Esras practically flew out of the operating theatre and to the sink in the surgery he knew that seeing Ben in there would probably deepen his respect for him but he couldn't be in there for any longer. He hadn't thought far enough ahead to whether or not Icarus would follow him out but the hand on his elbow was unmistakable. He didn't want to jerk his elbow out of Icarus' hands but he did need it to turn the faucet on, "I'm sorry." he said again under his breath as he pulled his arm away from Icarus and knocked the faucet on with his elbow.
He took a moment to breathe as he scrubbed the blood off of his hands,"I'm sorry" he said in apology for apologzing. "Shit. I mean." he stalled again and bent down to rest hie head against the brim of the sink, it felt a little like his face was on fire and he found the cool porcelain actually rather soothing. "I just hate him. So much. He ruined her and he tried to rape her Icarus." he took a deep breath and momentarily silenced his thoughts, at least enough to get himself upright and turned to face Icarus and leaned back against the sink. "I never would have told her to find me if I knew that this was what was going to happen to her. I'm such a selfish asshole. She could be...she could be." words were failing him, "Fuck"