There were so many acidic thing she could say that would verbally slap Hate into next week.
She would not do this.
Why? She herself wasn't sure. As a mother, the woman had raised them to believe that family was everything, then asked them to abandon their father. As a mother she'd left them with another god, though she would not speak ill of Zeus himself, she'd still been left with him. As a mother she fell into a marriage with a man she did not feel she needed to share with her children, as she made quite clear with her current question. Bia never asked for another father, but she had one. Bia was satisfied with him.
Although Phobos was not her father, it felt like he was trying to replace the one she had so long ago. Her mother had not seen fit to bring it up to her that she was taking another husband. She had heard of it through a maenad of all things. She didn't mind it when her mother slept with people, but to take a husband was another thing entirely. It meant that Phobos would become family. She wondered, bitterly, if Styx would eventually leave him to die as well. The thought made her smile a sad pathetic smile at the irony, but she did not voice herself.
"Forgive me for assuming that he would see me that way after marrying you, mother. I sometimes forget who is family and who is not." The lines were so fucking blurred right now, she wasn't even sure who she was supposed to trust when her only family was hellbent on destroying itself. She was trying to stay calm, but she wanted to slam her forehead against a pillar or two. She tried to run a hand through her hair, but the fingers clenched the inky locks. "I just..." Why was it so hard to say anything that actually meant anything to her mom?
This was her mother.
The feeling of betrayal that laid in her heart caused her chest to hurt. It felt like it would burst. "I don't think I can talk to you right now. I feel like Phobos would be closest thing to talking to you and he's not here." Her voice strained with frustration. "I just can't. I'm sorry." She said getting up and taking a few steps down the stairs. "When I sort all this out, when I'm not...when I'm not angry and confused anymore. When I know what I'm doing we can talk this out, but I don't know what I can say to you that isn't just deliberately bitchy. That won't get either of us anywhere and you know it." It was true. If she spoke now, she'd probably denounce the woman for everything, even things she'd never done if she had the chance.
"Everything within me is against you." She couldn't even look at her as she spoke the words. They hurt much more to say than anything she'd ever said before. "I don't like this feeling and I want it to stop. I need time and space or I will do thing so irreversible that I will ruin everyone and everything even more so than I already have." She was talking about things far beyond her relationship with her mother now, but she would not voice it. "I just...I have to go now." She waited a beat to see her mother's reaction, though she didn't look directly at her. She didn't just want to leave her there. As impulsive as she was, she let Hate have that much.