Apate, Goddess of Deceit, Guile, Fraud & Deception (apate) wrote in deities_dot_com,
So his grand explanation, the thing he was going to use to give her a little understanding of the situation to help her get over it, was just him telling her how she felt?
That was it?
Somehow, she’d expected more. Especially when he’d only gotten half of it right. Things were missing. But in the end, she wasn’t truly surprised by his summation of her life. Once again, it was apparently entirely her own fault that her world had been shattered.
Who else was she supposed to blame for separating her from her twin but her parents? They were the ones that had made the decision to foster him to Prometheus. Without asking her, and without telling her, because she would have protested the action. How was that her fault? And yet he’d made it sound like she was in the wrong to be upset with them for their actions. Just as she was wrong, in his eyes, to blame him for keeping Dolos away from her. To be fair, that wasn’t his fault alone. And whether he wanted to believe it or not she did recognize that. But how was it hers?
What Apate was struggling with was the constant push he made for her to be at fault. It didn’t matter what direction she turned with him, she was wrong. Always in the wrong. There was no path left for her to take but to accept his rendition of accounts or to continue to be at odds with him. Why did he always make her feel this way? As though everything she was, everything she did, was unacceptable to everyone but her. She constantly felt as though she was on the defensive with him, never able to relax lest he succeed in convincing her that he was right and she really was the bane of all existence.
According to him, what she should have been upset about was being separated from her brother. How did he not see that was exactly what had happened? She didn’t think everything would have been perfect had it not been for them. Perhaps when she was young, but she was neither that naïve nor that simple any longer. But none of them, none of them, had recognized or admitted what they had done to her. How alone she had been, how confused, how lost, or how much pain they had caused her.
Not even Dolos.
But she was not going to argue with him. She wasn’t going to explain it to him either. Let him cling to his ideas, she didn’t need to give him yet another thing to make her fault. However, Apate could not let him sit there, looking as though he was a second away from smirking, even despite her decision. She was not going to argue with him, but he didn’t have it all right.
“You forgot the bit about how I hate Dolos.” There. Let him chew on that truth. Because it was. She hated him almost as much as she loved him. Really, how could Prometheus, in all his cleverness, have missed that?