Huzzah! (tag: Zeus)
There were days when Dionysus felt remarkably normal. Things around him were calm, rational, and ran smoothly. His brain did not flare off into wild tangents that led him down rabbit holes or into abbattoirs of horror. He could simply sit and think pleasant, normal thoughts, while doing nothing out of the ordinary at all. It was incredibly boring.
Fortunately, this was not one of those days.
Dio had absolutely no idea where he was. In truth, he could not even place when he was. Nor did he have any idea how he'd arrived in this wonderful place. But there were dirt roads, rustic cottages, men with swords, children with flower garlands, and women with bosoms tightened in corsets until they were ready to pop. There were also families with cameras, teenagers in shorts, and a frat boy in the stocks getting peppered with tomatoes by his house brothers. On the signs around him there were segreant dragons and naiant fish and a rampant regardant lion contemplating its nowed tail, all on various fields of color. It was wonderful.
His attention was suddenly caught but a young woman in a store-bought Renaissance costume with gossamer wings made of nylon and wire strapped to her back. She was staring at the ground, and hopping quite deliberately. Approaching, Dionysus asked what it was that she was doing.
“Keeping the ground from flying off,” she replied with wide eyed sincerity.
“Really?”
“Oh yes. So the gravity doesn't pull it away,” she explained.
For a moment, he thought that she might be one of his blessed souls, but when he Looked at her mind he could see that what prompted her affectation was nothing more than play-acting. Ever helpful, he gently touched her brain, adding just a bit of insanity. For realism. Then he smiled, “That's very kind of you. Please, continue.”
As the girl hopped off, now sincerely babbling about the dangers of gravity, Dionysus grinned. This place was so much fun. He was going to have such a great time here! And as an extraordinarily voluminous set of breasts jiggled past him, he had an even better idea. It would be so much better if it were shared! And he knew just who would appreciate the view.
“Daddy-mommy!” he called silently through the aether. “I have no idea where I am, or when I am, or what I am, but you should come here! Now! There are boobs everywhere!”