiriko. "Even when I was sort of, um, 'disco forest' I wasn't really very tough or expressed my feelings properly. I just thought you might be able to explain it to me a little."

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apathyisboring
2010-06-18 12:56 am UTC (link)

Kiriko nodded through this explanation. It didn't really mean anything, other than that she had heard what Seiko was saying. Feelings, huh? What an interesting thing to say.

Kiriko had been in this position before, sort of. Admirers weren't exactly uncommon to the girl, and the female variety traditionally said all the kinds of things that Seiko was saying to her - "She's so cool, nothing gets to her, how does she do that?"

But that had been some time ago.

Now she was hearing that she wouldn't hesitate to react when something pissed her off, that she was good at expressing her feelings. What a long way she must have come, and yet she still felt terrible at it. Maybe she was good at being angry, or disapproving, but the f-word still left her feeling as though she was teetering on the edge of something precarious. The bright side, of course, was that being sentimental seemed in general far less useful than all other forms of expression she had found.

She looked up at Seiko. Yes, she'd heard this before - what made Seiko any different? Kiriko could think of three good reasons: One, she had trouble refusing people more or less directly asking her to boss them around. Two, attempted murder by fabulous somehow brought some strange kind of intimacy to the situation. Three, possibly most importantly, Seiko had never been there for her trip to Paradise; information control was important, and that fact made her feel like this was something doable at a comfortable distance.

"Okay," she said finally. "I'll help, where I can." Her eyes rolled up to the ceiling in thought. She got what Seiko meant by 'femaleness,' and it was probably the best place to start.

"When you're a girl, everybody expects a piece of you. I think the first thing is to stop giving into that. Hmm... How much do you talk with falsetto, usually?"

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mellow_lellow
2010-06-19 05:09 pm UTC (link)

Seiko kept her eyes down continuing to try to get some glitter off her jeans as Kiriko thought. She felt slightly less intimidated now at least, from what she could tell of Kiriko and all that had been said, Kiriko at least understood the baggage attached to being attractive young woman who people had certain 'expectations' of. Seiko was fairly sure there was probably a lot of things they had different opinions on, but that didn't really matter, Kiriko had understood her shadow, slapped Ishinomori for what he had said it was enough to make Seiko comfortable taking her advice.

"Oh, falsetto? Um." She blinked a few times. "Oh a bit I guess, why is that a bad thing?" She wondered if it was a bad thing she didn't know, the only time she had ever considered how her voice sounded in the past was when she had been worrying if it was unattractive and would put people off her.

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apathyisboring
2010-06-20 02:47 am UTC (link)

Kiriko tipped her head back in thought.

"A lot of girls do, but you shouldn't unless you want something. The whole point is to sound more feminine and vulnerable. It's good for getting out of trouble but it isn't going to help you avoid being walked on."

She waved Seiko over to the couch before folding her arms in front of her, still musing over the subject as she spoke.

"That's really just one example, but it goes to show that everything is in how you present yourself. However you act is however others, especially guys, are going to treat you. Don't be too nice, don't stammer when they say things you don't like, don't talk to them if you want to make them feel beneath you."

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mellow_lellow
2010-06-28 01:33 pm UTC (link)

Seiko obediently sat on the couch, glad to be able to sit down, she still felt exhausted from her own place, and the couch really was incredibly comfortable.

"Don't talk to them? But then won't they think you are rude?" She frowned for a moment trying to process this advice. "Or is that the point, that they think you just don't have time for them or, um they will try to say things you like?" She wished she had brought a notepad, she felt like she was in a class an admittedly more useful class than some of the things she took, like geography, she didn't understand the point of geography at all.

"Oh and, what is the right level of nice then? What counts as too nice?" She felt shy asking all these questions, like she was being a slow student, but she'd rather get it right the first time when she had to do it in reality than mess up and have to go to Kiriko again.

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apathyisboring
2010-06-28 07:56 pm UTC (link)

"Right, exactly. And besides, it's probably true - you don't have time to entertain everybody in the world, right?" She was pleased that Seiko had caught on to her thinking so easily. She'd felt the faint sting of annoyance at being asked wasn't that rude, and was glad not to have to explain that one. Maybe she wasn't so like Misaki. But then, who could blame her for that assumption, given all the glitter?

"It depends on what's happening." She frowned as she pondered this question. "Obviously it's okay to be nice to your friends and people you trust, but most people...? You don't need to be rude to them, but you do need to remember that you don't owe them anything."

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