"I don't know!" she wailed in frustration, completely ignoring the alcohol in favor of the hug. Bast leaned into Anubis, seeing the comfort she so desperately needed.
"I don't know what he did to me, I'm not like this!" One hand came up to fiercely scrub at her cheeks, but she knew it was a futile gesture. The tears just kept coming. They would not stop. "I don't feel like this. I don't go looking for people. I don't go looking for one specific person, anyway. And I did. He was the only one... I couldn't even have sex with Ninkasi without feeling like I was betraying him or something, which is dumb, because we didn't lay down any ground rules. I never lay down any ground rules. I come and go as I please, but I just kept going back to him. Only him. So I knew, it had to stop, because I wasn't me anymore. So I left him. I left him, and the son of a bitch had to go and say that he loved me as I was leaving."
She looked at her brother and sobbed, "He loves me, Nubie. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? It just makes it a thousand times worse, because I hurt him. And hurting him hurt me. I fucking hate this!"