Alastor Gumboil; Work Dad. (arrest) wrote in cultureic, @ 2016-07-22 11:09:00 |
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Entry tags: | alastor gumboil, jacob sloper |
WHO: Jacob Sloper & Alastor Gumboil.
WHAT: Old friends meet for Patronus practice, and Jacob makes a confession.
WHEN: Last week, July 14th, 2016.
WHERE: A unpronounceable field in Wales somewhere.
WARNINGS: :(
“What’s your happiest memory?” Alastor prompted encouragingly. They were in a field, far away from distraction and disturbances; Al had thought it would be easiest to coax a corporeal Patronus out of his friend away from anything - or anyone - that would make it more difficult. “Maybe if this one’s not working, it’s time to pick another.” he suggested. He was unsure of what was giving Jacob trouble, but he knew it wasn’t from lack of ability - Jacob was an incredibly skilled wizard. Al had nothing but faith in his ability to cast one again. "It was when I was a kid, during one of the summers off from school. Me and dad went walking through these woods near home-- the weather was nice, we talked, we-- It was nice. It was happy." Reticent by nature, Jacob felt uncomfortable having to pour out his 'happy memories' to Al, even if he was one of his oldest friends. To distance himself from it, he tried the charm again, going through the motions, holding the memory tight and uttering the words, only to let out a frustrated grunt when wisps of white drifted weakly from the tip of his wand. "How does anyone manage to drudge up a happy memory these days, anyway?" Al was undeterred; he pretended not to notice his friend’s frustration, as though acknowledging would only make it worse. “I dunno, mate - I feel like sometimes it’s easier if it’s not a complete memory, moreso a specific moment where you just like… I dunno. Felt something that wasn’t complete shit.” He shrugged, realising he wasn’t being helpful in the least bit. “I’m sorry. It’s hard to explain. If I can manage one though, anyone can. Can you pick like, just a single moment out of that and dwell in it? Forget you’re here for a moment, y’know?” He waved his hands awkwardly as he spoke, not really any better at talking about - or dealing with - feelings than Jacob was. Then, because he was far better at doing than talking, he took a deep breath, focused on the task at hand, then cast his own Patronus - a towering wolfhound - which just stood there, a large, looming spectre looking just as awkward and gangly as Alastor without any directions on what to do next. Alastor volunteered neither his happiest memory, nor the fact that he was well-practiced because of the secrets he was keeping, instead looking to the other man in silence and shrugging again. Jacob tried his hardest not to glare at Alastor or the perfectly corporeal Patronus he had summoned, figuring that bitter jealousy wouldn't help him along the path to happiness. Instead he closed his eyes tightly and tried to focus on his memory, taking it apart piece by piece and trying to find perfection; The way the sunlight had filtered down through the trees. The solitude of the forest closing in around him. The cries and calls of-- Almost growling as his train of thought derailed, Jacob shook his head and cursed, "This is pointless. We'd have more luck just doping me up again. Or I could just quit… probably be doing the Department a favour." Alastor winced; as self-deprecating as he could be, hearing someone he cared about insult himself pained him. He reached out and gave him a reassuring pat on the back, trying to calm him. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to that Department - don’t be stupid. The more frustrated you get, the harder it’s gonna be - are you okay, mate? Are you distracted or something? I know you’ve got this.” Jacob let out a dark, bitter bark of laughter in response to Al's question. Was he distracted? The Full was looming. His change with it. They were no closer to stopping the Dark Army. His Department was getting press-ganged into playing Executioners. "I'm--" He started, then stopped himself, closing off and putting his walls up. "I'm fine." Alastor paused, head tilted, recognising when he was being shut out. It took one to know one. He hesitated for a moment, not knowing whether to press on or not. In the end, however, he decided that they’d come here for a reason. He wasn’t about to give up that easily. “We could do some cheering charms, maybe? Do you want to try that or do you think that’s dumb?” Al asked. "I need to be able to do it without cheering charms." Jacob replied sharply, wincing when he heard himself. He knew Al was only trying to help him through it, which was more than he deserved given that he'd been a bastard of a friend for-- well, for years now. And that was the root of it, wasn't it? He'd gotten bit and turned into one of the most miserable bastards to stalk the halls of the Ministry. The fear and the need to hide creeping its way into every aspect of his life like rot until there was nothing left. He worked. He ate. He slept. But everything else had crumbled away, chased off by the wolf and the wreckage it left in its wake every time he turned. He was sad, scared, lonely, and the wolf had left him nothing but the weight of each change, slowly crushing him as each Full crept closer and closer. Al flinched as Jacob snapped at him, but he persisted. If he had to badger him, he’d badger him, whether Jacob wanted him to or not. “I know, I know, but the more you do it right, the easier it’ll be without ‘em - you know that. I’ve known you since you were knee-high to a kneazle. You’re not a quitter. Now buck up and try it again.” he said firmly, without really knowing why his friend was so reticent. To him, Jacob was just Jacob. Sure, he’d gotten dispirited in recent years, but so had a lot of people, including Alastor. War had that effect on people; Al could sympathise - or at least he thought he could. “Are you sure you’re alright? Are you sure you - I dunno - don’t want to talk or something? Take a break?” He didn’t expect the other man to accept his offer, but it was worth a try nonetheless. Jacob stared at Al for a moment, silently considering the other man, wondering what would happen. If he told anyone, if he told everyone-- well, at least it would all finally be over. It made sense in a way, too, Al had been the one he'd come out to first the first time around. "I'm a wolf." At first Alastor just blinked at him, not really understanding. “You’re a - what?” he asked, wondering if he’d misheard. After a pause, he finally began to process what his friend was telling him. “Like, a werewolf?” He sounded surprised - not angry, not horrified, just startled. And then, in case Jacob misunderstood his reaction, he neither assaulted him with a barrage of questions or hesitated, he simply moved forward to envelop the larger man in the biggest bear hug he could muster. “Jake. Hey. That’s alright.” he said, embracing him for as long as he would let him. Jacob had tensed up as Al approached him, then even more so when he'd embraced him. He'd been expecting a lot of things -- yelling, punching, curses both verbal and magical -- but not this. Unsure of how to respond, he felt like he had to explain, his voice tight with emotion as he spoke, "It was uh, it was five years ago. I was working a case out in the field, got sloppy, got bit. I-- I've been lying ever since. To everyone." Alastor pulled back just far enough to look at Jacob as he spoke, hands still resting comfortingly on the other man’s shoulders. He gave him a reassuring smile, though his eyebrows creased with concern as he found out just how long he’d been keeping this in. “Jesus, mate. I can’t imagine. I’m sorry you had to do it alone.” he said with a sympathetic look. “But hey - you’re still here, aren’t you? You’re still you. Look at all you’ve accomplished - you’re Deputy Head, your Department thinks you’re great, you’re talented as hell… and none of your friends are gonna love you any less, y’know?” He personally knew more werewolves than he could admit to without revealing his own secret double life - all of them lovely human beings. This changed nothing in his eyes. “You’ve always been kind to me. You’re one of the best people I know. And if anyone ever says shit to you, you tell me and I will personally fuck them up.” Jacob shook his head, overcome by the outpouring of support from his friend, "Christ, Al, I-- It's not that simple, though." Pulling away from his friend before he did anything embarassing or pathetic, he sighed. "I didn't register. When it happened, I was too-- I just didn't, and as time went on it got harder and harder, and now? I could fake it. Doctor the documents so it looks like I did it when it happened, but then if it gets out, the Department's been knowingly letting a werewolf work in secret for years." "And if I don't, and it gets out, then the Department's had a werewolf under their noses for years and never realised." He shook his head again, "No matter what, I'm letting them down." “Hey, that’s… complicated, I’ll admit, but it’s not impossible?” Al said. His immediate impulse was to try to help make Jacob feel better despite the fact that, yes, when he put it that way, the situation he’d found himself in did sound rather dire. “You’re not letting them down. You did what you had to do - I get that. People aren’t exactly, you know, progressive on this sort of thing. It’s not hopeless, though.” He didn’t really have any answers, but he didn’t think that Jacob expected him to have any, either. “You’re not alone,” he assured him. “What do you need? How can I help?” "I, uh--" Jacob took a step back from Al and cleared his throat, trying his best to pretend like he wasn't on the verge of getting emotional. "I think just telling you helped. Having someone-- a friend know? It helps. Thanks, Al." A beat passed and then, with a slight tremble in his voice, "I mean it. Thank you." “Hey, you don’t need to thank me. What are friends for, y’know? I’m here for you,” Al said, and meant it. Jacob was one of his oldest friends; a furry little problem once a month wasn’t going to change that. The tremble had not gone unnoticed. Al had never been that great at pep talks. He preferred actions over words. And so, ignoring the fact that Jacob had stepped back from him, he moved forward and hugged him warmly again, followed by an affectionate peck on the cheek. “And Jake? Don’t think I’m gonna go any easier on you with Patronus practice. Shall we get back to it?” Jacob recoiled as Al kissed him, playfully shoving at the other man, "Get off, you randy Welsh git!" Nodding, he took a deep breath and prepared himself, wand at the ready, "Yeah, let's get back to it." Taking another step back, he carefully went through the motions, called out the incantation and watched in wonder as a shape sprang forth from the tip of his wand; not completely corporeal, but its wings and talons stood out clearly as it circled in the sky above them. "Figures that was it…" Jacob murmured under his breath. |