Utterly oblivious to the escalating fight, Dionysus sat on the floor, quite happily playing with the Nord’s phone. Poor child. He’d simply handed it over, no questions asked, no conditions demanded. Someone should teach the boy how to haggle, or he was going to get taken to the cleaners. He was quite lucky that all Dio wanted to do was sext his mother.
Hermod’s mother. Not his own. That would be silly. The wine god had three of those, he’d be at it all night.
After sending off a wonderfully crafted text full of terribly naughty language, Dio thought perhaps it might be best to include a picture, so that Frigg would know who wanted her to bend over and spread her cheeks so he could lick her in places no one else had ever thought of. So he undid his pants and took a quick snap before sending that off in a text Then he added a selfie of his face, looking quite pleased with himself, for good measure.
That accomplished, he began to scroll his way through Hermod’s contacts, rather appalled at the list the boy had on speed dial. Dionysus fixed that by removing Hermod’s mother, father, and brothers, and adding the phone numbers of two escort services and a 24 hour muffler repair shop. After that, he renamed several of the contacts (but leaving Frigg’s name alone, because mother’s are sacred and should not be messed with) before finding one he knew.
Gleefully, Dio sent off a text to Vidar (whom he’d already rename Aquaman in the contacts) explaining that he should bring Philotes down to the bar, as there was stripping, fighting, and fun to be had, especially if she’d bring along some cookies. He signed it “your favorite box of wine.” That was so much fun, he texted seven more people, including another dick pic. He was fairly certain that one had gone to Thor. Was it Thor? Maybe. Who had he renamed to Dick Cheney again? Perhaps the young Nord would be able to sort out the phone.
Dionysus shoved the phone in his back pocket to return it to the Norse messenger, then made his way through the sea of legs toward the rest of the group. Perhaps he should borrow Nina’s phone for some entertainment as well. There had to be some interesting people in her contact list.
Oh look, there was Zelos! Dionysus gave him a very cheerful wave from the floor, and continued crawling.