That balloon in her chest reappeared, this time inflating. Every breath she took caused it to grow and grow, and it was pushing out, making it harder to get enough oxygen. She felt lightheaded.
No. She felt light. Or lighter. Bubbly. Effervescent. Something. She wasn't sure, but her world was no longer the bleak, heavy place it had been a few moments ago.
Because she wasn't alone.
Bast hated admitting to any sort of fear. Hated it. But she was scared. In fact, though she'd never own up to it, she'd always been afraid. There were only ever three constants in her life: Isis, Anubis, and Horus. And she didn't always like Horus. But even with them, sometimes, she still felt a bit isolated and alone. Especially in situations like this, personal situations. Like relationships. Which is why she avoided them like the plague in the past.
But Hermod was afraid too. In face, he had the exact same fear that she did. So... did that mean they were in this together? Bast sort of thought it did. So, in a way, he was holding her hand. Again.
Bast leaned forward, sliding her arms over his shoulders, hugging him tightly. Her voice was just barely above a whisper. "I can't promise I won't leave. I'd like to say I won't. I don't want to, and that's really new for me. But I don't know what will happen in the future. I don't have a crystal ball. And, I guess... I guess you don't either, do you."
She tilted her head, resting her cheek against the smooth skin of his shoulder. "I suppose we have to decide then what we are willing to live with. Or without. I thought it would be easier, hurt less, to let go of you now. Because the longer I'm with you, the more I'm going to miss when one of us leaves. But you, I guess, you think it's better to have those memories, even though it's going to hurt that bad.
"I don't want to hurt you, Hermod. I don't. I never want to hurt you." It was getting hard to talk past the lump that seemed to be growing in her throat. "I'm not good with pain myself. I mean, really not good. It makes me... angry. And... stuff. I don't... I don't know what to do."
Her arms tightened even more, until she was completely pressed against him. And then she did something she'd never ever done before. She admitted, "I'm scared."